Well, since the other SF fic had too many uninteresting game mechanics in it, I tried to redeem myself in the SF fanfic world with this. This is about the thoughts of Blue after he is defeated by Rouge, but I put a twist here.
Disclaimer: RebornEnvy does not own SaGa Frontier or any of the characters depicted in this fic. All material used in this fic is and perhaps always will be property of Square.
I had expected a lot of things. I know what would happen if I was either victorious or defeated. In the end, you defeated me, but this wasn't what I had expected. This was the end of everything for me. You should have finished me off and just ended it, but you didn't. You left me here, alive but deader than I could ever be.
What was it that made you spare me? Was it mercy, pity, or some cruel sadistic sense of humor? If you were merciful and truly understood the situation that I'm in, you would have finished me off instead of leaving me stranded here alone.
I'm the only one here in this strange world where we had our duel. After I was defeated you left with your allies and mine. Now the only thing keeping me company is the floating rock platform where I was defeated.
How long have I been here? A day? A month? A year? In this realm, there's no day and night. Nothing changes at all. This place isn't just pitch black, it's obsidian. I haven't used any of my senses other than hearing and feeling.
I felt hungry at first, but not now. I think I lost the ability to feel hunger a long time ago a long with some of my other senses.
I can hear my own heartbeat becoming weaker and weaker and feel my body shutting down. In the past, I've always found a sanctuary in the silence. Now, I can't find anything calming about the lack of sound here. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually miss the mindless chatter that seemed to be in every corner that I went to and tried my hardest to ignore.
What have I accomplished in my life? Everything in my life has been taking orders from my masters, completing on task after another. For me, it was always move from point A to point B. There was nothing in between. Everything that I was raised for when I was born was to train me for that battle and become the victor. Except, I lost…
What do I have remaining now if I do by some miracle manage to escape? I know that's impossible now, because the only other person that could come here is you and you were the one that left me here. Left me here to rot and wallow in my own self-pity.
Will anyone remember me? Will anyone care? The ones who taught me everything I knew for that battle called me a prodigy and said that I was sure to win. What would they say now if I returned? You drained me of my power, my only identity in the world. It was the only thing that gave me value.
Without my power, I'm just a blade that lost its edge. Outdated, obsolete. I have nowhere to go, not that I can escape this place. Is this all there is to my life? Am I just a tool?
Why did you manage to defeat me? I was always ahead of you when we were younger and you never paid attention to important battle strategies and found interest in the most trivial things, like food and flowers. Despite the fact that we may have had the same upbringing and same quest, the two of us couldn't be anymore different.
I watched you laugh and talk to your allies before our battle. While I did my best to keep my distance from the ones that traveled with me, you were in the center talking with them. It was like all of you became… friends…
I learned that friends were a weakness and that's why I kept my distance from my allies and they did likewise. The reason that they even traveled with me was because they each had their own goals and I said I could help them. They were drawn by my power. Everything for me revolved around power. My quest revolved around accumulating power before fighting you to make myself stronger.
I guess I wasn't as strong as I thought. Perhaps I was just on a power trip this whole time. I didn't help my allies with their quests and told them that I would be able to do a lot more after I reached my goal and defeated you. You were the one that defeated me and they abandoned me, just like that.
Before I even hit the ground from the final attack, they were gone. During our battle, your friends cheered you on when you were losing. My allies didn't make a sound when I got knocked down.
I had a strange feeling in the battle because of the silence that was met after every hit I made. Throughout the battle, I knew that every single cheer of encouragement wasn't directed at me. You were able to stand up when you shouldn't have and I had a strange feeling then.
I couldn't understand what was happening then, but I know now. I felt hurt because no one wanted me to win. That confused me and made me feel like the villain of that whole scenario. Perhaps, in some ways, that was true. I wasn't a hero, that's something I know for sure.
Perhaps I should have helped my allies' in their individual quests. Perhaps we could have been friends. I know now that having friends is not a weakness. If I did all of those things, then maybe there will be someone who remembers my name, someone who would care about me when I'm gone.
Who am I kidding? I'm not a people person. You were the closest thing I had to a friend when we were younger and look how things turned out.
I've had time to think while I lay here motionless, my thoughts were the only thing that kept me company. The cold fist of reality hit me here. Throughout my whole life I have accomplished… nothing… absolutely nothing.
My existence is about as important as an ant's. Hell, some ants probably had more impact than me. Now that I think about it, I take back my first statement.
I'm not deader than I could ever be. I have never truly been alive. To enjoy the little things in life and to share with others, whether it's small problems or great accomplishments is what life is truly about, not finishing one pointless task after another to extend my power trip. You seemed livelier during and before our battle than I have ever been in my life.
Now that I realize this, I feel more alive than ever. Even if my body is dying, I finally understand now. I can feel myself losing consciousness. I close my eyes for what I hope to be the last time…
Wait! I can hear footsteps. If you came here to finish me off, I'm ready for that now.
Something feels warm… someone is lifting me… This is so warm. I need to open my eyes and see what's going on…
I try to use what little energy I have left to accomplish that task, but whatever kept me conscious this whole time left me and the world became dark again, but I'm satisfied because I finally got the human contact that I've been yearning for…
You didn't leave me here after all...
Well, what did you think? Like it? Hate it? Need therapy because of it? Well, click on that little review button and tell me. This turned out less angsty than I had wanted it to be, but I like it.