"She turned me down again."
There was a collective groan from Sirius and Peter, but Remus shut his book with a sigh, sending a slightly sympathetic look towards James.
"Oh," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."
"I just don't know what I'm doing wrong!" James yelled exasperatedly, flinging his tie onto the sheets of his bed, Remus ducking quickly as the gold and red article flew at him with amazing force.
Sirius pulled Remus slightly away from James, who was still throwing random pieces of clothing at his bed to live out his frustration. A shoe whizzed past the young werewolf's head, and Remus felt a hand clasp firmly on his wrist and pull him towards the safety of Sirius.
"Easy, Prongs." Sirius said shakily, as James cursed loudly.
"With my luck, Lily will just marry Frank Longbottom or someone and I'll be an old crazy man with snakes or–"
"Lily isn't dating Frank," Remus cut in, his eyebrows furrowed in contemplation. He earned himself a look from both Sirius and James, reading nothing but shut up, Remus, but he didn't. "Frank is dating Alice."
James rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Remus, you simply must correct every single thing that I say that isn't right… so it's not only grammar you're correcting, now, is it? Yippee…"
"Come on, James, don't be such a wanker, we're only trying to help."
"Oh really? Because I don't remember you helping when I was down there trying to get a date with Evans by serenading her." James said sardonically.
Remus looked at Sirius for help pleadingly. Sirius sighed, standing up.
"Look, mate, can we… do anything now?" He offered lamely. James shook his head.
"No. I… I think I'm going to… take a walk." He muttered, and Sirius sighed again.
"Damn," he said with a hiss. "Does Evans know what she does to James?"
"Probably not." Peter said.
"You're damn right, probably not. I think we need to do something." Sirius said firmly.
"We?" Remus asked as he reached for his book under his bed.
"Definitely we," Sirius said determinedly. "All of us are going to help James by enlightening Evans of the misery she brings upon the world."
"The world? When did James become the world?"
"Shush, Peter." Sirius snapped, but Remus interfered.
"Don't tell that to James. He has had enough inflating in that head of his egotistically." The werewolf said with a smile.
"Come on now! We need brain power!"
"Well… Remus has plenty of that." Peter offered meekly. Remus sent them an apologetic look over his newly extracted book.
"I would share it to you, but I don't know what you'd do with it. Better keep it in good hands." He joked with a smirk. Sirius groaned, striding forward and ripping the book out of his friend's fingers.
"No reading now," he told him sternly, dragging Remus back to the floor. "We need to think. Something that would… bring their relationship up to the zenith degree, or something."
"They don't have a relationship."
"Then they will."
Sirius sprang out from behind the suit of armor he was concealing himself behind, blocking the path for a certain redheaded Gryffindor.
"Evans." He greeted non-too-politely.
Lily made a face, staggering slightly as she stopped in front of the black-haired boy. She wrinkled her nose as though she was staring at a bottle of expired milk or a particularly nasty disease.
"Black," she responded icily. "What do you want?"
"Nothing. I actually want to give you something." Sirius said.
"No thank you. I'm quite fine." Lily declined automatically, trying to squeeze between Sirius' arms, but he blocked her way again.
"Wait a moment!" he demanded. "It's about James."
Lily snorted, rolling her eyes. "Did Potter send you up here to talk to me?"
"Is this a date setup that he was too afraid to do and asked you to ask me?" Lily asked suspiciously. Sirius shook his head hastily. If he was going to persuade this girl, he better keep her attention.
"No, nothing like that. I came up here to convince you to be with him."
"And why would I do a thing like that?"
"Why wouldn't you?" Sirius challenged, cocking an eyebrow.
"Let's see," Lily said with pursed lips, counting on her fingers impatiently. "He's rude, obnoxious, overly selfish and egotistical, and both of you have an unpleasant knack for wreaking havoc." She shot Sirius a disapproving look.
Sirius brushed away the reasons hurriedly. "Okay, fine, ignore those. He really, really likes you. For some… odd, and horribly twisted reason. But he does. And you are constantly throwing his heart into last evening's pudding." He told her angrily, crossing his arms.
"As delightful as that sounds," Lily said. "No thank you, Black. He will get over his little fixation."
"It's not a fixation!" Sirius yelled desperately, blocking her way again. "He says he loves you."
Lily snorted again. "Please," she admonished, trying to push the stubborn black-haired boy out of the way. "He has been saying that to me for years, why should I believe him now?"
"Because," Sirius started helplessly, his eyes pleading. "He's matured. He really has – you have to give him a try. Please, Evans."
Lily finally succeeded in shoving Sirius away, giving him a glowering glare.
"Stop wasting my time, Black."
"So James," Remus said casually, leaning against the wall.
"I want to help you out with Lily."
James looked at him curiously, before grinning slightly. "Help me…?"
Remus nodded, fidgeting with his hands nervously behind his back. "I've spent some time with her in the library before, and I think I could help your… techniques. I'm not a flirt, but I know how to charm Lily."
James was sitting in front of him expectantly before Remus could blink, his smile as wide as his ears.
"Okay!" he agreed eagerly.
"Well," Remus said, watching James anxiously rake down his hair. "Don't play with your hair, for a start." He told him sternly. James' hand twitched towards the black mess, but refrained from touching it.
"That… could work. But getting it to lay flat won't."
"I'm not asking it to lay flat," said Remus. He had tried to smooth down his friend's hair before, and quite fruitlessly too. "Let's move on. Lily likes people who study, not randomly take tests without being prepared."
James was swallowing down a groan, but his face did wrinkle up unpleasantly. "Becoming a geek is part of this too?"
Remus shot his friend a look. "Just because you'd be studying – where she is – doesn't mean you'd become a geek. Honestly, James!" he tilted his head strictly at James. "Next. Don't call Lily Evans in front of her. Be polite and confident – while not being overly eager."
"Hmm… so just like you and Sirius seem to act around each other?"
Remus went a brilliant shade of crimson and didn't meet James' eyes. "That's wrong, James." He muttered.
James rolled his eyes. "You're the one who does it."
But he wasn't able to add any more to his statement, as Remus hit him over the head with a pillow.
"What did she say?" Remus whispered to Sirius in a hushed tone as they met up after separate classes.
James raised an eyebrow at the two, who were hissing responses in quiet voices to each other. Remus jerked farther away from Sirius when he saw James' eyes on him, and instead pulled Sirius into an unused classroom.
"Evans is stubborn." Sirius said immediately as they entered the classroom.
"Did she… completely reject it?"
Sirius contemplated it. "You… you could say that," he said. "I told her that James was in love with her and that she should give him a chance, and she told me that I was wasting her time! Can you believe it, Moony? A girl tell me that I'm wasting her time."
Remus laughed. "That's new," he switched the subject. "James… seemed to listen to me. But he did bring up some rather inappropriate statements–" He stopped himself shortly, trying to switch the subject automatically, but Sirius had gotten intrigued.
"What did he say? It had nothing to do with Evans, did it?"
Remus rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "No, no it didn't… it doesn't matter. But I don't think that you talking to Lily helped much. How about we switch? You talk to James, I talk to Lily."
Sirius sighed, but nodded. "All right. God, I hate women."
"Some would tell you to switch to men." Remus joked, but Sirius didn't laugh back at him, instead their eyes met awkwardly in the silence.
"Well." Remus snapped, playing with the handle of his bag before striding quickly towards the door.
"We should get going, then." Sirius said uncomfortably, charging out the open door that Remus was holding for him.
"Hello Lily!" Remus said kindly, approaching a redheaded figure that was sitting in a secluded corner of the library behind a musty book.
Green eyes moved over the pages sharply, and upon spotting Remus, she smiled and closed the book with her finger bookmarking the page.
"Remus!" she greeted. "You will not believe what happened to me today."
Remus raised his eyebrows expectantly at her. "Hmm?"
"Black came up to me in the corridors and tried to persuade me to give Potter a chance." She rolled her eyes high towards the ceiling and tutted.
Remus' smile faltered slightly as he took the seat across from her.
"That is funny," he mumbled. "Because I'm going to try to do the same thing."
Lily's grin left her face immediately, replaced by a blankness and rapid blinking of the redheaded girl. "E…Excuse me?" She asked disbelievingly.
"Terribly sorry to use your time like this," Remus apologized hurriedly, sliding his bag off of his shoulder as he took a seat. "But I really think you should listen."
Something inside Lily's emerald eyes flashed dangerously. "What?"
"I know that you currently think that James is loud and egotistical and a big trouble maker–"
"Just to name a few!" Lily ejaculated, her nostrils flaring. Remus put a hand on her shoulder to calm her.
"He's not that bad," he said earnestly. "He really does love you, Lily, and I think that he would do a lot for you. He's willing to do anything for you right now – you're like a goddess to him."
"No!" she said furiously, standing up from her hair. "No, I will not tolerate this! Potter is unmannered and rude and too confident for his own good!"
"And I will never date him! Not over my own dead body, Remus!" And she 'hmphed' indignantly before stomping out of the library firmly with her hair flying behind her.
Remus sighed, his head hitting the wood of the table in front of him. There was a warm hand on his shoulder, making the werewolf look up suddenly to the pale face of Sirius.
"Padfoot," he said half-heartedly, his head on the desk again. "She is utterly hopeless."
"Yeah?" Sirius said sympathetically, rubbing his friend's shoulder comfortingly. "James isn't."
Remus raised his head from the desk again, leaning back in his chair to stare at Sirius. "What happened?"
"I talked. He listened. Now he knows how to attract every women in the world," Sirius wasn't looking content, though. "Except Evans."
Remus groaned again. "Why teach him things he doesn't need to now? He only wants Lily, the stubborn bastard."
Sirius laughed, nodding through the chuckles. "I know that. But it least proves that he isn't hopeless."
"It's time for some relationship improvement."
James watched as Remus leant over to Sirius and muttered something into his ear. Sirius smirked smugly – something that was never a good sign.
"–Now, you won't choose your potion partners, I will." Slughorn concluded on his speech, and Remus and Sirius gave each other a knowing smile. James didn't like that either.
"Ah… let's see. Mr. Snape with Mr. Malfoy, please… and Mr. Lupin with Mr. Black, please… hmm…"
Remus and Sirius both made obvious gestures to their Professor, pointing to James and Lily and intertwining their pointing fingers. The teacher got the point, grinning widely.
"And how about Ms. Evans with Mr. Potter? Excellent."
Sirius danced a little in his chair, Remus mimicking him, making James send them a disbelieving look that neither one noticed. Lily growled angrily from a seat next to him.
"Okay, now," Remus said quietly to Sirius. "When I… erm… um, touch your arm, throw the dungbombs at James and Lily."
Sirius stirred the cauldron in front of them idly, stoking the flames. "No, if you touch my arm it'll be too obvious. Do something under the table. Like – nudge my knee, would you?"
Remus flushed at the comment, something that Sirius hadn't registered into his mind until later – so both of them were scarlet in the face thirty seconds later.
"Do it now!" Remus hissed, nudging his knee with the least contact he could ensue; his thumb poking his knee bone.
Sirius promptly threw two about-to-explode dungbombs into the innocent hands of Lily and James, making a sudden bang in the silence of the Potions Dungeon. A large cloud surrounded the two as several girls screamed at the sound of the explosions.
When the puff (and smell) had dispersed slightly, the two were found shockingly holding two deflated and limp dungbombs in their fingers. Slughorn rounded on the two.
"Mr. Potter! Ms. Evans, I expected better of you! Detention for both of you, tonight at seven!"
Remus and Sirius both squealed in silent delight to each other, grinning broadly with lots of teeth, even though Lily was glaring in their direction.
Not a pretty sight.
"How do I look?"
"For what?" Remus asked from his bed airily.
"For my detention with Lily." James said loudly, as though it was obvious.
"Oh…" Remus said in realization with a large and growing smile. "Obviously dashing, James. Why don't you ask Sirius?"
James smiled cheekily and called Sirius up the stairs, Peter trailing behind him curiously.
"How do I look for my detention with Evans?"
Sirius touched his heart. "Oh my. Your first date. Our little Prongs is growing up. Lovely choice of shirt, James. It's up to the zenith degree." He bounced onto the bed with Remus, giving him another knowing smile.
"I don't get it," said Peter from the staircase. "I thought it was a detention, not a date."
"Use your imagination, Wormtail," Sirius instructed him. "There will, after all, be dark dungeons, a horny James, Evans, and quills for writing lines even though they will be used for other purposes such as writing sentimental love letters. The possibilities are endless."
Peter nodded, even though he still looked confused.
At seven o'clock sharp, James rushed down the stairs nervously, while Sirius and Remus collapsed into a fit of giggles as they remembered the ballroom attire James had left the dormitory with.
"Dress robes, Potter?" Lily snapped when James rushed through the door of Slughorn's office. "Are you bloody kidding me."
James flashed her a suave smile before slipping off his coat in an unreasonably slow and drawn out manner, until he shook it off with a seductive look at Lily.
"Are you stripping, Potter?" she asked disbelievingly, causing James to blush and hastily conceal his flushing by pretending to look for something in his discarded coat pocket.
"I would never strip in front of you, Lily, I am much more proper than that." He said politely, taking a seat beside her.
She sighed. "Oh god. Remus talked to you, didn't he?"
James dropped his poise for a moment, but tried to look innocent. "What makes you think that, dear?"
"Because it's obvio – did you just call me dear?" She asked amazingly.
"Yes I did. Do you like it?" he asked her hopefully. "I'm trying out terms of endearment for us. Nicknames, if you will. I think we should have them."
"I don't." Lily said, snorting. James was too much in wonder in how she made snorting so positively sexy to reply.
Peter followed Professor Slughorn dutifully just like he was instructed to do by Sirius and Remus, making sure to not sneeze at the wrong times or make any squeaky noises from his shoes when he lagged behind the Professor silently.
Just when the Potions teacher was about to descend down the stairs to the dungeons, Peter took his cue and yelled out loudly:
"Professor Slughorn, sir!"
The teacher turned around, smiling at Peter.
"Ah, Mr. Pettigrew, my dear boy. What troubles you? I am sort of in a hurry, I have a detention to get to."
"I didn't know Professors got detentions, sir." Peter responded, and instead of getting a blank look from Slughorn, he boomed out a loud laugh and threw his head back.
"My my, Mr. Pettigrew. I haven't heard such an original joke since last year, my boy! I swear, you will become a comedian for the Leaky Cauldron when you grow up." Slughorn told him in between snickers.
"Thank you, Professor Slughorn. I was just about to take a visit to the library to study up on Potions. Would you like to join me? You are, after all, the Potions Master…"
Slughorn chuckled again, and patted Peter on the back humbly. "Why not, my boy, why not… I have not had a conversation with Madame Pince in a terribly long time, and I am sure we could reminisce lots… come then, Mr. Pettigrew…"
And they chuckled off to the library with occasional booms of laughter from Slughorn.
Remus and Sirius, meanwhile pressed their ears against the rough wood of the nearest janitorial closet.
"I… I think they're gone." Remus whispered to Sirius, who was pressed up against the werewolf's leg to try to listen through the keyhole.
"I don't hear Slughorn anymore." Sirius agreed, and they slowly peered through the door crack.
They staggered out of the closet, reveling in the ability to move their previously squished limbs freely, before rushing down the dungeons towards the Potions classroom.
"Where is Slughorn?!" Lily snapped impatiently, stomping over to the door and peering out, scowling to find only an empty corridor. She groaned audibly. "He's late."
"The better for us, Lily…" James said suggestively as Lily strode back over to the chair and threw herself into it frustratingly.
"The better for you, Potter," she snarled. "I'm sure you're having the time of your life here, just because you're sitting next to me in that bowtie and those expensive trousers, but let me clear something up for you," Lily whirled on him dangerously. "This is not a date. It is detention."
James smiled weakly, shrinking slightly into his chair after she flared her nostrils at him.
"Is that clear?"
James held up a hand defenselessly. "Crystal."
"Good," she muttered, readjusting her robe neatly. "Now how about we just ignore each other?"
"Mmm… anything you say goes."
Lily looked at him oddly, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Really?" she asked. "I thought you would be fighting back."
James shrugged innocently. "Your presence is enough for me."
Lily gave him a suspicious look, before frowning at the wall in front of her fixedly. "Don't stare at me."
Remus and Sirius raced down the dungeons for the Potions classroom, skidding to a halt in front of the door. They pressed their ears against the door together.
The muffled voice of Lily came through the door irritably.
"Where is Slughorn?!" her stifled voice commanded, and when loud footsteps were heard, Sirius' eyes widened and he threw himself down into the shadows next to the door, pulling Remus with him by the hand.
Remus squealed loudly as he hit the floor, but was immediately quiet when Lily looked out the door in the corridors.
With a lurch in his stomach that he wasn't sure was pleasant or unpleasant, Remus realized that Sirius' fingers were on his knee, his other hand still grasping his hand firmly. Lily looked down at the shadows that they were concealing themselves in, and Remus felt Sirius grip his knee tighter, causing him to almost yelp out loud.
The door slammed shut again and Remus wriggled himself free from Sirius' grip, before pressed his ear to the door again.
"He's late." Lily voice rang through the door.
"The better for us, Lily…"
Both Remus and Sirius gaped at the door disbelievingly, before slapping their faces into their hands and shaking their heads.
"Dear God, James." said Sirius.
"The better for you, Potter." Lily said coldly.
"Oh no," Remus whispered, not bothering to listen to the rest of Lily's ranting speech through the door. "He's dying here."
"She just told him that it wasn't a date and that it was just detention." Sirius said, squinting, his ear still pressed against the door.
"Well," Remus admitted, shrugging. "It technically isn't. No Madame Puddifoot's teacups are in there."
Sirius shot Remus a look. "It's the principle that counts. They're both alone."
"So whenever someone is alone, it's a date?"
They both awkwardly looked around each other, as though trying to find another being around, but they were indeed alone in the dungeon.
"Back to the door!" Sirius called loudly after a few awkward silent seconds.
"I told you not to stare at me."
"I'm staring at my chair."
"No you were not!" Lily said indignantly. "I saw you looking!"
James rolled his eyes, slumping in his chair moodily.
"I can't believe Slughorn still isn't here." Lily murmured in the silence disbelievingly.
"Perhaps he… forgot."
The redhead shook her head. "Definitely not," she brushed off. "He probably got distracted by someone."
"Or perhaps he is simply pigging out in the kitchen at the moment." James offered with a familiar 'ah-ha!' glint in his eyes.
Lily looked at him stonily before letting out a single giggle. "That would be… inappropriate." She said with a smile.
"Hmm… so am I." James told her, his eyes smoldering.
"Is that a good thing?"
"I can't hear anything." Remus said quietly.
"She just told him to not stare at her, so obviously they're not going to be chatting." Sirius said, rolling his eyes.
"Shush," Remus growled at Sirius, leaning against the door again. "I think I hear something."
They both eagerly waited for more words from one of them at the door.
"I told you not to stare at me."
"Noo…" Sirius said, cursing under his breath. "She's trying to break him!"
"Probably not," Remus said dryly. "James probably did look at her."
"What is the crime in that!" Sirius cried out in indignation, turning to Remus. "Here, look, I'm looking at you now, do you feel ex-rayed?"
Remus furrowed his eyebrows. "Yes. And it is rather creepy."
Suddenly, a light laugh floated through the door, and Sirius' eyes widened in delight. "She laughed! She laughed, Remus!"
"That would be… inappropriate." Lily said through the door.
"Hmm… so am I."
"Erm… was that necessarily a good thing to say?" Remus asked Sirius perplexedly, and Sirius shrugged.
"I dunno. Evans likes weird things in her men."
"So… have you finished that Transfiguration essay yet?" James asked conversationally.
Lily was quiet before responding. "Yes."
"So… can you help you me with it?"
Lily stood up in exasperation, throwing up her hands. "Is that all you ever think about when you talk to me? Homework answers?"
"No!" James said hastily, his eyes wide. "I talk to you because you're… you."
Lily stood up and stared at James in the eyes suspiciously. "You can be," she paused for a moment, staring at the ceiling. "An excellent flirt. But not with me, Potter." She sat herself back into her chair.
"So if I asked you to come with me to the Three Broomsticks next weekend would you say yes?"
"All right," James said coolly. "It was worth a try…"
"So James," Sirius said with a smile when James traipsed up the dormitory stairs. "How did the detention go?"
"Awful," said James. "I'm not sure we got anywhere, and Slughorn didn't even show up."
"Hey, when there are no teachers and not even instructions, detentions can be fun." Sirius said with an encouraging smile.
"I'm just not sure it helped at all."
Sirius looked over at Remus discreetly, who nodded.
"I think it will." Sirius told him reassuringly.
"So what's the plan this time?" Peter asked at breakfast the next morning.
"The plan is that we make sure to stop Lily in the hallway and James too, with some… erm… adjustments to the corridors. And Sirius and I will hide in a closet to try to see what happens." Remus told him simply, ladling himself eggs.
"So what do I do?" asked Peter.
"You make sure no one else runs in on them."
Sirius checked his watch. "If we want to get the corridor to work, we should get going now, Moony."
"Mmhm," Remus agreed, abandoning his breakfast and running down the Great Hall with Sirius to another corridor.
"So," Sirius said, skidding to a halt in front of one of Hogwart's many dead ends. "How do we do this."
Remus got out his wand and waved it about the wall gently. "We experiment."
Lily walked innocently over to the next corridor, not aware of her footsteps as she examined her homework for Charms.
"Oh," she said, seeing that a dead end was in front of her, staring at her back blankly. "Well, don't just stare." She told the wall snappily, about to turn around, when she bumped smack-first into James.
"Potter." she said coldly, trying to move past him.
"Why what's this? Writing on the wall?"
Lily whirled around. As Head Girl and Prefect two years in a row, it was her duty to make sure that the Hogwarts' walls remained clean and without graffiti – whatever snotrag fourth year had thought that writing on the wall was 'cool' would pay for this.
"What?!" Lily demanded, outraged as her eyes fell upon the words on the wall. "Did you write this?" she hovered over James threateningly, who held up his hands defensively.
"No… But it is curious, isn't it? I wonder who wrote such a thing."
Lily's eyes narrowed.
"Black and Remus." she snarled.
"Excuse me?" James asked.
"Black and Remus!" Lily repeated loudly. "They've been trying to persuade me to – to date you! I am going to confront them right now."
"Wait, Lily." James called, pulling her back to the wall. "It says something different now."
From the words Lily and James Potter, it switched deftly to Love forever to the zenith degree! And then to James loves Lily more than he does Quidditch.
Lily tutted, waving her wand at the words. They did not vanish, nor did they even twitch.
"When you see Black and Remus, tell them that they should–"
"It must be truth ink," James told her. "That's why it's that funny color of red."
"Truth ink?" Lily repeated quizzically. "It tells the truth?"
"But… but that means…"
The two locked gazes, until Lily carefully smiled faintly and James smiled back hesitantly.
"She knew it was us." Sirius whispered in the closet, watching through the crack in the door.
"Obviously," Remus said. "We've been hinting things around her for days now."
"I suppose so." Sirius admitted, shrugging. He tried to wriggle around in the closet, as he was tightly pressed against cardboard boxes, mops, and last of all – Remus.
"Wait a moment, she's totally figured us out." Remus said, moaning, about to move out of the closet.
"Wait, Remus. Let James come to the rescue!" Sirius said, giving his hands firmly on Remus' shoulders so he wouldn't move.
"It must be truth ink." James said from outside, and Sirius 'yesssed' quietly with a toothy grin.
"Go on, James!" he whispered excitedly. "Kiss her already!"
"They're exchanging glances… good glances… oh, she's smiling at him!"
Sirius danced a little bit, or as much as he had room to do in the small closet.
Remus gaped smilingly out of the crack of the door. "I – oh my god, Sirius – she's leaning in! She's leaning in!"
"You're kidding." Sirius said loudly, pushing Remus over a bit to get a good look through the door as well.
They both cheered quietly when James' and Lily's lips met and she snaked her arms around his neck loosely.
With big smiles on their faces, Sirius and Remus both looked at each other through accomplished laughs.
When they realized that they were a lot closer than they should be.
Sirius' eyes snapped down to Remus' lips, which were parted slightly and almost expectant, before he looked back up again to his eyes – surprised and almost hopeful.
They both backed away before they knew what was happening, crashing into the boxes with large smashing noises.
James and Lily didn't seem to notice.
Remus and Sirius both got up breathlessly, ignoring each other's glances.
"Remus." Sirius said quietly.
"I think it's time we come out of the closet."
Remus ignored the multiple meanings of the phrase, hoping that Sirius simply leaving the closet, and opened the door. Light flooded into the small room, illuminating their faces.
"After you, Sirius."
"Isn't this wonderful?" James said giddily with an immovable grin in the common room. "Lily has agreed to go out with me!"
"If you don't stop smiling like that soon you're jaw will snap and stay like that forever." Sirius told him dully, falling into the couch.
"Come on, now, Sirius! Aren't you happy for your fellow marauder? You're the one who wanted to help me in the first place." James told him.
"I know," Sirius said. "But I'm just…" he sighed.
"Just what?" James persisted.
Sirius looked fixedly at the table before looking James in the eye earnestly. "I think it's time for me to come out of the closet."
James laughed loftily. "Sirius dear, you're not in the closet, you're in the common room."
"Honestly, James." Sirius said.
James raised an eyebrow. "You don't… like anyone in particular do you?"
"I'm not even sure yet."
"Yes, Sirius?" Remus responded from his bed, flipping the page of his book.
"What happened in the closet yesterday?" Sirius asked nervously.
"I don't know." He said bluntly.
"You're a bloke." Sirius stated, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"You're a bloke." Remus said back.
"You're my friend, too. You're a marauder."
"I know. You're my friend as well. You're my best friend." Remus told him, shrugging.
"I just know that… something happened." Sirius said, staring at his shoes.
"We really shouldn't be having this conversation on my bed."
Sirius stood up hurriedly from the sheets subconsciously, pulling Remus off of them too and running hastily to the common room with the werewolf following him.
"So… are we normal?" Sirius asked, wringing his hands.
"I don't think so." Remus murmured truthfully.
"It's just weird," he said. "You're not a girl. You're not even a fling."
"I should hope not," Remus said indignantly. "Look, Sirius. Just because I don't look like a girl or act like one doesn't mean that I'm not… able to love someone."
"Do you love someone, Moony?" Sirius asked interestedly.
"I… will be."
"Hmm? How do you know?"
"Because I'm already falling, Sirius." Remus said simply.
Sirius blinked rapidly. "Me?"
Remus nodded. "Sorry."
Sirius shook his head, gaping slightly. The next second something inside his brain clicked before it exploded, and he rushed forward to kiss Remus off of his feet and sweep him to the couch.
His arms were wrapped around the other boy before he could even register it in his mind, pressing their lips together and holding him tightly.
And it didn't feel as abnormal as he thought it would.
"You're a bloke," Sirius said when they broke apart. "And I kissed you."
"Yes you did. And I kissed back." Remus said.
"I think I liked kissing a bloke."
"I know I did."
And so just to make sure, Sirius kissed Remus again, and this time he knew that he enjoyed it. To the zenith degree.
"Ick, you two, get a room." James' voice wavered around them nearby, and Sirius turned to see him.
"Maybe you should leave us alone." Remus giggled next to him.
"Fine. Looks like you really did get out of the closet."
"To the zenith degree, James." Sirius called after him, before closing the distance between Remus and him again.