Author's Note: IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK! I feel like a 60 year old woman putting on her ballet shoes again. Strange metaphor, but it feels like I haven't written in so long. And I don't know if I can, but I am going to try. This story is entirely different than the Nocturnal Pulse series. It is not a followup to Illuminati. This is a different story entirely and I hope you like it. There should be NO spoilers from Eclipse in this story. I am aware that there are many people who have still to finish the book. HURRY UP, I say! But you should have no fear reading this fanfiction. I've been planning it long before Eclipse came out. Wow. Is it weird that I'm actually nervous? I'll get back into the swing of things soon. Meh. I just want to get to the action! I'm dying for some dark drama here. All in due time.UGH...you guys have NO idea how long it took me to write this short chapter. Weeks. I had to force myself. But it's done. Thank gawd! Thanks once again for the supporters of my other stories. You stuck by me, no matter how messed up they are. Happy reading/writing and MUCH love!
1. FOR YOU
A part of me felt dead. Gone. I didn't know how to move on. My friend and companion was being dragged away from me right before my eyes. This was a horrible dream. A nightmare. This wasn't real. I would wake up soon. Anytime now. But reality stung as I placed my fingers to the cold glass and felt the shock of the chill. This was all too real. I watched with disdain from my bedroom window as the bad men with jumpsuits came and began to harness something to the back of my truck before dragging it away.
"How the hell am I going to live in Forks without a car?..." I bickered. A lump began to rise in my throat.
"I don't want to take Charlie's cop car to school..." My voice broke while saying this, and at once I felt a pair of cool arms surround me. I felt foolish that something like this upset me. But it did. It was the first thing Charlie had given to me when I arrived in this rainy town. It wasn't the prettiest thing on the road, but it did get me from point A to point B. It was strong. Dependable.
"If I had known that Rusty had sputtered creaked for the last time yesterday...I might have driven a little longer..." I hiccuped against the wonderfully cold and hard chest. Completely void of a heartbeat. It was at this time I heard a small snicker. I looked up and my boyfriend's face was completely straight.
"What?" I stared at him with a hard expression.
"Nothing...Everything will be fine, love..." He said. Then he twined his chilled fingers into my hair and pulled my face closer to his chest. I let his little chuckle go and rested against him. Using the small silence to mourn my truck just one last time.
"You called your truck Rusty?..." He mused. I looked up at him once more and the serious face remained. He was a good actor.
"Well...it was... rusty...y'know?" I shrugged. Edward nodded.
"He was old. He lived a good long life...Lots of mileage..." The auburn haired prince to my side whispered as if he were paying his respects. I nodded sadly as well before I noticed that he was probably poking fun at me. I sighed and began to bite at my nails. Forcing myself to refrain from saying anything that I would regret. But my thoughts were bitter. I wished very, very bad things for him and his ridiculous Volvo. He must have sensed my discomfort as I hobbled away from the window and over my unkempt bed, because after I sat down on the edge of the mattress, he kneeled before me, pulled my fingers from my mouth and cupped my face in his hand.
"I'm sorry..." He frowned. His beautiful eyes shone out at me. As if they were trying to reach out and pull me into portals of ocher happiness.
"Are you really? You've wanted my truck out of the picture for ages now." I hissed at him. At once, the corners of my boyfriend's lips turned down. Even though I was upset, it made me feel guilty that I made him feel guilty. This made no sense. With him, all my emotions were so splayed. I was not in control of myself. I wasn't even me. That's the thing about being in love with a vampire. They can put their feet in their mouths all the time, and ultimately you will be the one to feel bad about what they said, only because they're too perfect and beautiful to ever do anything wrong in your eyes.
"Bella, you know I hate to see you upset. For any reason at all. I'm sorry..."
"You're forgiven..." I whispered. At once, as if some sort of penance were payed, Edward stood up and made himself a place on my bed. I turned my head to see him. It still struck awe in me. A man so gorgeous and otherworldly, lying in my bed. Looking absolutely perfect. Looking at me. I couldn't even find humor in the way his legs dangled off the end of the bed. There was another silence that lingered in the air. I had no need to fill it. I felt quite comfortable sitting there in silence with my immortal boyfriend. Slowly he reached out to me and pulled me down in a laying position with him. Content, I cradled my body to his and inhaled deeply as if the wonderful smell coming off him would soon be spent.
"You know..." Edward whispered, almost seductively in my ear. "Rosalie is working on an '82 Mercedes..." It took me a while before I got where he was getting at. I sat up and stared at him.
"Edward!" I shrilled. My car was just towed away and already he was talking alternatives.
"It's red. And old. And kind of rusty.." He pushed casually. Resting his hands behind his head. "If you let me make a phone call, I can stop her from getting the paint job redone."
"Edward!" I shrieked again. "Baby steps! Let my truck stay in the scrap yard for a while before we start making any brash decisions! Besides, I wouldn't ask Rosalie to just give me the car. She hates me enough already. She doesn't need me stealing her cars too."
"She doesn't keep them all. Could you imagine how many cars we'd have if she did? She enjoys fixing them more than anything. And she doesn't hate you. I'm sure she wouldn't mind-"
"Edward..." I began.
"Alright. Okay. The offer is still there should you ever need it."
"Thank you." I said. Intentionally making my voice hard. I began to pull myself out of the bed and saunter over to the window again just to make sure my truck was really gone. Before I could part the yellowed lace, I was back on the bed again with cold arms around me. The feeling was nice, but I did feel slightly annoyed that I wasn't more mobile. Felt as if I had been tugged back and forth for weeks by vampires.
"You really should let me spoil you.." He breathed into my neck. Making himself irresistible. "You might enjoy it."
At that, he hoisted me onto the bed and rested my legs in his lap. I leaned up on my elbows and watched as he very carefully removed the leg brace from my right leg. It wasn't supposed to come off until tomorrow , but it felt so good having the thing off. I wanted to go walk around right now. Did one day really make a difference? I inwardly thanked Alice for making me continue to shave my mangled leg in the shower, as Edward's fingers stroked the length of it.
"Carlisle is going to kill you.." I mumbled with my eyes closed. It felt so good to have his cool hands on me. It seemed to me as if the brace had warped my leg the wrong way instead of setting it right.
"If you don't tell him, he won't know.." Edward smirked.
I lay back and rejoiced in the feeling of the gentle ice massage my boyfriend was giving me. I hummed silently and closed my eyes. I regretted it. When my eyes closed, I subconsciously went back to the time and place I had shattered my leg in the first place. The darkness of the room, and the way the smallest amount of light seemed to splinter off into different directions as they hit the mirrored walls of the studio. His face. His blood red eyes. His tricks and lies unfolding. Telling me that my mother was safe, and that he only wanted me. And the threats. How he was going to make my death slow and drawn out. Speaking of the body he was going to leave behind for Edward and his family to find. Fear in all it's abundance found me, as I was thrown into a wall. Splinters of glass rained down on me in a shower of pain. Cutting. Slicing. And then the forlorn feeling of helplessness and surrender as a set of razor sharp teeth cut into me like knives. So sharp that I couldn't even feel it. Yet so sharp that I could feel nothing but it. And the throbbing pain of my cracked ribs and broken leg, giving way to the burning fire that scorched it's way through my hand and parting off into every vein in my body. Making me scream and writhe.
I twitched myself awake when I felt Edward's lips touch my forehead. He looked down at me with such a worried expression that I didn't even bother to tell him I was fine and brush it off. I wasn't fine. I was scared. Scared that James, Victoria or Laurent might come back and finish what was started, and that Edward and his family would get hurt in the process. My wrist began to prickle, and nervously, I began to rub at the crescent moon scar that lay there. Paler than the rest of my skin. Cooler. And seeming to have a slight shimmer.
"You don't need to be afraid.." Edward whispered. My eyes met his, and they were filled with so much adoration and protection I didn't even know what to say. His love was so strong it blew me out of the water. It scared me how much he loved me. It scared me even more how much I loved him.
"I'll never let anything harmful ever touch you again.."
"That's just another thing that worries me.." I whispered. "How much you would be willing to give up and sacrifice to save my life.."
"It's my fault why you're always in so much danger to begin with. Your life would be much safer, you know. If you weren't in love with me. Much more simple"
"Mmm..simple in the way that I would have to do nothing but lay still in a coffin forever." I said. Edward winced. He didn't like the thought of that, I assumed.
"I'm sure your life was much more simple before me as well.." I said quietly.
"Ha." Was all he said in response. Then he turned his face slowly to my direction. "I don't know how I've lived 105 years without you."
"Quite simply. You didn't know I existed until earlier this year. You can't really miss something you don't know is there." Edward shook his head.
"No. I mean, I could have really used a woman like you in my life when I was first created. To hold me down. To stop me from doing the stupid and irresponsible things I did."
I assumed he was speaking now about his days of rebellion. The decade he spent away from Carlisle to sew his primal oats. He never spoke too deeply about those times, so I also assumed that each day was full of blood and carnage. I could imagine it now. A beautiful and aristocratic vampire wandering the dark streets of his hometown in Chicago. Picking off the murderers and vagabonds one by one. Stalking beneath grey skies for unjust thoughts that would give him reason and pleasure to kill. I sifted for some words of comfort now as I watched him stare up at my textured ceiling.
"You helped a lot of people..You saved lives."
"I ended hundreds.."
"They deserved it." I said, with a sting to my voice.
"That wasn't for me to decide.." Edward said, looking over to me. Trying to pressure me with his eyes to see his resolve. But I couldn't. I couldn't ever feel badly, or wish that, that part of his life didn't exist. I couldn't feel remorse for the people he killed. And it shocked me.
"I'd do it all over again though...For you." He whispered. He looked like he was outside himself. Not even talking to me.
I stared at him hard. My expression incredulous. I knew he would do it. He would torture, kill and die for me. I knew it. It was a scary yet comforting thought. All men told their girlfriends and wives that they would do and give up anything for them. I actually had a boyfriend who would do those things for me. And it was nerve wracking. Edward's eyes looked childishly to me then. And an adorable half-smile spread over his lips.
"You don't believe me?" He asked gently. Yet his tone was daring, as if he would go out and prove himself right away if I didn't.
"No- I mean yes- I...was just thinking, actually, about what you wouldn't do for me." I whimpered meekly. My love's half-smile spread into my favorite crooked smile. Edward pushed himself onto his elbow and leaned over me. He ran his lips up and down my jaw. My heart stopped, stuttered, and then began to race full speed as his lips touched my neck gently like butterfly wings. Then I got the point. The only thing he wouldn't do for me is the only thing I really wanted from him.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it." I muttered breathlessly. I rejoiced in the sound of Edward's playful laughter, but frowned. "You'll do it one day. You have to."
"Do I?" He mused, fixing his arms behind his head again. His raised eyebrow showed his amusement and his annoyance. Still, I continued.
"Mhmm.." I nodded. "One day, the thought of sharing a bed with a seventy year old woman is going to scare you into biting me."
"Do I need to remind you again that I've been alive for over a century? Seventy years is nothing."
"It's nothing when you don't look it." I moped and shuddered as I thought of looking into a mirror, and having wrinkles and snow white hair looking back at me. Gross. What would people say when they saw Edward and I together? Or would we lie for their convenience and say that I was his grandmother? The thought nearly made me sick. I was already distinctly imperfect when I stood beside him. To look even a few years older than him would widen the gap even more.
"Do I seem like a superficial person to you?" He asked with that same surely smile. I didn't answer.
"Well...I guess not. You're dating me." I muttered. Edward's eyes got wide and angry.
"Bella Marie Swan! How dare you?" He hissed. I was shocked by his response. I couldn't even move my lips. "You have no idea how absolutely...exquisite you are, do you? Of how many men at Forks High hate my guts just because I'm lucky enough to have you! Foolish. That's what you are. But never anything but gorgeous and wonderful. How could you ever?-" I unwillingly began to blush. I honesty did not expect him to react so strongly. Edward must have realized my surprise and began to change the subject. But I still couldn't let go of what he had said. I always knew he thought I was pretty. But gorgeous?
"-Everything I do is for your own good. I never want to do anything that would hurt you for a minute. And that includes having you suffer in my arms for three days before becoming a blood thirsty monster like me."
"Monster..." I scoffed, looking down at my bed sheets. "And you're putting your foot down." I noted, hearing the finality in his words.
"That's right." He said. With that, he sat up and snatched up my leg brace from the floor. My heart sank as I realized he was going to put it back on me. No. Not now. The feeling of freedom was amazing. He couldn't cage me back up in that thing again. Quickly I crawled to the edge of my bed to evade him. My speed must have startled even him, because his eyes widened at how quickly I had moved away. I wasn't a speedy person by nature like he was. I was just desperate to keep that device of restraint and torture off of me.
"Bella.." he said in a controlled and patient tone. I didn't care. I wouldn't go back in it without a struggle.
"Bella, darling. Do you want me to get in trouble with Carlisle?" He said in a silky voice. Like trying to bribe a naive child with candy. It worked. I had a slight moment of hesitation. Staring at his mouth and the pretty, yet deadly teeth inside them. It almost distracted me from the fact that Edward was slowly inching towards me. A very human thing to do, for him.
"Tell him I did it." I said defiantly. I began to slip from my bed. Carefully, yet quickly. I almost slipped. The feeling of standing on my own two feet without the brace after so long was foreign. Edward caught me- as quick as lightening - in his stony arms, bridal styke. Somehow, still managing to hold onto the brace. I tried to distract him by pressing my lips against his neck over and over again. I purred against him and bit his earlobe gently.
"You know... I would do anything for you too.." I giggled, hoping he would find me irresistible enough to let me go without the brace. But in my head, I just sounded like an idiot.
"Would you?" Edward taunted. A hint of a smile in his voice.
"Mhmm..anything. Don't you believe me?"
"Of course I do." Edward smiled. Then I felt him press me into the softness of my mattress. I tried to move my legs around spastically, so he wouldn't be able to catch the previously injured one. It didn't work. I felt soft, marble hands on my right leg for about three seconds before I looked down and saw the brace back into place.
"Thank you for being such a good sport while letting me put your brace back on." He smiled innocently and sunk his head down to touch his lips to the skin on my knee. I looked away and pretended that the marrow in my bones weren't turning to mush as he did this.
"I hate you." I mumbled. Obviously lying.
"I love you too, Bella." Edward laughed.