Venom. By Nkm.

Note: This one-shot can take place any time after Second Year... Well, almost. Beyond that, this was just something that popped into my head when I should be sleeping, at four a.m. So please ignore all grammar error. It'll be fixed eventually... Unless somebody want to do it for me?

UPDATE: Note at the bottom.


Detention with Potter.

He had to spend his free evening serving detention to Potter.

Somebody must be laughing at him right now. The brat just had to be caught wandering around the North Tower by McGonagall. The same McGonagall who claimed to be busy. Who claimed Filch was down with the flu. Who claimed that he, Severus Snape, was the only professor available to serve out Harry Potter's detention.

It's all her fault. Potter too.

So here he was, walking through the Forbidden Forest with Potter dragging his feet behind him. He preferred to have Potter clean out cauldrons in the dungeons. However, as much as he loathed to admit it, he needed to collect ingredients in the forest. He was not willing to wait another month for a new moon. Albus proclaimed the utmost importance for the potion. He bet it was for the other Dumbledore brother and his questionable habits for goats.

Since they were out here, might as well turn Potter into a mule for tonight. Unfortunately, not literally.

The trek through the forest was quiet. He followed through the familiar path, having routinely harvested the same plants to not be bothered by the lack of light. Any kind of light exposure would destroy the plants and it would only last for one week once taken from the earth.

He wondered if he could just magically grow them in his dungeons. No, the magical properties would not be the same.

They were almost to their destination when he heard a loud hiss and a soft cry. Turning around, he quickly casted lumos.

And stared into the eyes of a six foot large brown snake with black markings on its head.

A Inland Taipan.

Commonly known as the Fierce.

Whose poison can kill one hundred adult men with one bite.

That just bit Potter, who was on the ground and rubbing his hand over the wound on his calf, but otherwise appeared fine.

There was something very wrong about this picture.

He was startled when the snake reared back to attack him but heard another hiss. This time from the brat.

Slowly, the fierce snake backed away and wrapped itself into a coil in front of Potter. They exchanged a few hisses, disturbingly enough, especially when the boy turned to look at him and laughed.

The snake and the boy just shared a joke about him.

Joy. His life's goal has been achieved.

The hissing finally stopped and Potter turned towards him.

"Are you alright, professor?" he asked. There was still something wrong with this picture.

"Isn't that something I should be asking you? After all, you were just bitten by the most venomous snake of the non-magical. You should be dead," he drawled. Trying to act like his usual self was better than going into shock. There was no way he was going to embarrass himself in front of the boy.

"I'm fine. It was just a sting. Besides, it was my fault since I nearly stepped into hiss nest. I shouldn't have gone off the path so far." He let the information slowly register into his brain. Just a sting...

"Potter, clarify how a highly venomous snake bite may be just a sting to you."

"Well, hiss said that I must be immune. She did smell a hint of snake in me."

"Unless you're an illegal snake animagus or eat snake meat on a regular basis, I doubt there's any other way for you to smell like... snakes." The boy muttered something underneath his breath.

"Louder, Potter."

"Well... You see... There was..." He hated stuttering. He got enough of it from Longbottom as it was.

"Just spit it out!"

"Second Year. Chamber of Secrets. Basilisk venom bite." The brat will be the death of me. Being exposed to the most poisonous magical venom would make any other venom seem insignificant, if any person can survive the stronger venom first. But most don't. He shouldn't have.

"Then clarify how the Basilisk venom didn't kill you then."

"Fawkes. Phoenix tears." The brat definitely will be the death of me. The rumors were true then. A twelve-year-old schoolboy battled against a thousand-year-old magical snake with nothing but an old sword and battered hat. Oh, and a phoenix.

Merlin, only the Boy-Who-Lived could actually stay alive in such a disadvantageous position.

"Potter, just one more thing."

"Yes, sir?" Damn, he was petting the snake now.

"What is a Central Australian snake doing in northern Scotland?"

"Oh, she escaped from the zoo, of course."

"Of course," he drawled out again.

Forget about harvesting any plants. He needed his Firewhiskey. Now.

Note: After I posted this, I was tempted to write the sequel right away, but the need for sleep took over. After I woke up, any further writing made no sense. It wasn't humor, but rather, inane babbling expanding over subplots that had absolutely nothing to do with blood. In fact, there was a draft involving Life Debts before I deleted it.

Anyway... SEQUEL: TOXIN is now available at a store near you.