A/N: Another inspired by staring at my lava lamp. Though this time I was talking with Elizabeth Bartlett at the time and things spiraled off into a whole 'nother weird Discovery Channel related dimension. Yadda yadda, you know who to blame, yadda yadda.


Drip. Drip. Drip.

"Now, Rodney, calm down--" Colonel Sheppard held his hands up in front of himself, putting on the most innocent face he could manage without being absolutely laughable.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Rodney advanced, looking positively murderous, leaving little puddles behind him as he went.

"You're the one who wanted to try and explain Earth science to the Athosian kids...remember? 'Expanding their useless atrophied brain tissue to a somewhat coherent state'?" Sheppard tried the charming smile.

It flopped like an off Broadway turkey.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

He tried again. "I figured they'd like it. I mean...it's science...but with explosions. Science with entertainment value!"

Drip. Drip. Drip.

"That. Is. Not. Science," McKay replied, his words coming out precise and furious, one eyelid dancing to a samba beat that only Rodney's blood pressure level could hear.

"Sure it is. It's a chemical reaction, right? And I mean--it seemed like an easy experiment...and fun too. You just...came in at the wrong time."

Rodney's hands--sticky and slightly tawny in color as a result of the experiment gone awry--closed around the DVD case that sat on the little table next to Sheppard. "I am confiscating these before you put someone's eye out! Do you not hear when they say 'Don't try this at home'?!"

"Rodney, don't be like that, it was just an easy, entertaining way to introduce science--"


Sheppard coughed. "Diet Coke."


"It's Diet Coke."

Rodney's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Shut up. I'm the one who's covered in it, I think I would know what it is. I have been a coinsurer of caffeinated beverages since I first learns to walk, Sheppard, I tell you I am coated in Diet Pepsi!"

"But...Diet Pepsi doesn't have the same reaction as Diet Coke does..."

"Prove it!"

"I'll get the Mentos."