A/N: This just came to me out of the blue… I have no idea what this is (sound familiar?) or what the hell I was thinking (coughONcough) that made me write this… But I suppose it's a little funny… Hopefully…

It's definitely short and has no plot at all, so if you're reading and are like, "What the hell? What's the plot?!" that's just the thing: THERE ISN'T ONE! lol But I hope you enjoy it all the same…


Well… That was hot.

As told by Hermione Granger

I wonder where Harry got off to. He's always disappearing these days; it's like he's avoiding Ron and I. But I try not to let it get to me. I'll check random, empty classrooms. He likes to hide out a lot in them. He reminds me of a cat, really.

Hmm… I heard some strange noises coming from one of those doors over there. Now, if I hadn't been Head Girl, I would have just waved it off as Peeves causing trouble again, but I sensed something was wrong. It sounded like two people were in there.

I walked closer to the door, careful to muffle my footsteps as much as possible. I pressed my ear to the door and what I heard shocked me.

"Oh… Oh, Harry! Nygh, Harry you're so… so… tight!"

It sounded like a male voice, and my blush turned even redder. I nearly gasped at the next thing that was said… er, screamed.

"Dracoooooo! Oh, right there, Draco! Faster! Harder!"

I paled and stepped back from the door, shaking my head in disbelief.

"No. No, this can't be happening… Not Harry!" I whispered frantically, burying my face in my hands. I shouted into them before turning and walked off briskly.

So that's where he's been all those times he's disappeared…?


"Ron, have you seen Harry today?" I asked, setting my quill down on the table. We were in the Gryffindor common room working on our Potions homework… Well, I was; Ron was playing Wizard's Chess against himself. Honestly, boys are so weird.

He grunted and did a small shake of his head. Or at least, that's what I made of it; really it looked like he was shaking his head no while at the same time cocking it to the side as if confused.

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself from my chair. "I'm going to go search for him; he really needs to work on his homework if he wants to pass Potions this year."

Ron grunted again and shrugged his shoulders. I rolled my eyes again and left the common room, but not before hearing, "Shite!" and the clamor of a Wizard's Chess piece.

I walked through the halls of Hogwarts on a mission, but having no idea where I was really headed to. I should have grabbed Harry's map, as that would have been helpful in showing not only where I was, but where Harry was as well.

Then I heard it: the moans. Coming from the same room, I walked over and pressed my ear to the door again.

"Oh, Draco! Don't stop!"

I very nearly gagged at that point. My hand reflexively grasped the doorknob and turned, not realizing what I was doing until I was standing with the door wide open. The scene was horrible…

Horribly hot.

Oh, Merlin's pants was it hot! Harry was knelt down on a desk, propped up by his elbows. Malfoy was kneeling behind him, the lower part of his body rammed up Harry's backside; he had a vice grip on Harry's hips as he pounded into him.

I turned around to see if anyone else was coming and, seeing nobody, I closed the door silently and sat down in a nearby corner. It was a good thing they had their backs to the door, or they would have seen me come in, and that would not have been good. Not only would they be embarrassed, I'd be embarrassed at getting caught watching.

I rested the back of my chair against the wall, sliding over some to get a better view; I was confident that I was in the shadows and would not be seen, therefore moving around a little. I saw Malfoy thrusting into Harry so violently that the table was sliding across the stone floor; I also saw a little trickle of blood making its way down the back of Harry's leg.

"Oh! Oh, Harry you're so tight!"

Is that all Malfoy can say, I mean really? I thought this boy was smart, but his vocabulary's about as good as a parrot's.

Minutes later Malfoy removed one of his hands off of Harry's hips and I could see the welts left there by the strong hands. He moved it down and around Harry's side, grasping his weeping erection that was left abandoned beneath him. Harry moaned and bucked his hips into Malfoy's hand, urging him to go faster.

I had to shift in my seat; I was highly aroused at this sight. I could feel my – dare I say it – nipples getting hard and a little… moisture elsewhere.

Harry screamed Malfoy's first name and shot his semen all over the table and Malfoy's hand; he shuddered with the force of it. Malfoy wasn't long behind Harry as he thrust three more times and screamed Harry's name, shooting his own into Harry's backside. He pulled out and lay on the table next to Harry, curling hair around his finger.

He leaned in and kissed Harry softly, whispering something against his lips. I heard Harry's reply of, "I love you, too, Draco."

I gasped out loud, forgetting that I was supposed to be hidden; they shot up, looking over to where I was sitting. "Who's there?!" Draco demanded, brandishing his wand… er, the magic one.

"Show yourself!" Harry yelled as well, grabbing his own.

I sighed, figuring that it was best I show myself as Harry ordered; I didn't want to get hexed into oblivion, after all. I got up and stepped out of the shadows.

Harry gasped and tried to cover himself up. "H-Hermione?!"

Draco merely nodded, saying, "Granger."

I nodded back and we sat in an awkward silence for a while until I broke it by saying, "Well… That was hot."

Harry blushed madly and Malfoy actually laughed. "Glad you think so, Granger," he said, getting up and cleaning himself off. He got dressed and then cleaned Harry off, throwing him his clothes.

"How did you know we were in here?" he wondered, pulling his boxers on.

"I guess you guys have never heard of a Silencing Spell then?" I queried, raising my eyebrows. Malfoy choked and Harry looked mortified.

"What?!" Harry whipped around to stare at Malfoy. "I thought you put one up?!"

"I thought I did, too!"

"Well, it could have been worse… Ron could have heard you guys and walked in on you," I supplied, trying to be helpful.

Harry groaned. "I suppose…"

"So how long has this been going on, Harry?" He looked at the floor and whispered something I couldn't quite catch. "Sorry? Can you repeat that?"

"A year…"

"Why, that's great!" I clapped happily. "I'll have to visit you more often!"

"WHAT?!" both of them shouted, looking at each other and then back at me.

"Yeah, I'll have to remember Colin's camera next time, too…" I thought aloud, tapping a finger against my chin.

"NO!" Harry screamed.

"Relax, Harry; I wouldn't humiliate you like that… But you have to let me watch again."

He groaned, knowing he had lost this battle. "Fine," he replied through gritted teeth.

"Excellent." And I left the room, the two boys behind me gaping at my retreating form. I laughed all the way up to the Gryffindor common room.

I said good-night to Ron and went upstairs to the girls' dormitory, getting ready for bed. As I slipped into my new sheets, I smiled to myself, remembering the scene I walked in on. "Well… That was hot."


A/N: Totally weird, I have no idea what I was thinking… lol I thought it was at least slightly funny… All characters (with the probable exception of Harry, I think) were so OOC. I liked it a lot. I just had this idea and it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it out. And it's short, but I don't care. lol

Oh, and I've also got another one shot going… A Draco/Hermione one; it should be cool. It will be rated M because of some sex, but I sure as hell am not writing that scene… My friend Starthehedgecat will be taking care of that… When I get it typed up… I've got seven pages written… lol

Anyway, reviews would be nice. Thanks in advance! Oh, and don't forget to check out the other story Starthehedgecat and I are doing a collaboration on: Transferred! It's a trilogy: General POV on WeBeOSM, Sylvia's POV on Starthehedgecat, and Amy's (my) POV on AmyCoolz. lol It really is a riot.

-AmyCoolz