Author's Note: Hey again! This will be my second story posted in the OHSHC section and I hope it will be informative and entertaining to some people! This is a story making fun of the popular mary sues of OHSHC. It may offend some but I would like you to first research what a mary sue is (Or read "Public Service Announcement" in the OHSHC section). Then you can flame me. Although I will tell you that none of these will be making fun of specific stories, just the mary sues that are popular in this section. And with that noted, I will move on.
P.S.: I do not own OHSHC or anything related to it because if I did then… I guess I'd be pretty popular wouldn't I?
P.S.S.: Yes, I have been guilty of creating a gary sue myself but I hope I have gotten better at not doing it.
"Hey! It's LT8 here! Coming to you with another OHSHC fanfic! This one is about making fun of mary sues of OHSHC! Yes it's true. There are a ton of them. I'm almost scared of coming in the Ouran High fanfic section anymore because of them." She sighs. "Well, I guess it's time to introduce this chapter's co-hosts. Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin!" The camera swings to the side of her and the twins can be seen waving. "Now Hikaru and Kaoru…" LT8 begins. "This chapter makes fun of one of the most overused sue parodies that have to do with you two." The twins nod their heads.
"Unfortunately yes." Hikaru said, turning to look over at LT8. Kaoru did the same.
"It's one of the most annoying to us." Kaoru added, putting on his thinking face.
"Well, why don't you two say what it is?" LT8 asked them. She was spinning on her chair a little bit. The two nodded.
"It's… The Hitachiin triplet sue!" They announced together. LT8 shook her head. "We are TWINS. Meaning there is no other brother or sister that was born at the same time as us in the family! In fact, we don't even HAVE any younger or older siblings." They said. LT8 nodded her head.
"It's pretty sad that some people ignore science and put us into their crazed fantasy world." Hikaru said. He sighed and put an elbow on the… desk in front of them. They were apparently in a made-up newsroom. It had blue walls! And… oh wait, back to the point.
"I'm pretty sure this bothers you a little LT8, being a twin yourself." Kaoru added, nodding over to LT8. LT8 sighed.
"Unfortunately, I think it bothers me more than it should. Yes, I may be a twin myself but that doesn't mean that it's just because of that fact that this mary sue bothers me. It's the fact that people IGNORE ALL LOGIC when it comes to this mary sue." The twins nodded their heads, waiting for her to continue. She sighed. "Yes, they can always say 'they were separated at birth' or some crap like that but the 'triplet' is still, almost always, a girl. Technically then, you two," She nodded over to the two red-heads. "You guys would not be identical twins." The two nodded once again.
"And as for the demonstration of this sue…" Hikaru began.
"We have used another girl who goes to Ouran to act like our 'triplet'. The other hosts will be there as well." Kaoru ended.
"Okay, with that, let's go over to our make-up stage shall we?" LT8 asks while getting up and going to the side where there is a small stage that looks like part of the 3rd music room, including the main doorway. Honey and Tamaki wave at the camera. Kyouya is taking notes as usual, Haruhi looks like she doesn't want to be there, and Mori is watching his cousin. The twins come walking over. LT8 addresses the group.
"As you have hopefully been informed, you are going to do a little skit that makes fun of the 'Hitachiin Triplet' mary sue." The hosts nodded in understanding. A random Ouran girl in a uniform walks up to them. LT8 gestures to her. "This is the girl who will be playing the 'triplet'. I'm going to give her some random American name." The girl nods her head. "You ready?" LT8 asks the hosts. They nod their heads yes once more. LT8 turns to the girl. "Are you ready… person?" LT8 asks her.
"Hey I have a-" She begins. LT8 put up her hand.
"Don't know it, don't care. Ready? Annnnddd… ACTION!" LT8 yells while diving off the screen.
"It was another planning day for the Host Club and everyone was doing their usual thing." LT8 narrated. "Honey was gorging himself on cakes, Mori watching him silently, making sure he wouldn't have another cavity, Haruhi was trying to do her homework, Kyouya was… writing down whatever he does in that notebook…" Kyouya glares at the spot where LT8 is sitting with a microphone and glares at her. She shrinks back a little. "When you meet him in person he is so much more intimidating. I still can't believe he is my favorite host." LT8 tried to whisper to herself. Unfortunately Kyouya heard her and gave her the look that said we-are-going-to-talk-after-this-and-you-wuill-be-in-much-pain-afterwards. LT8 gulped and continued the narration.
"And of course, the twins were currently laughing their heads off after, once again, sending Tamaki into his currently-being-copyrighted corner of woe. Just then, the all heard a slight creak coming from where the door was. Kyouya made a mental note to tell the school about the creaking. A girl with brown hair and golden eyes, much like the twins, stepped shyly into the room." LT8 continued. Luckily the girl was not allergic to the colored lenses that they had given her to cover her brown eyes.
"I'm sorry, but customers are not allowed in today. You will have to wait until the next meeting." Kyouya stated to the girl, pushing up his glasses at the same time in a cool manner. The girl scoffed.
"As if I would come here to be hosted!" She said haughtily. Tamaki wailed and went back to his corner of woe, coming out of it when the door opened, and the twins laughed a little more. Haruhi shook her head.
"And who might you be?" Haruhi asked the girl. Said girl turned to face the rest of the hosts.
"I'm Suzy Fitzgerald." She said, smiling and closing her eyes like she had just dissed the whole host club and was gloating about it. When no one did anything, she opened her eyes again. "I'm Hikaru's and Kaoru's triplet." She said, a little pissed that no one was gawking over her beauty.
"Um… excuse me but…" Hikaru said in a questioning tone.
"How can you be our triplet?" Kaoru asked. The girl smiled a bit more, trying to get one of the other host's attentions by fluttering her eyebrows.
"Well, your mother didn't want a girl so when I was born after you two, they sent me to an adoptive family in America where I grew up. Of course they told me all about you guys so when I learned that you were here at Ouran I figured I'd come visit and transfer in. They said I was the most beautiful girl in middle school in America." She said, sighing happily. Tamaki, who had come back to listen, decided to speak up.
"That is the worst excuse for acting like you are a triplet to the two incarnations of the devil. Even I'M not stupid enough to believe that." Tamaki said, crossing his arms. The other hosts looked at him like a miracle had just happened, which it probably did. Tamaki, admitting his own faults? Now that was a reason to conclude that today was the day of the apocalypse. Hikaru ran over to the window to make sure it wasn't raining fire and brimstone. When he saw that it wasn't, he let out a sigh of relief and headed back to the group. Tamaki almost glared at them. They turned back to the girl who looked like she was about to cry a river or explode like a volcanoe.
"But! But! I AM their triplet!" She sobbed. The twins looked at her like she was crazy.
"You do realize that we have red hair right?" They asked her at the same time. "There is no way that you could be our triplet. Despite the fact that it defies logic, our mother one time said she would like to have a girl." They finished. The tears didn't stop for the girl. She looked to see if any of them looked like they felt sorry for her.
"Why don't any of you feel sorry for me?!? My brother's won't accept me and I'm beautiful!" She sobbed some more. This time honey decided to speak.
"It's because you are not related to them and you can't just come in here expecting one of us to instantly fall in love with you, ne Takashi?" Honey asked, looking over to his silent cousin. Mori nodded yes. Kyouya pushed up his glasses once again and they gleamed knowingly in the sunlight.
"And I suppose that you already know Haruhi is a girl." He said. The girl looked up at him, with her tear stained face and slowly nodded a yes. Haruhi looked startled but Kyouya continued on calmly. "I hope you do realize that I had researched about Haruhi and that is the only reason I knew she was a girl right away." Haruhi sighed. Of course the Shadow King had done that. It would be weird if he hadn't.
"Well, we need to plan for the next meeting everyone." Tamaki said, turning around. The other hosts started to go with him.
"Wait!" Yelled the girl. Only Haruhi and Tamaki stopped and turned around. "Aren't you supposed to let me work in the host club as a hostess or disguise me so that I look like a boy also?" She asked, hope gleaming in her tear filled eyes.
"Nope." Tamaki said. And with that, he and Haruhi went to the table where the other hosts sat. For the rest of the time, Everyone ignored the girl who was a crumpled up, whimpering ball on the floor. Even past club meeting time they ignored her as they walked out. It was only until the janitor came that night and, upon seeing the girl on the floor, put her where she was supposed to be. In the trash.
"Wow! You guys did great!" LT8 said as the group walked off the set. "Come back for the next chapter!" She said. But as she was about to turn to leave, Kyouya suddenly came up next to her.
"Now… about that talk." He said, smiling. LT8 gulped.
Well, that was that chapter! Read it, review, give me some suggestions on mary sues you would like to see made fun of!
Well, let's hope I survive to the next chapter!