Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this.

Mario and Sonic glared at each other angrily.

"What are you doing in one of my games?"

"Your game? My name is the first in the title!"

"Yeah, but we both know people will buy it ´cause I´m cool and can kick your butt."

"What?! Whose company bought-a yours again? Sega-freak..."

"People still think my first game rocked harder than anything else. You, on the other hand, get pwned by that prissy green fairy boy on your own console!"

"That´s not…Link is not…!"

"And you´re fat."

"That´s it! I think-a you´re just overcompensating for that angsting doppio-gänger of yours to take away your spot-a-light!"

"That´s not…Shadow is not…!"

"At least I have il mio fratello Luigi under control."

"...some of the Mario yaoi writers suggest otherwise."

"Will you leave fanfiction out of this!"

"My fandom on ffnet is way bigger than yours, so no."


"That´s because my games at least have, you know, a story."

"Your last games got-a the worst reviews I´ve ever read! A storia doesn´t make them better if you can´t even manage to not fall into pits every five seconds. And I have originale background stories, too!"

"Look! Bowser kidnapped Princess Peach!"

"What! Where?!"



"And besides, the new Secret Rings is way better than the other ones. Oh, and your villain sucks. At least Eggman got brains."

"I admit that´s one asset-a distinguishing him from you. But can your Doctore spew fire? Huh? Can he? Or does he have spikes? It´s one of the sissiest arch-enemies I´ve ever seen…"

"…he…he can perform belly bump just like your oversized turtle! And he´s commanding armies of battle robots, not rabid mushrooms!"

"That´s because my games are child friendly. Yours are screwing up innocent bambini!"


"You hedgehog hussy are changing partners every two adventures. That´s-a no way to treat girls."

"Hedgehog hussy! You have a serious wish to be spin-dashed on the spot!"

"You could never take me on. Go and ask Amy to help you. Or Blaze. Or Elise. Or Sha…"

"You would be the one crying for help from your deformed siblings! My friends are way past cool!"

"A mutated fox runt and a dread-a-lock-a experiment gone wrong."

"You take that back if you value your plumbing tools! At least characters in my franchise have something like, I dunno, personality! You don´t even know how to speak properly, you nursery school drop-out!"

"Oh yeah?! Well, consider that when I speak, I don´t make an idiota out of myself like you! Mamma mia!"

"Just what are you trying to say?!"

"'Jason Griffith' and 'Power of Teamwork' mean anything to you?"

"Oh, man…"

"'Because we´re Sonic heroes!' – what-a were you even trying to say with that?!"

"I don´t know! It was that script! I…"


"It´s not always like this! I have three comic series running with me as the main character!"

"With you as the main pimp!"

"…you´re just jealous."

"I most-a certainly am NOT! And at least I have the decency to wear clothes!"

"Your ugly brown somethings down there could never reach the fashion height of my awesome sneakers. And besides, I´m a hedgehog! I don´t need them!"

"Then crawl back into your burrow, porcospino, spiky thing. Evolution has surpassed you long ago."

"Care to say that again?! I could whup your sorry butt any time I chose to!"

"Suuuuure you can. I´d-a burn you with my fireballs before you even got a chance."

"I´m the fastest thing alive, potato-nose. You´d never see me coming."

"You´d never reach me. I can jump thrice as high as you and can even fly without collecting those cuckoo emeralds of yours first."

"It´s Chaos Emeralds! And you´d need that winged cap to do that, too!"

"You can´t even-a swim. In agua, your spikes turn into spaghetti, no?"

"I´d learn it, just to drown you! You and your annoying accent!"

"Care to prove that...Sonikku?"

"Auuugh! Anytime, Mario!"

"Very well. I´ll challenge-a you for next summer!"

"Agreed. At the Olympic Games, and you better watch out!"

"Right back at cha. Arriverderci..."

They both turned and headed into opposite directions. Then, as if on cue, both stopped and faced each other one last time, yelling simultaneously:

"And then, I´ll beat YOU!"

aaand, another experiment done. Tried to do a fic that consists almost entirely out of dialogue. The most difficult part was to distinguish the speakers if you´re not allowed to write in script format, I hope I managed and you found it amusing.

I also apologize if Mario might be slightly out of character. Thing is, if that guy refuses to talk, capturing his personality is rather hard. I imagine sonic can annoy the hell out of everyone, though, so he´s a little bit ticked off, here. XD

If you read, please review:)