OK, so its Voldemort here, again. This is my second solo story; tell me if you want me to continue!!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, cause if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't have given the world the gift of Jasper…
Ok so I now introduce:
Paint Ball With the Cullens
It was a regular Saturday, Alice had forced me to go shopping with her, and stupidly I had agreed. Wandering around the Seattle mall, Alice informed me then that we were almost done for the day.
"Hmm, ok. So we've hit Channel, Gucci, Abercrombie, um…. I think that's all….," Alice trailed off, mentally checking her list. Suddenly, Alice slumped off into vision mode, and a few seconds later, she was back grinning evilly. "One last store, Bella!"
Alice dragged me along, chipper as ever, and came to a stop at the front of Paint Ball and Hunting World!. I looked, horrified at the store, as Alice cheerfully lead me in, and began to look at protective gear.
"Alice…. What did you see?" I asked carefully.
"Oh, nothing, Bella! Just Emmett, ya know, being Emmett…," Alice trailed off, "Oh, this would look fabulous with the new jeans that I bought you from Abercrombie!! Here, pull then out and see!!" Alice squealed, carefully ignoring my question, holding up a cute protective jacket.
"Alice," I growled, quite annoyed that she was keeping something from me.
"Bella! Calm down, it was nothing. You'll have FUN!" Alice insisted, while looking at some paint ball guns. "Hmmm…. I wonder how much she can take? Hmmm…." Alice squeezed her eyes shut, looking into my near future, "Aha! Yes, I would pick this one, wouldn't I?! Cute, small, easy to manage…" Alice rambled to herself, picking up a rifle-like gun, then turning and picking up 7 other guns which looked down right scary. I was afraid. Very Afraid.
"Helmets!" Alice quipped, "I almost forgot a helmet!" Alice looked appalled with herself, as she grabbed a helmet off the rack, not even giving it a second glance, then charging to the check-out. "Oh, Bella, this is gonna be fun!!" Alice whispered to me, standing up to the cash with an angelic smile.
"Hey, there, sweetheart! Don't you think you're a little young to be here all by yourself? I can't sell you these, you're too young…" The older guy at the cash smiled at Alice as he rambled on.
"Oh, so I'm old enough to be married, in university, and driving my own 911 turbo Porsche, a gift from my brother, but not old enough to buy paint ball equipment?!?!!" Alice all but screamed at the guy. "Holy FLIP I'm so pissed off at people assuming that just because I'm 4'9" that I'm not OLDER THAN YOU!!! LOOK AT MY ID YOU FREAKEN IDIOT!!!" Alice yelled at the cash guy, throwing her, though fake, but very legit—thank you, Jasper—ID at the cash guy. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!!?!? I AM ALICE CULLEN!!!" The cash guy visibly paled. "Yeah, that's right!! ALICE FREAKEN CULLEN!!! I PRACTICLY OWN THE MALL!!! OR ANY MALL, FOR THAT!!!"
"Umm, um…. Oh…ah…" The cash guy stuttered, "I'm SOO, so, so, so, so sorry, Miss Cullen!! Please, forgive me!!! I want to keep my job! Please! Oh! I'll give you a discount!!! All of this merchandise is not 50 off!!"
"Well, I suppose that could make the situation less irritable, and that might make up for your insolence, and I just may not call the manager, George? Is George working today?" Alice asked.
"Um… yes?" Cash guy answered timidly.
"Oooh!!! Get him!! I haven't spoken to George in forever!!! Bella, you will LOVE George!!" Alice squealed, causing the cash guy to start in surprise at her sudden mood swing. The cash guy disappeared for a few minuets.
"Alice!" I hissed, "That poor guy!! You had him so scared!! That was not nice at all!"
"Oh, Bella! He was going to ask you out, I decided to spare him his life and change his course. Cause then, we would have gotten home, and then Edward would have totally freaked, and then he would have—"
"Alice!" I suppose this was George, yelled happily at her. "What are you doing here?! Oh, picking up some paint ball gear are we? How are those rifles holding out? They should be wearing out soon…"
"Oh, they're just dandy! I needed to pick up some paint ball gear for my family, they're really bored, and regular hunting just isn't cutting it anymore, I guess… Or I'm just worried that they'll really use the rifles on Emmett, you know how he can be… OH! How's Carol? Has she had the baby yet?" Alice asked in about one breath.
George and Alice carried on their conversation for about 5 minuets, when Alice mentioned the incident with Cash Guy. George looked appalled, and started yelling at Cash Guy for a few minuets, then decided to give Alice the stuff for free.
We were walking happily from the store, with Alice chattering happily about the joy in talking to George again, when I decided to ask Alice about the guns, the real ones.
"Oh, well… um, it's a funny story, but we have to have Emmett and Jasper for the full effect!" Alice happily explained while we jumped into her new Porsche. "Well, the real reason we have guns is because we use them when we play paint ball, but I kinda figured that since you were here we should get the paint ball guns, cause you wouldn't really appreciate an accident, and Edward would be PISSED."
"PAINT BALL?!!?!" I screeched, realizing what Alice expected.
"Don't try and get out of this, Bella, it's set in stone. And you'll have lots of fun!! Please, please, please?" Alice asked me, pulling out the puppy dog eyes when she sensed that the threats weren't doing their job.
"Fine. But don't expect me to do much." I answered sourly as we pulled into the Cullen's driveway.
"Yay! Yay! Yay!! Yay!!" Alice squealed as she jumped out of the car and shouted to someone in the house, "SHE SAID YES!!!"
"REALLY?!" Emmett, I knew he had something to do with this!, asked running out of the house. "AWESOME!!! Did you get the guns??!!!!"
"You bet I did!! Here, grab them from the back…" Alice trailed off as Rosalie walked out the front door with Jasper trailing behind her.
"AWESOME!!!" Emmett cheered as he fired off the gun, hitting Rosalie right in the left thigh. Rosalie glared at Emmett, and Emmett face fell in fear.
"You. Are. So. Dead." Rosalie said, giving Emmett a death glare. "These were my favourite pair of jeans, and you RUINED THEM!!! This is WAR, EmmyBear, WAR!!!" Rosalie shrieked, running into the house.
"Oh, dear, you are in trouble…." Jasper started. "Alice and I are on Rosalie's team."
"Oh, I think not, Jazzy." Alice smiled sweetly at Jasper.
"What? Why not, Alice?" Jasper asked, confused.
"Because, Jazz, it's a battle of the sexes." Alice said, followed by an evil giggle. "Come on, Bella!! We need to prepare the troops!!"