Title: Death Wish

Rating: M

Summary: Kinda AU. Doctor/Rose. Based on a dream I had. I can't tell you more, coz it's really hard to explain!

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.

Author's Note: Um, not much to say.

Death Wish

"Mickey the Idiot, the world is in your hands," he says. Mickey shuts his eyes tight and clicks the mouse, sending the missile towards 10 Downing Street.

"Right, now I'm making the decisions," says Rose. "I'm not gonna die, we're gonna ride this one out!" She walks over to the cupboard and opens the door. "It's like what they say about earthquakes – you can survive them by standing under a doorframe. Now, this cupboard's small, so it's strong. Come and help me! Come on!" He and Harriet run over to assist Rose. The missile is slowly closing in on them.

"Right, that's done it," says Rose. "Now we can just sit under here … and hope for the best."

"Right then," says Harriet. "Let's do it!"

"You go ahead Harriet, we'll be in in a minute," says Rose. Harriet goes to protest, but Rose looks her in the eye, and Harriet knows there's no convincing her. She closes the cupboard door.

"Rose, what are you doing?!" he exclaims. "The missile's coming, we could …"

"I know," says Rose calmly. "I know there's a chance that I may not make it out of here alive. That's why I need you to do something for me."

"Anything Rose," he promises. Rose looks up at him.

"Kiss me," she says.

"What?!" he splutters.

"Kiss me," repeats Rose. "Please Doctor, these may be my last moments alive, and I want to use them to do something I've wanted to do for a while now. You can't deny that there's something between us Doctor. I felt it when you first held my hand, I felt it when we ate chips together, and I felt it when you told me you were so glad you met me. This is my death wish Doctor – make it come true." He looks at Rose, his mind buzzing at a thousand miles an hour. He's only known this girl for a short time. And as her mother said, she's just a kid. But they've been through so much together already … He doesn't know whether it's the pressure or the look in her eyes or the fact that if he doesn't do this she'll die, but he takes a step towards her …


He throws Rose's naked body down on the bed and thrusts into her.

"Oh … oh … Doctor!" she cries as wave after wave of pleasure hits her. It took a life and death situation to get here, but it was worth it. He looks down at the beautiful creature below him, and a single tear runs down his face as he realises just how much she means to him. He was willing to sacrifice the whole world for this ape, and it was because of her bravery that he didn't. And it was because of her quick thinking that they were still alive. And it was because of her honesty that they were making love on his bed at this very moment. He calls out her name at the top of his voice, sending an echo through the room. He's travelled the universe for 900 years, but now there are really stars in his eyes. His breaths become short and quick, until he can take no more …


He collapses next to her, and stares into her eyes. She stares back into his. They've just come back from New Earth. This is their first time after the regeneration, and he was worried that she wouldn't want him anymore. However, in the last 20 minutes he'd found that he was mistaken.

"Wow," Rose says. "That was … fantastic."

"Yeah," he agrees. "Absolutely brilliant. So … you think I'm foxy, do ya?"

"What?" says Rose. She then remembers their encounter with Cassandra, and blushes. "Well of course I do. I'm sleeping with you aren't I?"

"True," he admits. "But seriously … what do you think of this body?"

"Hmm," ponders Rose. "You're a tad skinny, but not too anorexic-looking. Your hair's just adorable; I love that I can run my hands through it." He grins and swipes a hand through his hair as she speaks.

"But your eyes …" Rose continues, "… I could look into them all day. Deep pools of brown, I could get lost in them so easily. So full of life, but at the same time so dark and mysterious. Yep, that's what I love most. Your eyes." She leans in and gives him a soft kiss on the lips.

"Actually …" Rose says, "… there is something that combats your eyes. Something I'd like to continue to get acquainted with."

"Oh yeah?" he says, raising an eyebrow. "And what's that?" Rose says nothing. Instead she slowly shifts her gaze towards his crotch.

"Oh," he realises. "Well, in that case …"


He wakes up alone in bed. He feels for her next to him, but finds nothing. Then slowly, a feeling of dread comes over him as he remembers what happened. The Cybermen, the Daleks, the void, Bad Wolf Bay …

"Rose," he whispers, but he receives nothing but the gentle hum of his ship in reply. He begins to cry. She meant more to him than all his companions put together, and now he'll never see her again. Except in dreams, of course. Or are they nightmares? Is it a blessing that he sees her every night, or a curse? Memories of what have been, what he wishes could have been … every night they come, and every morning he wakes up having to relive the realisation that she's gone. He thinks back to the beginning of his dream, when Rose told him her death wish. He makes one of his own now.

"Before I die, I wish to see her again," he says quietly.


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Was the Doctor remembering, or wishing for what could have been? I couldn't decide, so I'll leave it up to you. Please review!