Genre: D. Gray-Man, Kanda x Allen, slight romance
Summary: Because Kanda knew he was more than worth it.
Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man and its characters do not belong to me
It wasn't because he was weak; he was more than physically able to protect himself despite his small size. It wasn't because he was young, or naïve. He was neither. The occasional curtain of shadows that darkened those clear orbs were evidence enough that he had seen more than his share of the ugliness in the world. It wasn't all that, but still, Kanda could not help but feel that protectiveness threaten to overwhelm him.
He wanted to protect him; not because he was weak or fragile or naïve or all that, but because he did not love himself enough, because he tended to do stupid things that risked his own wellbeing, putting others before himself, endangering himself – it was because of all those stupid acts that he was wont to do that made Kanda feel like holding him flush tight against his chest and never let that stupid idiot go.
Because that stupid idiot did not love himself enough to care about his own wellbeing, it was up to Kanda to do what he himself would not do. If he would not protect himself, then Kanda would protect him. If he was willing to sacrifice himself for the wellbeing, for the nonsensical emotional wishes of strangers, then it was up to Kanda to make sure that he would not end up dead at the end of it all. If he did not love himself enough to care, then it was up to Kanda to love him.
Because that stupid idiot was worth it, even if he thought himself unworthy to even love himself more. And because he was worth it, Kanda would watch over him – because he would not do so himself, and because Kanda knew, he knew, that he was much too precious to be lost over stupid ridiculous emotional ideals and wishes of insignificant strangers. Because he was precious, so Kanda would protect him.
He would protect him until that idiot got the idea to protect himself, to love himself. Kanda would protect him until he bloody learnt to love himself.
And he supposed, he probably would continue protecting him even after that idiot realized how precious he really was. After all, he was much too precious to Kanda for him to even let go, even after he understood how precious his stupid life was.
So he would hold the idiot when he bled for stupid insignificant strangers, and he would bandage him up and glare at him until he shut up and rest, and when he finally surrendered to the dark realm of unconsciousness, Kanda would smile and let out a sigh of relief before his tensed unforgiving face relaxed into something more gentle and tender. Then he would gather the idiot up into his arms and hold him in a firm embrace and thank the heavens that he managed to protect this idiot from certain death again; because this idiot was certainly more than worth it.