This is my first Bones fanfic. The story has been spooking around in my head for quite a while now and I just had to get it out :)
Disclaimer: Of course I do not own Bones, or have you ever noticed a German name in the opening credits?
Things she needs to realize
The day after Christmas break was quiet in the Jeffersonian Institute. People still seemed to be in a holiday mood while a group of men started taking down the lights and other decoration. While Zack and Hodgins had decided to race beetles due to a lack of work, Angela was in her usual cheerful mood when entering Brennan's office.
„Hey, Ange. How was your late Christmas with your dad?"
"It was good! We had fun, talking and all… It's always great to get to spend some quality time with him." Angela looked around the office before sitting down and letting her eyes fall on her friend's face. She noticed Brennan was staring off into the distance without really focusing on anything but working her left thumb nail with the right one.
"Working on the next chapter?"
"What?" Still staring.
"You're having that look on your face. The one you always have when you're trying to think of the perfect sentence to start the next scene with." Nope, not working.
"Honey?" Angela was now searching Brennan's eyes. There was a long pause. She was about to speak but was interrupted before she could actually say something.
"That night when you all left to have Christmas with your family, I… I came back here. It took me a while and I was almost convinced that it had been a stupid idea in the first place and decided to leave again… But then I thought… You know, why not, right?"
Angela was starting to become confused, the rational doctor who was sitting in front of her was sending mixed messages.
"I'd kept them in the cabinet over there," she said, finally moving her eyes away from the emptiness and a little backwards to the where she was pointing. Only shortly enough for Ange to not get her point.
"I opened them…" Things were slowly starting to dawn on the artist. "After two decades I finally made it. I sat down, I… I read the card and opened the presents. I-" She didn't finish. Instead she resumed the staring again.
" Your parents' Christmas presents."
Back to the thumb nail.
There was a long pause as Angela tried to think of something to say while Bones got lost in her own world of thoughts again. She shut down the world around her as she formed a question in her mind that she'd been wanting to ask her best friend for the longest time now. Did she really want to know though? Did she really care? Would it change anything for her? Would she change when she knew the answer?
She finally decided to give it a go when Angela tried again not expecting to be cut of in the middle. "What was in-"
„How do you do it?" Brennan now looked right at her for the first time during the until now one-sided conversation. Followed by a moment of silence.
„Just… live… like you do…" Angela shot her a funny look and although Brennan didn't know how to go into detail on her own inquiry she tried to explain.
"You… you know… you go out and have fun, meet guys, go out with them… and then you come to work Monday morning smiling and ready to face the events the new week might bring…" She paused as she started on the thumbnail again, her eyes following her fingers.
She finally made the effort to pull her hands apart when she subconsciously noticed that her finger was starting to bleed. Instead, she grabbed a pen and started drawing hurricane-shaped formations on her notepad.
"Booth always tells me I can't communicate with people. My patients are all way beyond not feeling good or consulting me for help. Not that I could give it to them since I'm not good with people anyways," she said before letting out a nervous laugh. She became serious again right after that. "I don't do anything else than work. I don't know any people except for you guys. I don't go out on Saturday nights. I do not even own a TV! I know I could just buy one, but would that really change anything?"
She looked at Angela wanting her to interrupt her own rambling but only received a puzzled look from her instead. Was she even making any sense?
"The presents made you think about that?"
"No," Bones said hesitating. "It wasn't just the presents. It's everything, every day. Sometimes I have good days and I tell myself 'This is it, you finally made it'. But it usually doesn't take long for me to notice that there should be a lot more to feeling good, being happy… living. And then I look at you and I ask myself 'How does she do it?'"
Brennan just looked at Angela, pleading and begging for help. Ange leaned forward and took her friend's hand in hers before she slowly started to speak.
"What about her?"
"Do you remember what you felt when you told her about your findings? The tickets to Paris? The penny worth $ 100.000? Did you feel proud? Did it make you feel good?"
Their eyes locked as Angela received a barely audible 'yes' for an answer.
"You made her Christmas special, Bren. For her and her granddaughter. She is never gonna forget that. You truly made her happy." She paused for a moment trying to phrase her next words very carefully.
"You don't need a TV or a club to go to on weekends. What you need is the feeling you had when Ivy Gillespie was sitting here in your office crying because you gave her back her life… But you need to realize that that is what you do every day, sweetie. You tell parents the truth about the death of their long lost child. You give long dead soldiers names and their families the chance to bury the remains of their grandpa in a peaceful place. Don't you think that's something?" There still wasn't any reaction of the anthropologist.
"Do you know what that means?... This is something that can make you happy. You just have to let it happen. That could be your reason to show up here every Monday morning smiling and ready to face the events the new week might bring. Just like me."
"I wanna have that, too."
"You can. You just have to realize what effect your work, your passion has on people. That will give you every reason to feel proud and – most of all – happy. It will give you the reason to start your day the way I start mine – happy and without worries… well, only a few anyways", she said as she smirked a little.
Brennan was starting to relax slightly and tilted her head when Angela continued. "You're not gonna change your way of reacting to others. That's just the way you are. But don't worry, you don't have to. What you do have to do is to stop worrying about it. Things are already fine."
She squeezed her friend's hand and was more than relieved to receive the slightest smile.
When no answer came Angela was starting to get worried again. She really needed Bones to give a sign of understanding – there was no way she could think of anything else to say. She never thought that Brennan felt so strongly about what Booth had said to her.
However, she was lucky. The scientist's smile widened considerably.
"I guess I should have asked you a long time ago…"
"You could have, Bren. Maybe it would have made things a little easier for you… Feeling better now?"
This time it didn't take her very long to give Angela a determined nod.
"Yes, a lot actually. Thanks, Ange. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Well, I'm right here with you. Gives you a reason to enter this lab every morning with a smile on your face, doesn't it?" she said as she stood, walked around the desk and padded her friend's shoulder. When her eyes fell on the computer screen she saw the cursor blinking impatiently waiting to finally start on the next chapter.
"Maybe you should try and write something a little less heavy on the science with a little more humour in it."
"Nah, I don't think I would be good at that," Bones said as she waved her friend off. "But I might as well include some more personal relationships in this one. I think I've learned a lot about that today…"
Wow, I hope this makes sense because it's well past 3 am by now... Please excuse any spelling and grammar mistakes :) If you want to complain about them just use the little review button below. Of course I'm even more happy if you use it only to review!! I would really appreciate that!