A/N: If you're not familiar with Lydia Winter yet (what, have you been under a rock since last July?), I suggest you go and read Retribution! and Retribution! Revisited in order to become acquainted with her royal snarkishness (there are others starring Lydia, but I'm sure you can find them on your own if you want to). I wrote this fic especially for SpaceMonkey0941; just 'cause I was in the mood for giftage...and she just loves McKay and Winter in the same room together. I'd also like to lay the blame for this piece on Elizabeth Bartlett and Reyclou, as well as Paul Reiser, who should not be allowed to write any more books--especially not if they might find their way into my hands.
They say that every cloud has a silver lining. Now, just because clouds have silver linings doesn't necessarily mean that people go around waiting to get rained on. Rain is wet, from a silver lined cloud or not.
Since the moment I laid eyes on her, Lydia Winter has been the little black rain cloud that follows me wherever I go, raining on my parade directly before she sets C4 inside all the floats and flicks the switch on the detonator to my temper.
And once again, in true Winter-The-Cloud fashion, I find myself being rained on. Torrential downpours just love Rodney McKay and the universe decided that I needed to get soaked today.
It's not enough that I got the crap kicked out of me by Teyla in training today again…noooo, nor is it bad enough that my mission of the day was a bust and Sheppard's been rubbing my face in my 'mistakes' (it was NOT my fault, I tell you! It was all Zelenka!), no, now, to add insult to injury, I have to deal with her.
She's done it again. She's always taking more than half of what's mine, and tonight is no different.
And you want to know the worst part? My death-glare has completely lost all effect. She's immune! She's completely oblivious to the fact that I'm staring holes in the back of her head.
Of course, I could always resort to sneaky tactics to get back my half…but that's a delicate operation. Winter has this nasty habit of being aware of whenever someone's trying to get one over on her…but maybe…
Maybe if I just gently tug right here, she won't notice? It's worth a shot. She's stirring, shifting a small amount, but I think I might have the advantage. At least she's not looking at me…so I'm pretty sure she's still unaware.
Okay, she just turned her head a little bit too much…maybe I should just bide my time and wait for her to face away from me again.
Great, now I'm irritated and impatient. Get a move on, woman, turn your head.
Yes! Success! Maybe the glare hasn't lost all its power after all!
Inch by inch, I am reclaiming my territory! I'm king of the mountain! Ha! Take that, little-miss-hoity-toity-I-take-Rodney's-things-without-asking!
Alright, just one more little yank and I'll be golden. Come on, Rodney, come on, you can do it, you can pull this off---
"Rodney, what are you doing?"
Gack. I'm caught. I'm caught! She's rooting me to the spot with that look as surely as if she had an arrow in my shoulder pinning me to the wall and I do not like it in the least! I am an astrophysicist! The most brilliant man alive in two galaxies! I will not be intimidated!
"I was, I was…" My voice should not be coming out this squeaky.
"Complete sentences, if you please."
Oh! The audacity!
"Fine! You want the truth? You were hogging the covers!"
She rolls back over again, leaving a slightly larger patch of blanket real estate as she does so. "So? You hog the bed."