Title: This Broken Heart

pairing: Tsuzuki/Hisoka

rating: NC-17

summary: Tsuzuki and Hisoka have smoothed out their rough patches. Can Tsuzuki mend Hisoka's broken heart? Read Just for You first!

Hisoka opened his eyes slowly, immediately closing them. The boy pulled the sheets to his chest, turning to his side. Tsuzuki wasn't there when he opened his eyes again. Hisoka sat up. They still slept in the same bed, they just never touched.

Hisoka brought a hand up to his face. The boy felt like crying, but couldn't. He loved Tsuzuki...but his heart said he wasn't ready. Hisoka suddenly noticed he was shaking. After composing himself, the teen got up to get dressed. Time to face Tsuzuki. He told himself.

"Good morning, Hisoka." Tsuzuki said as Hisoka walked into the kitchen. "Want some coffee? Some tea?" Hisoka sat. "Tea, please." The green-eyed shinigami said in a small whisper. Tsuzuki placed the cup in front of his partner, before sitting down with his own coffee.

Hisoka took the cup, taking a sip. "Tsuzuki..." Hisoka said, looking down. "Hmmm?" The man replied into his cup as he drank. "I- um...thank you. Y-you know...for being so understanding..." Tsuzuki put his cup down, reaching across the table to grab Hisoka's hand. "I would have it no other way."

Hisoka clasped the man's hand. "Thank you..." He whispered. Tsuzuki straightened in his chair, clearing his throat. "So...we have today off. What do you wanna do?" Hisoka looked into his cup. "Well...I-I dunno..."

Tsuzuki stood, walking to the sink to wash his cup. The man walked back to Hisoka. Leaning over behind Hisoka, he put his arms around the boy's small, fragile shoulders. "Hisoka" Tsuzuki whispered into the boy's neck, squeezing his arms tighter. Hisoka brought his hands up to hold Tsuzuki's arms.

"Your heart is mending." The man said. Then, in a very gentle whisper, he added, "The pain will ease. And I'll be right here when it does." Tsuzuki stood, gently kissing the boy's head, then walked into the other room, leaving Hisoka alone with his painful thoughts.

"Ugh..." Hisoka felt himself cry again. Why was this so goddamn hard? Why couldn't he just give his heart back to Tsuzuki? Hisoka rubbed his eyes. Walking into the living room, he said, "Let's go for a walk." Tsuzuki stood from the couch. "Ok...do you wanna talk about anything?" The man said cautiously. "No...well...I dunno..."

Tsuzuki grabbed his jacket. Shrugging it on, he said, "Well, tell me if you do. I'll talk to you about anything." Hisoka smiled slightly. "I know..." The man put one arm around the small boy's shoulders. "Shall we?"

Hisoka walked slightly behind his older partner. Would he always walk in the amethyst-eyed shinigami? After all...he would never be so tall...or broad shouldered. 'I'll never be nearly as...beautiful...' Hisoka thought sadly.

Hisoka watched as Tsuzuki sat, folding his arms behind his head. "Tsuzuki..." The man looked up, his amethyst eyes full of question. "I can't. I-i'm sorry." Before Tsuzuki could respond, Hisoka ran off.

The next day, Tsuzuki walked into work with dark bags under his eyes. "Tsuzuki?" The chief asked. "Did you sleep at all?" Then, after looking around, added. "Where's the kid?" Tsuzuki plopped into a chair in the chief's office. With a deep sigh he said. "No, I didn't sleep. I was up all night trying to find Hisoka." The chief seemed shocked. "He's missing?"

Tsuzuki nodded wearily. "I tried to talk to him last night, but he just...ran off." Tsuzuki sighed deeply, covering his eyes with one hand. "I miss him." The Shinigami whispered. The chief nodded slowly. "I'll put together a search team. Everyone in the department will look."

When Tsuzuki looked up, the chief added, "Promise." Tsuzuki smiled as the chief stood. "Thank you." He whispered. "Go home and rest, Tsuzuki. I'll keep you informed." Tsuzuki stood, walking toward the door the chief had just opened. "Thanks, chief."

Once Tsuzuki got back to his apartment, he collapsed onto the bed. For whatever reason, he didn't feel the slightest bit tired. What he found even more strange, was that he wanted to take a walk. Sighing, he sat up, grabbing his overcoat.

As he walked out onto the street, he found that it had just started to rain. The rain hardly stopped him, though, as he walked down the abandoned street. Tsuzuki was so lost in his own thoughts, that he didn't realize how long or far he walked. He did know, however, that he was standing under the big oak tree in the park. The tree that he and Hisoka had shared their first kiss under.

The amethyst-eyed shinigami pressed his hands to the tree. Memories flooded his mind almost too quickly as he pressed his forehead to the tree. "Hisoka..." he whispered, tears falling from his eyes. "Where...Where did you go?"

"I...I've always been right here, Tsuzuki." Tsuzuki spun around quickly to the figure that was standing just a few feet away. "Hisoka." When Tsuzuki moved to step closer, Hisoka put up his hand, stopping the man.

"Hisoka. Please. I miss you." Hisoka's hand fell to his side. "I've never felt this way before, Hisoka. Everything that I do reminds me of you." Tsuzuki swallowed hard as he watched the boy carefully. "Those words I need to hear...that always get me through the day and make everything ok...only your words. I miss you."

Hisoka licked his lips. "I just-" Tsuzuki grabbed the boy's shoulders. "Tsuzuki? What're you– " "Marry me." Hisoka stopped struggling, his hands falling limp on Tsuzuki's chest. "Tsuzuki...what-what did you say?" Tsuzuki exhaled shortly. "Marry me." He said again, this time with more determination ion his voice. "Tsuzuki...I– "

"Hisoka, listen. I have it all figured out. Y'know those perfect words I've been trying to say all week? Those perfect words to make it all better? Those words never came to mind...because there was nothing in there but you." Hisoka looked up at the man in shock, tears coming to his eyes.

"Quite frankly, you've stolen my heart. So? What do you say?" Hisoka managed to wiggle his way out of the man's grasp. Putting a hand to his forehead, he sat on a nearby bench. "Tsuzuki, we can't. I-I mean..." The boy sighed deeply. Sitting next to Hisoka, the older man held the child in his arms.

"Hisoka," He said gently, "We both know that you can't think of any excuse. I love you and you love me. That's all we need." The boy sighed. "Tsuzuki..." The older shinigami felt the boy relax in his grasp. "We were made for each other. I know we were." Hisoka whispered. Tsuzuki bent over and kissed the teen. "I love you, Tsuzuki."

The next day, Tsuzuki and Hisoka had a discreet ceremony performed by a priest. Once they got back to their apartment, Tsuzuki called the chief, telling him what happened. "So the kid's ok, right?" Tsuzuki chuckled. "Better then ever. Ok. See you tomorrow, chief. Bye"

Once Tsuzuki set the phone onto the receiver, his love tackled him to the couch. Straddling the man, Hisoka said, "So, I believe we do something...special...on our wedding night. Don't we?" Tsuzuki swallowed hard. "W-well, y-yea. I-I guess." Then, clearing his throat, Tsuzuki added, "At night."

Hisoka looked out the window. "Eh, close enough." The boy tried to kiss his husband, but was interrupted. "It's 2:30 in the afternoon!" Hisoka looked dumbfounded. "And so?" Tsuzuki was taken aback. "Hisoka, we...w-well, I...I...y-you know..." Tsuzuki flushed a deep shade of crimson.

"What's wrong?" Tsuzuki sighed. "It's just that I... you..." Hisoka vaulted forward, kissing his beloved. As he unbuttoned the man's shirt, he whispered, "Let your body tell me how you feel, Tsuzuki." The elder man let out a deep moan as Hisoka's gentle fingers kneaded his cock through his pants.

"U-um..." Hisoka continued to kiss the man's neck. Tsuzuki slowly brought his hands up the boy's narrow back. The man kissed Hisoka's neck, then whispering in his ear, he said, "Don't you think we'll be more comfortable on the bed?" Hisoka swallowed hard as the man's hands found their way between his legs.

"I-I g-guess..." Tsuzuki smiled. Now it was Hisoka's turn to be taken aback. Slipping away from the boy, Tsuzuki pulled his shirt off, tossing it on the floor as he walked toward the bedroom. Hisoka followed, eager for what was to come.

Tsuzuki was sitting on the bed, taking off his socks, when Hisoka came in. Smiling, Tsuzuki said, "Lay down, and close your eyes." Hisoka crawled onto the bed. "Why?" Crawling over the boy, Tsuzuki said, "Because...it's a surprise." Hisoka smiled as he shut his eyes. Tsuzuki kissed both of the boy's eye lids, before drawing something from his pocket.

"Give me your hands." The man whispered gently. Hisoka raised his arms, his hands feeling for Tsuzuki. Taking the boys hands, he gently tied them to the bed post with his tie. Hisoka's eyes flew open as he struggled against his bonds.

"Tsuzuki? Wha–" Tsuzuki's hands swept down the boy's arms. "Do you love me?" Tsuzuki's hands held the boy's cheeks. "Well, of course, but– " The man kissed his small lover. "Then trust me. I wouldn't hurt you."

The man waited until the small child relaxed under his touch before kissing down his chest. Hisoka pulled at the bonds that held him. It was too much! Sensations Hisoka didn't know existed came alive all at once. It was suffocating.

"Hisoka...relax.." Tsuzuki cooed. Then, in a whisper, added, "It's me." Hisoka moaned. "I am relaxed...I'm just...anxious." Tsuzuki laughed against Hisoka's stomach. "That's what your wedding night should feel like." Hisoka let out a soft whimper as Tsuzuki unbuttoned the boy's pants.

Tsuzuki kissed the boy's waist line as he tugged the pants away. Smiling, the man kissed the material over the boy's straining dick. Hisoka let out a loud moan as his lover began to work the material with his lips. Hisoka struggled fiercely with the bonds that held him. "Ugh...Tsuzuki...please! AH!"

Hisoka arched his back, pulling tightly at the tie on his wrists.

"Hisoka!" The teen opened his brilliant emerald eyes. "Relax, Hisoka. It's ok..." Hisoka let out the breath that he'd just realized he'd been holding. Tsuzuki leaned in to kiss his lover. "Please..." Hisoka hissed. "Untie me...I-I can't take anymore! Please." The man gently trailed his fingertips up Hisoka's arms. With his long delicate fingers, he slowly pulled the tie away from the boy's wrists. Tsuzuki took them in his large, gently hands, kissing the red marks Hisoka had made from pulling.

Hisoka vaulted forward the moment Tsuzuki had dropped his wrists. He pushed the man to his back, roughly ripping off his lover's shirt. Hisoka licked and kissed his way down the man's chest. Tsuzuki moaned and writhed under the boy's touch.

The teen gently pulled his boxers down, just before he unzipped Tsuzuki's pants. Pulling them down, Hisoka kneaded the man's straining erection trough the material as he threw the pants across the room. Pulling down Tsuzuki's boxers, Hisoka moaned as he licked the man's cock slowly.

Tsuzuki thrashed, arching his back. Tsuzuki was ready to explode just as Hisoka pulled his mouth away. "Why...why'd you– " The boy pressed his hand to the man's mouth. "Tsuzuki..." He whispered. "I'm ready. I need you to take me."

Tsuzuki was shocked. Of course, he knew in his mind that they would do this sort of thing eventually ...but in his heart, he wasn't totally ready. The boy laid on his back next to Tsuzuki, smiling as his love climbed over him.

"Well..." Tsuzuki muttered. "We'll need some...um...lubricant." He said in a low voice. Hisoka looked puzzled. "Like?" Tsuzuki's insides churned. The boy's innocence pained him to the core of his being. "Lotion will do..." Hisoka looked toward the bathroom. "There's some in the bathroom, isn't there?"

Tsuzuki got up, heading toward the bathroom. The boy watched as Tsuzuki emerged smiling. "What?" Hisoka asked. Climbing back onto the bed, Tsuzuki chuckled, "It's 'Warm Vanilla' scented." Hisoka laid flat as Tsuzuki crawled over him again.

"You ready?" Hisoka nodded vigorously, his jaw tightly clenched. "Hisoka...we could always do this some other time you kn– " Hisoka grabbed the man's face in his palms."Tsuzuki." The teen said firmly, his emerald eyes strongly decisive. Then in a soft voice, "Please. It's our wedding night. Don't rob me of my night. You need to take me. It's the only way I'll truly belong to you."

"Alright." Tsuzuki said softly, before gently kissing the boy. "Are you ready?" Hisoka nodded. Tsuzuki put some of the lotion on his fingers. "Ok. Lay back and spread your legs for me." Hisoka nodded, doing what Tsuzuki asked. "Relax, my love." Using his other hand, Tsuzuki gently caressed the boy's chest.

"Relax..." Tsuzuki cooed. Hisoka spread his legs as Tsuzuki gently coaxed the teen's entrance with lotion. Tsuzuki gently slipped a finger into Hisoka. The boy immediately gasped and cried out in pain. "Shhh. It's ok, my love. Just relax..." Hisoka moaned in pain. "Hisoka...Hisoka! Listen, don't tense up, ok? Just relax, ok?"

Hisoka nodded, his hands gripping to sheets. Tsuzuki gently slipped another finger in, cooing soft remarks of comfort to his young lover. Hisoka gasped as his lover's long, beautiful finger's scissored inside of him. "Ah! Tsuzuki...I-I'm ready."

Tsuzuki nodded, taking a deep breath. "I love you, Hisoka." Tsuzuki said in a low voice as he coaxed his dick with the lotion. "I love you too," The boy whispered, then adding, "My darling." Tsuzuki slowly pushed into Hisoka, moaning deeply at the boy's tightness. "Agh...Hisoka!" Tsuzuki breathed.

"R-relax Hisoka. Ugh!" Hisoka groped for Tsuzuki's hands. Finding them, the boy held on to them as he gasped in pain. Tsuzuki pushed in deeper watching as his lover writhed in pain. "Hisoka, we'll stop if you wan– " Hisoka grabbed Tsuzuki's forearms, suddenly becoming angry. "No!" he shouted. Then in a low voice, he added, "I won't quit now."

Tsuzuki pulled out gently, before slowly pushing in again. Hisoka writhed and moaned under Tsuzuki's touch. Finally, Tsuzuki was pushing into Hisoka with a blinding force, and all Hisoka could do was moan and pant.

"Ah! Tsuzuki I– " He couldn't finish his sentence, for Tsuzuki's hand slid around the boy's leg, taking hold of the child's hard cock. Hisoka shouted in ecstacy as Tsuzuki pumped his cock with his hand. Hisoka shouted as he released onto Tsuzuki's hand.

Tsuzuki threw his head back, moaning deeply. He thrust deeply into Hisoka a few more times as he rode out his orgasm. Gasping, he hung his head, his hair just lightly brushing the boy's chest. "Oh, Hisoka! You felt so...wonderful!" Hisoka smiled as Tsuzuki pulled out of him.

"Was it really that good?" Tsuzuki nodded, to weary to say anything at all. They now laid together under the covers; Tsuzuki laying on his back, Hisoka laying in the man's arms. Tsuzuki idly played with Hisoka's hair as they talked.

"I love you, Hisoka." Tsuzuki said, hugging the boy close. "I love you too, my darling." Tsuzuki smiled as he kissed the boy. Then they both snuggled against each other for a sleep they both deserved.

The End!

author's note: Well then. This was defiantly the hardest fic I wrote. Seriously. I;ve been working on it for...3 weeks I would say. It was a very good idea in my head, but on paper I was like, "So...this'll be hard..." Hope you liked it (I mean, not gonna lie, defiantly wasn't my favorite...)

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