NEW STORY, NEW STORY!!
I hope you guys like this one, I love it.
Oh, and I'd like to introduce my completely awesome and very amazing new Beta-reader: amazingsensation
Everyone needs to give her a round of applause now
Haruno Sakura is a lot of things. Some of them bad and some of them good, but on top of that innumerable list, stands the thing she is most: smart. Haruno Sakura has, you see, an unbelievable amount of intelligence that has been with her even since a very young age.
Because of this, she strives to be perfect, to be faultless, to be truthfully able to tell someone "I have never told a lie" she wishes to make no mistakes. But alas, she is human. And every human has faults, every human lies and every human being makes mistakes.
Sasuke has, and will always be the only boy—man—in my heart and on my mind. To be completely fair, I really can't help it. I've just become so accustomed to loving Sasuke, it's hard to stop. It's near impossible to crash back to reality, reality, where my actual husband is blonde, blue-eyed and adorns three dark whiskers per cheek.
Reality, where Sasuke-kun rarely speaks to either of us (his best friends, dammit) and spends nearly all his time chidori-y-ing the forest to extinction.
Sasuke-kun was my entire life. Now I have to be in love with Naruto because he's the guy I married. (But really, Naruto-kun? It sounds nowhere near as cute as Sasuke-kun.)
I mean, I knew it would hurt. Him not being around, being without him, not being with him, but I didn't know how empty it would feel to have Sasuke in Sound, betraying Konoha, where I was. Without him my smile was always smaller and my heart was nowhere near as open.
So I turned to Naruto, the boy that so many years ago craved my attention, my very best friend and the man that held me through those sleepless nights.
I love Naruto. I doubt anyone could possibly love him the way I do. Naruto is wonderful and funny, he makes me smile, but not the way Sasuke-kun can.
Because you only see him as your best friend
A voice in the back of my mind nags, but I ignore it. Just like I have every hour since Naruto and I became a couple.
Really though, living with Naruto is much like a couple of years ago when Sasuke-kun, Naruto and I lived together (minus Sasuke, of course)
We eat for breakfast after curt 'good morning's, I leave a while later for work, Naruto for training or a short mission, we meet on occasion for lunch and come home dreadfully tired for dinner.
The only thing I really needed to get use to was the sleeping arrangements. Having Naruto on the same bed every night was often nerve wrecking.
Sometimes Naruto will still sleep on the couch in the living room, and the next morning, he'll explain with much shuffling of feet that that he went down to eat something, had a little too much and passed out on the sofa. A lie so obvious even he knows it, but I lecture him for a good three minutes before I cook something up. We eat in silence and ignore the two empty seats.
I know—and even he does—that if I were married to Sasuke, the chairs would be occupied by two bed-headed, dark-haired children, the third residing in my womb.
But Naruto and I don't have sex. (Hell, we hardly touch) I don't know his excuse, but for some reason I feel like I'm cheating on Sasuke-kun. I'm pretty sure Naruto feels guilty too, and I'm absolutely positive he misses his best friend.
I was never aware that simple jealously or competitiveness could screw up a friendship so bad. Especially a friendship like we had, one that even the greatest shinobi could not defeat.
The thing is, I think this entire problem (me being married to my blonde teammate instead of the dark-haired man of my many fantasies) could have been avoided if Naruto was not so utterly dense.
Hinata, you see, is now and will always be completely in love with my husband. (A fact I must respect, seeing as that kind of devotion has not been known since Sasuke and I) I'm pretty sure that if Naruto had figured this out, (much like the rest of the effing village) he'd have realize Hinata is his perfect match, not me and would have let me down kindly.
I wish he had.
Because, of the many things that come with being married to Naruto, the one I hate most has to be the lack of Sasuke-kun.
I still remember the day so long ago when Naruto, a wreck of nerves, told me "We need to tell Sasuke." And I nodded weakly. Obviously Naruto would want his best friend to be the first to know he was marrying me.
It was almost lunch time. Both of us knew where Sasuke-kun would be.
Deciding against the idea of holding hands, we headed towards the ramen stand. I spotted his dark hair right away and pointed him out to Naruto. I noticed him force a smile, and seat himself beside Sasuke-kun. I sat beside Naruto, another one of the many things that came with being his significant other.
Sasuke hardly looked up, he glanced at me and I managed to produce one of those special smiles reserved only for him and he looked away quickly.
I found the smile slipping from my face rapidly.
I kept staring: he had bags under his eyes (more so than usual…) and his hair lacked the usual Uchiha luster. It made me suddenly wonder what was going on with him. What's been keeping him up at night?
But then, somewhere amidst my Sasuke-gazing, Naruto had started talking and just wouldn't stop. I realize now, (as I am preparing a small dinner) that Sasuke-kun must have known something was up because Naruto had yet to order a single bowl of ramen.
"Why are you here?" Sasuke-kun suddenly interrupted, his gaze caught mine and I looked away, blushing.
"Well," Naruto did that sheepish-head-scratching-thing that so attracted me in the beginning, "Yeah, I wanted to tell you something…"
There was a long pause in which Naruto continued to feebly scratch.
"What?" Sasuke finally hissed
"I'm…I'm getting married!"
The full impact of the words hit me hard in the chest. I was marrying Naruto, a boy I didn't feel anything for except a strong amount of friendship. When Sasuke-kun, the Sasuke-kun I've loved for much too long was only a seat away from me.
I suppose I must have looked really disappointed or else confused while I was contemplating this because Sasuke-kun's (adorable, yummy) lips turned quite suddenly into a smirk.
And that's when I knew this little get-together was going to be a disaster.
"I thought Sakura was your perfect match…" his voice was laced with too much arrogance; he didn't know what we were going to tell him…
"Sasuke-kun…" I began but in the next second, Naruto had gotten over his temporary confusion
"Sakura-Chan is my perfect match and we are getting married and I wanted you to be the first to know, bastard."
Then he grabbed my hand with such force, I was dragged off my stool. He crushed my hand in a vise grip all the way to his apartment.
I hardly noticed any of this. All I could think about was the look on Sasuke-kun's face. The only other time I remembered him reflect such bafflement was when Sasuke-kun walked in on us kissing. It was the day he realized the rumors were much more than just rumors.
It was also later in that same day when he conveniently decided we were not worth talking to.
But while we are on the subject of Sasuke-kun, I think this is a good time to point out how a part of this problem (Naruto as my husband, not Sasuke-kun) is his fault too.
If Sasuke-kun had just stayed in the village, his home, I would have never needed Naruto for that kind of comfort (granted his leaving is what made me train harder than I ever had before, but that's quite beside the point).
I would have had Sasuke-kun right there, I would have never courted NARUTO because I would have had had the real SASUKE.
And okay, say Sasuke-kun had gone, if he came back to Konoha just a week before Naruto and I started dating, it could be his dinner I would be currently cooking.
But Sasuke-kun came back three months into our relationship. I couldn't very well leave Naruto and jump into Sasuke-kun's broken arms (No matter how much Inner Sakura protested otherwise).
It would be immorally wrong, and I could never bear to hurt Naruto in that way.
See how this marriage corresponds with Sasuke-kun?
He was late.
Can life be anymore unfair?
I cook for Naruto, I do Naruto's laundry, I wake up (almost) every morning beside Naruto and his face is the last thing I see before I fall asleep.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
I was supposed to marry Sasuke-kun. He'd want a small quiet wedding, but I'd argue for a big one. In the end, I'd win. Naruto would be best man and tease us until Sasuke-kun would hit him. He'd carry me into my new home in the Uchiha District. We'd make love that night and Sasuke-kun would whisper to me things he never before had. The next morning, I'd know there was another life inside me.
Every anniversary would be celebrated privately with candles and wine (courtesy of me) and many expensive gifts Ala-Sasuke. Each one would bring the promise of a new child.
Kakashi would often pay us visits, usually overstaying his welcome, and Naruto would be much the same. Hinata and I would become great friends, breaking up the constant fights of our immature husbands.
Sasuke-kun and I would live to an old age and die together after being so happily alive for so long.
My fairytale life that never happened.
If only marriage wasn't so final.
Naruto is different now. He frowns more than usual and doesn't talk as much. I suppose it comes with not having Sasuke-kun in his life anymore. I am much the same. Naruto hardly ever shows me any kind of affection a husband should show his wife. (Not that I do either, but it'd be nice once in a while if he told me I looked nice or something)
We don't go out much together. Maybe for the small fear Sasuke-kun may spot us. Perhaps because the gossip still hasn't stopped.
Pink and yellow. We are bright, we are vibrant, we laugh and smile too much. We are Naruto and Sakura.
"Perfect match," say some people
"False love," claim others
"Only friends," state the smart ones.
"Broken marriage," is my monotonous rebuttal.
It's even hard for me to go out in public alone.
"She married Naruto?"
"But…what happened to Uchiha-sama?"
"Well he was too late! She was already with Naruto!"
"So…Uchiha-sama is single?"
"Do…do you think he'd date me?"
"Not in your life."
I rush past these people.
Ino knows me better than most and often glares at villagers for me, scaring them off for nearly five minutes.
It was Ino, with her small snooping, comments and interested, forced questions that led me to yet another revelation.
I think this entire problem (being Uzumaki Sakura instead of Uchiha Sakura, which, by the way, sounds about fifteen times better) could have been completely avoided if not for me.
The thing is, I became so needy after Sasuke-kun left. I cried for weeks, I was jumpy, it was near impossible for me to get any sleep. The love of my life, the boy I'd so admired, had left willingly to join a crazed-lunatic with an unhealthy fetish for snakes and little boys.
The young man I had once looked to…the one who was suppose to give me a nudge in the right direction had abandoned his village and his second family…and me.
He completely left me.
I became sick with need. I sought companionship and affection, inhaling it in greedily when given.
And then Naruto popped into the picture. The boy who'd promised me the return of my beloved Sasuke-kun. (And he did bring Sasuke-kun back, though years later)
The young self-proclaimed future Hokage. He had dreams, he had potential. But he too went away for years of training. I was again lonely and, of course, needy
But Naruto came back.
Something Sasuke-kun had yet to do.
I wrongly saw a difference in Naruto. I saw light. I spotted hope, a chance at happiness.
And though I save lives and give chakra daily, I was still one greedy girl.
I wanted to be happy, I wanted to forget all about Sasuke-kun 'cause I deserved at least that.
And for a time, we were happy. It was nice to have someone to hold you, even if it wasn't exactly the someone you wanted. Naruto continued to make promises; he cared about me so much. And then, when he was my boyfriend, he still promised the return of the love of my life.
I had never seen such commitment. And when Sasuke-kun was finally back, I stuck with Naruto, because Sasuke-kun had to be brought back and Naruto came back all on his own.
Naruto was loyal.
Sasuke-kun was not.
Do you see my mistake? I was so spoiled, so needy, so ready to have anyone there to say "I love you", regardless of who it was, that I forgot about my Sasuke-kun.
And now, (Thanks, by the way, Kami-sama, thanks a whole freaking lot) I'm paying for it.
Actually, to be completely literal, right now I'm laying in my bed…I mean our bed. Naruto is snoring beside me, his mouth hanging open, and his arms spread out pathetically.
I smile just a little into my pillow and raise my head to gaze hazily at the clock.
My heart's been clenching and unclenching, the way it often does when I think about what could have been.
And I feel the overpowering urge to hug something (you know, the need that got me in this predicament.) so I turn sleepily to my right and slowly raise my arm. I inch myself closer to the source of warmth and place my arm lightly around his torso.
Naruto makes a big heaving snore but does not move. Contented by this fact, I press my front slightly to his side. Only then does he flinch away suddenly.
I stay motionless with my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. I try to keep my breathing even as I feel Naruto slide off the bed. I can feel his eyes on me for about a second before he slowly leaves the room.
I know even before he quietly shuts the door that it's going to be another night on the couch for him.
I wait to see if he'll come back, even though I'm quite convinced that he won't.
After a few minutes, I sit up on my elbows, blinking sleep away.
It is then that my nose starts to run obnoxiously and I realize with a slight jolt that I've been crying. My tears must have been what drove Naruto to the living room.
So like any grown-up, married woman, I launch myself onto my pillow and begin to sob hysterically. I know the walls of our apartment are paper thin; I have no doubt Naruto can hear me.
I picture him in my mind's eye as the sobs escalate to small, choking, gasps; he is staring at the ceiling with a furrowed brow, willing my crying to stop.
Finally after coughing up probably my entire being, I settle back on my soaked pillow, allowing Sasuke-kun to once again enter my mind. I wonder if he's asleep, or if it's one of those many nights when Itachi haunts his dreams.
Just when I feel as if my tears are over and I can finally get some sleep, new sobs rack my body. I try to cover them up with my pillow, wishing to spare Naruto the anguish.
And as I close my eyes, throwing the heavy blanket over my shivering form, I can feel in my heart that I won't be sleeping tonight.
I don't think I've really ever had a good nights' rest since I married Naruto and I don't think I'll be getting one until I'm no longer married to him.
But, of course, this is near impossible.
I am Naruto's.
Till death do us part.
Thank You all for reading, send me reviews and feedback and I'll send you the next chapter soon.
Oh, and please send Ama-Chan (my awesome beta) virtual kisses. She totally deserves them.