Disclaimer: not mine

The door burst open in a flash of light and Lily screamed, clutching onto the kitchen bench for support as the whole house shook with the force of the blast. Her mind was blank for a blissful three seconds as the stupidest thoughts ran around her mind – had a car crashed, was there an earthquake, did a dragon land in their backyard? – before the truth settled into her mind with cruel clarity – He had found them.

She stepped away from the bench, shaking with fear and anger, searching for her wand. She had to find Harry and get him out of here. "Dammit!" she shouted in frustration. She'd left her wand upstairs, with Harry and James. How careless could one woman be, leaving her wand lying around in the middle of a war, Lily thought, furious at herself as she moved towards the door of the kitchen. She had to get her wand, she had to get to Harry and James.

She saw James come sprinting down the stair case, wand held out in front of him. "Lily!" he shouted, catching sight of her. He leapt into the kitchen, pulling her into a tight embrace. "Lily, take Harry and go, it's him."

Lily clung to her husband tightly, burying her face into his chest. She knew, in her heart, that this would be the last time she would hold him. They had been lucky the past 3 times, back when they had been simply been a nuisance to Voldemort. But now he wanted them dead for a reason. No one who Voldemort wanted dead lived. No one but Harry, she thought fiercely. He would not get to Harry, not when she still lived. "I know," she said, surprisingly calm.

James kissed the top of her head roughly and pushed her away, a determined look in his eyes. "Lily, go. I'll hold him off, give you time to get out of here."

She nodded, paling as Voldemort's laughter echoed through the house. "You can't hide from me." He taunted and they heard him making his way through the living room.

"James…" she shook her head. "Peter…he…"

"I know," James shoved her towards the stair case, "I know Lily. But you have to go now."

Lily nodded and started up the stairs. She looked back over her shoulder once, to see James gazing at her, his hazel eyes full of love. The intensity made her freeze and she felt tears well in her eyes. She was seeing him for the last time, this was the last time she'd ever look at her husband. She knew it, and by the sadness in James' eyes, he knew it too. "I love you" She whispered, trying to put as much as she could into those 3 words, trying to let him know one last time that he was her everything.

"I love you too Lils" he answered, smiling softly. "Now go save our son." He turned and strode away from her, towards their living room, never looking back.

Lily wanted to run after him, stand by his side and fight with him like they always had. They were stronger together, together they could beat him. If she was going to die tonight, she wished it could be with her husband. But the cries coming from Harry's nursery dragged her upwards, her heart constricting with pain and grief and anger. She wanted to die with James, but she could not die while Harry still lived and was in danger. She wanted to be with James, but she needed to be with Harry, it was an ache inside of her that she couldn't ignore. She raced up the stairs, tears rolling down her cheeks as she heard the sounds of fighting downstairs.

Lily had just flung upon the nursery door when the house shook again and there was a flash of green light.

It was as if the entire world paused for half a second. Her heart stopped beating, she stopped breathing, everything went dark. Dead. He was gone. She remembered how he had promised her that he would never leave her and she bit back a whimper. Her James was gone and she was alone. Grief was crushing her heart and all she wanted to do was curl up and cry, cry because it felt like half of her body had been ripped away.

But then the world came rushing back in, Harry's frantic screams, Voldemorts triumphant laughter, the sound of his steps coming up the stairs. She stepped into the room, closing the door quietly. Her mind was working furiously as she hurried over to Harry and picked him up, holding her baby close to her. He stopped crying as soon as he saw her and snuggled into her chest, playing with her long hair. She smiled absently, trying to find a way out of here. She needed to get out, and she needed to get out now. She pulled back the corner of the curtain on the window and peeked outside. She bit back another whimper as she saw Death Eaters surrounding her house.

"Lily," Voldemort crooned outside the door, "Lily, there's no use hiding. Just let me in."

Lily spun around, gasping for breath. This was it. There was no way out. She was going to die. She started to cry, a feeling of hopelessness washing over her. She was going to die and leave Harry alone and there was nothing she could do. She was so afraid that her boy would grow up alone and unloved. "I love you Harry" she whispered into his soft black hair, so like James', "don't ever forget ok?" She kissed the top of his head and placed him in his cot. She glanced at her wand lying on the changing table and hesitated. If she fought, Voldemort would be angered and he might not kill her first. He might decide to punish her by watching her son die. She had to die first…she had to. She had to die willingly and knowingly for her half formed plan to work.

Voldemort grew tired waiting and the door to the nursery blew open. Lily took one last look at her son before stepping forward to meet her death.

A/N hmm…I'm not sure if I like this. Please r&r, constructive crit. is much appreciated, especially for this fic. Hope you enjoy!