"Queen of the Bees"

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Flies... and I don't want to either. X I hated this book...

A/N: this is a parody that we had to do in my English II class where it was "Lord of the Flies" with girls.

Susan was wandering aimlessly through the jungle. One of the other girls had made fun of her jungle-chic outfit and she'd left in a huff. She continually tripped over fallen trees, vines, and everything else. She contemplated taking off her heels, but who knew what was on the ground that she didn't want her bare feet to touch.

Susan continued to pick her way through the green growth of the jungle, grumbling to herself. "Who does Jane think she is, making fun of my outfit? At least I bathe once in a while, and she most definitely is wearing a knock-off. Oomph!" She tripped over a branch, and fell face first. She gave a slight groan and started to sit up, when she heard some voices.

She slumped back down, and watched a small group of the girls set up a piece of wood that they were filling with fruit.

"I sure hope the monster is a vegetarian." A younger girl, Katy, squeaked.

"Of course," Jane said. "Otherwise we'd just be wasting fruit." She set down a group of bananas.

"But how do you know?" demanded a slightly older girl, Nicole.

"I just do!" Jane snapped. "Now, let's leave it here for the monster. C'mon, let's get back before it gets here." Jane turned on her heel and walked away, the girls following behind her. Nicole, however, grabbed one of the bananas. "Probably isn't a monster anyway." She reasoned to herself before hurrying to catch up with the rest of the girls.

Despite that fact that she was getting her only outfit dirty, and she could spy at least five different types of bugs from where she was laying, she remained low to the ground, waiting to see if this 'monster' would really appear. Suddenly bees began to attack the fruit; soon it was covered with the swarming mass of yellow and black. "Shoo!" Susan said, swatting at a few who dared to come near her.

Susan remembered how they had nominated her, being the lightest, to go into the unstable plane and rescue the essentials. In the middle of her rescue mission, the plane started to tip, and they yelled for her to bring what she could. Her two options that were in reach were a first aid kit and her strawberry shampoo. You can guess which one she picked, because it was now attracting the bees toward her.

"Hello Susan."

Susan looked to the left. She looked to the right.

"Right here, Susan."

Susan looked up. She looked down.


Susan looked straight ahead, and sure enough, some of the bees had parted enough so that some of the fruit was visible, and it seemed to be talking to her. At first, she thought that she was going crazy with the heat, or maybe a bee had stung her and she was having an allergic reaction.

"Do you know who I am, Susan?"

"Um," She thought for a moment. "Part of the banana family?"

She could hear a faint sigh. "No, I am the Queen of the Bees."

"Oh." Susan continued to lay there quietly, as if it was perfectly normal for a bunch of bananas to suddenly speak to her.

"You knew, didn't you? I'm part of you? Close, close, close! I'm the reason why it's no go? Why things are what they are?"

"Huh? I don't know anything! Personally, I like apples better than bananas. And as to why I'm here, our plane crashed and-,"

"You are not wanted on this island!"

"What? You think I want to be here?" Susan scoffed. "Trust me, if it was up to me, I'd be at the spa, having your cousin the cucumber sliced up and placed over my eyes."

There was a very exasperated sigh and a few muttered "I swear".

"Well?" Susan asked. "Is that all?"


"Then what do you want? Because, quite honestly, I'm getting sick of lying her listening to a banana. I'm about ready to squish you under my Jimmy Choo shoes; they were a going away present from Daddy."

"I'm trying to tell you something important!"

"Then spit out." Susan said. "Well, not really, spitting is just gross."

"You are a bad person, Susan."

"Oh my god, do not give me that lecture. Just because I wear leather and the occasional fur does not make me a bad person."

"See?! That's what I'm talking about! You are so selfish you think of no one but yourself."

"I think of other people." Susan said.

"Who?" The Queen of the Bees asked accusingly.

"Well, ah, I, um," Susan stumbled over the words. "I once had my driver pick up some of my stuff at the dry-cleaners so my maid wouldn't have to." She said triumphantly.

"Mhm. Would you like the Nobel Prize for that amazing act of charity? Or would you prefer a new pair of shoes by Galiano?"

Susan stood up and brushed some dirt off her Juicy Couture skirt. She was pretty sick of this buggy deity insulting her.

"What are you doing?" The Queen of the Bees buzzed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"You don't talk to Susan Pricilla Antonia Wentworth-Thompson like that."

And in less time then it took Susan to swipe her credit card for the new Louis Vuitton purse collection (it had been purple, her favorite color) the once whole bananas became mush with a few stomps from her $600.00 leopard-print Jimmy Choo's.

The bees buzzed away, and the pile of gooey mush was left moaning and gurgling.

"Silly Queen of the Bees," Susan said. "Everyone knows Galiano's dresses are way better than his shoes." And with that, Susan walked away from the mashed fruit, fully intending to make Jane buy her a new pair of shoes that her stupid offering had ruined. This time, perhaps, they'd be purple, to match her new Louis Vuitton purseā€¦