Warning(s): Shounen Ai, BoyxBoy relationships, maybe cursing..?
Pairing(s): SasuNaru, KakaIru, hints of ItaKyuu, hints of others.
A/N: I hope you enjoy!
"Hello!Thank-you for calling Itachi's Voodoo Hotline!What can I get for you?"A long haired brunette asked cheerfully into the phone.
"Yes, hi.Do you happen to sell Iruka Umino dolls?"
Itachi paused for a brief moment, shuffling through the papers on his desk.The papers held a list of what types/names of dolls they made. More shuffling noises was made until a low 'Aha!' came from Itachi."Why, yes.I happen to, you wish to buy one, correct?"
"Alright then, may I ask your name?"
Silence met Itachi's question.Hesitance was obivious from the other side of the phone.Hesitance to give a name.Just as Itachi rose an eyebrow and was about to ask again, a clear voice answered,"Um... Mr.Scarecrow."
Itachi's pen immediately checked off the box beside Iruka's name,"Clothed or no?"The Uchiha asked into the phone.
"You can do that?!"An excited Mr.Scarecrow's voice came.
"Yes,"Itachi replied smoothly, "I only wish to give my customers the most pleasurable experiences."
Two days later, a happily grinning Kakashi made his way over to his dolphins' house, carefully handling his new toy.His toy was a prefect replica, right down to the scar over the bridge of his nose.His little Iruka chibi voodoo doll even had a forehead protector on!And as to the question of clothes or no, well, Kakashi had taken quite a liking to his life and he didn't to lose it over a doll.
The Jounin giggled as thoughts of what he could do to his dolphin filled up his mind.Oh, Itachi was a genius to come up with something like this...
Lost in his musings, the silver-haired man almost walked completely past his lovers' house.Retracing his steps, he looked up and spotted an open window. Grinning cheekily,he jumped up to the window and sneakily snuck in, careful not to hurt his chibi doll.
"What are you doing?"
Kakashi froze and turned around to meet his lover.He smiled, completely forgetting he had just broke into his lover's house.He had done it tons of times before, so why would it bug him now?
"Dolphin!"The Jounin greeted,"Look what I've got!"
The silver-haired man then, pulled out his chibi Iruka doll to show his lover. The brunette frowned,"What is that?"
"It's a chibi voodoo doll that looks like you!It's got a special attribute from your own body attached to this."
If possible, the brunette frowned deeper,"Voodoo?Special attribute?"
Kakashi grinned, "Let me show you, ne?"With that, he briefly made a hand seal with his right hand and muttered,"Mezame."(1) The chibi Iruka doll twitched briefly before becoming still again.
The Jounin grinned wider and asked, "Ready?"
Iruka grew extremely suspicious at this point.Not that he wasn't before, but now it had increased tenfold.The scar on his nose wrinkled as he watched his lover raise the chibi doll, and grab one of it's arms, and lifted it.As if on cue, Iruka's own arm raised as if by itself.Iruka's eyes widened, and he tried to move his arm, but to no avail.Iruka turned his eye's to his lover with a glare, but Kakashi had a perverted grin on.
And all throughout the night, Iruka wanted to rip and destroy the doll into little itty bitty pieces.
The next day...
At the bridge, you could see a hyper blonde, an angsting raven and a head-over-heels-in-love-with-Sasuke, cherry blossom.Things were at their usual, Sakura trying desperately to get Sasuke's attention, Naruto, trying to get Sakura's attention, and Sasuke who only had eyes for a certain blonde.
Ahhh.Things were great.
Then, a light 'poof' ing noise disturbed the love triangle.Sakura and Naruto's heads immediately snapped up, both yelling at the same time,"You're late!"And Sasuke just issued a brief ,"Hn.".
"Maa, maa... My bad.You see, there was-"Kakashi started, only to be cut off by a loud blonde.
"Hey, Kakashi-sensei...what's that?"Naruto blurted, pointing out the brown tuft of hair sticking out of the pocket of the Jounin's vest.
"Hmmm?"Looking down, the Jounin grinned, then pulled at the brown hair to reveal a chibi Iruka doll."This... is my chibi voodoo Iruka doll!"Kakshi presented with a flourish.
Naruto looked genuinely interested, while Sakura looked slightly disturbed and Sasuke looked...at the stream flowing under the bridge.
Suddenly, Kakashi grinned even more and stuffed the Iruka doll away gently, and searched in his vest for something.Eventually finding it, Kakashi pulled out three other dolls.One with pink hair, one with blonde and one with raven hair."I even got some of my favourite students!"
All three students looked at their sensei disbelievingly.Sasuke even went out of his way enough to ask, "Why?"
To answer this, Kakashi's visible eye curved upwards, as he lifted Sakura's doll.Making a one-handed seal,the Jounin whispered, "Mezame."The doll twitched, then became immovable.He immediately lifted a couple kunai out of his pocket and fixed it to the doll's shirt.Walking over to a tree, he stuck the kunai in the tree, and just as he did that, Sakura was drawn to that tree.Her body moved on it's own accord, her legs immediately moving towards the tree.
"What the-?"The cherry blossom asked,trying to get her body to move.She freaked out when she reached the tree, her back was aganist it,she couldn't move away from the tree.Even using her hands to get away proved pointless.She immediately turned her glare to Kakashi who grinned, "See?Voodoo.It works."
Naruto was staring open mouthed, at the tree.Her doll was placed right next to her on the tree, with a couple of kunai keeping it there.But, Sakura had no kunai or anything holding her back.And she was...stuck!
"Cool!I wanna try, I wanna try!"Naruto burst out, and immediately ran over to his sensei.Sasuke just stared emotionlessly at the pinned ninja.
"You really wanna try, Naruto?"Kakashi asked, his eye curving upwards.Naruto nodded enthuastically.
Sasuke had a sinking feeling.
The Jounin grabbed the look alike Sasuke doll and Naruto doll, and muttered,"Mezame."The Jounin immediately brought both dolls together, their chests touching.Immediately after that, Sasuke and Naruto were pulled together, their chests touching.Kakashi made Naruto wrap his arms around Sasuke's neck, while Sasuke's arms went around the blonde's waist.They both were blushing.
Sakura stared, open mouthed, at the two boys.Turning another glare at their sensei she burst out,"What the hell are you doing?"An angry blush flattened upon her face.
All three boys just ignored her, while the oldest toyed with the dolls some more. Slowly, a pale hand went up a black shirt, causing the blonde to shiver and let out a small moan. Sasuke smirked of his own accord and let Kakashi do whatever he wanted to do with them.As long as it continued like this, Sasuke would be one happy ninja.
Kakashi continued to play with the dolls, he now had Sasuke pin Naruto aganist a tree, and suck on his neck.The blonde moaned and moved his hands all over the pale boy's back.The current doll master grinned, but shot a look towards Sakura.There she was, pinned and staring at the two boys as if they had lost their minds.Feeling a bit of pity towards her, he stopped manipulating the dolls, muttering a word to stop them.He grinned and walked over to the girl and smiled slightly before releasing her too.
When she was let go, she glared at him, but thanked him all the same.Looking back, she saw both boys still at it, moaning and groaning eachother's names.She blushed and looked back to Kakashi demanding,"Why don't you stop that, already!Can't you see they're clearly not enjoying themselves?!"
The Jounin looked over to see the two boys still at it, and they looked totally enwrapped into eachother.And he was sure neither was going to let go soon.And, they looked pretty damn happy to him.He turned his smile back to Sakura and said,"I've already stopped, Sakura."
"Is everyone done their quiz?"Iruka asked his class at large.
Murmurs of 'yeah' and 'of course' rang throughtout the class as they returned their papers.
"Good.Now everyone return to your seats please."
The student obeyed, and once they were all seated, they turned their attention back to the front of the class.Iruka smiled,"Now, for our next quiz-"The brunette's speech was cut short however, as his hand moved of it's own accord and slowly, and seductively pulled down the zipper on his vest.The class watched with wide eyes as Iruka blushed.
Looking up at the class, he suddenly yelled out to the room, "KAKASHI!!!" The hand pulling down his zipper immediately stopped.The dolphin, then, reached behind his desk and pulled out a kunai.Aiming it out the window, he threw it, and heard a brief 'eep'.
Seconds later, a sheepishly grinning Kakashi stood in the window sill, rubbing at the back of his head."Uh... Gomen?"
As an answer, Iruka only glared, and reached behind the desk.Pulling his hand back, he revealed he was holding a chibi voodoo doll of Kakashi himself.Grinning despite himself, Iruka made a hand seal and muttered, "Mezame." The doll twitched. Iruka grinned up innocently up at his lover and grabbed at the Kakashi dolls' arm.
Kakashi flushed, as he watched Iruka pull out a doll.. a doll that looked like him.Then, his hand, not of his own accord, reached up towards his mask.The Jounin's eyes widened."No!Iruka...please, don't!!!!"He called out pleadingly.
Iruka only smiled as he controlled the doll.Kakashi's hand tugged at the edges of the mask, his eyes widened with horror.
Itachi sat calmly at a desk, looking through the papers.Shuffling through them, he finally found the page he was looking for.The ordering sheet. He scanned his eyes down the paper, looking apprecitatively at his makings.
Suddenly, the door to the office opened, and Itachi whipped his head around to glare at the intruder.
"Hey, Itachi.How's sales?"Kisame asked, walking in calmly,ignoring the glare he was receiving.At the shark man's question, Itachi immediately brightened up.
"So far, I've got requests for one Ino Yamanaka doll, one Sakura Haruno doll, Thousands upon thousands of Sasuke dolls,"Itachi paused and sighed,"Poor little brother..."Then as if he didn't just have a moment of pity for his brother, he continued,"One Naruto Uzumaki doll, One Shikamaru Nara doll, and about one hundred Kakashi Hatake dolls."
Kisame blinked."Woah..." Itachi was getting quite the little business!,"Good luck, I guess..."With that, Kisame left the room all alone to the little voodoo doll creator.
Once the shark man was gone, Itachi immediately dug in his desk and grabbed onto a soft chibi plushie with nine tails,"My one and only..." Then , nuzzling the plushie, Itachi muttered contentedly,"Ah, Kyuu-kun..."
Iruka calmly made his way home, finally reaching his door.Exhausted, he unlocked the door and immediately looked to the table.His Kakashi doll was gone.
All traces of fatigue gone, the chocolate haired man searched and searched, looking under the couch, in the cupboards, in the bathroom, everywhere.But his Kakashi doll was nowhere to be found.
Finally, thinking the last place he would ever put it, would be in his room, he left to find his room.Reaching the door, he pushed it open. Revealing the room to his sights, he paused slightly and sighed, there sitting on his bed was none other than the scarecrow himself.
"Kakashi, have you seen my doll of you?"Iruka asked.
"Hmm?"Kakashi asked, acting innocent,"I have no idea what you're talking about, my dear dolphin."
"I think you're lieing."
"I think I'm not."
"You really had nothing to do with the disappearance of the doll?"Iruka suspiciously asked.
Kakashi nodded, "Nothing," Of course, in all reality, he did. After what he dolphin almost made him do, he had to get rid of it!He burned the little doll, until it was no more.He threw the pieces(after mutulating it into little pieces hardly visible to the eye.) into the wind, never to be found again.Yes, he was quite proud of himself.
"Good.I knew you'd never ever do something that would hurt me, right, Kakashi?"Iruka asked with a cheerful grin.
Ok, now was a time to get suspicious.He looked alittle too happy to have lost his precious doll.But, he answered anyways,"Never, Iruka, dear."
"Good, cause, y'know.."Iruka smiled, walking to his clost and turning the handle," I'd hate for you to hurt me, Kakashi."Then, grinning even more, Iruka pulled open the closet door.Tons and tons of Kakashi look alike dolls tumbled form the closet and onto the floor."But, I always have a backup." The brunette chided, gesturing to the mass of dolls littering floor.
Kakashi felt his face flush.Oh, Kami.Inwardly, he cursed Itachi.Cursed him and his stupid dolls.Him and his ingenius acts.Him and his stupid, stupid ideas.
A/N: Hhaha, I love this.Iruka already figured out Kakashi had burned his doll.Poor Kakashi though...think of what Iruka could do with all those dolls.The order form that Itachi had, were obiviously dolls that other people ordered.Shikamaru ordered the Ino doll, Lee ordered the Sakura doll, You can guess who bought all the Sasuke dolls,(-cough-Fangirls-cough-)Sasuke ordered the Naruto doll, and Ino ordered the Shikamaru doll. There, now that that's explained,you can have an idea of the other hinted couples.
(1) Mezame- It basically means, 'to wake up' or 'awaken' in japanese.
I had this idea in my head for awhile.I finally decided to post it.What did you think?
I'd love to hear your thoughts!Any questions or anything, just ask!Leave a signed review and I'll reply!