"One Hundred bottles of rum on the wall, one hundred bottles of rum! You take one down, pass it around, ninety-nine bottles of rum on the wall…" Jack sung, swinging his rum bottle and gesturing in a way only he could. He smiled to himself. Him, a bottle of rum, and the sea. Now, if only he's with The Black Pearl, the moment would be perfect.
There was a sudden flash of light that made Jack stop singing. Then he heard a splash. He looked over the starboard side of the dingy. Something black was flailing its arms. Once the thing was within reach Jack pulled it on board.
He stared at it. He poked it like it was the first time he saw something like it (not that he ever did). Jack sniffed the thing. Smells like burnt leather. He was about to lick it when the thing flinched and jerked away.
Jack stared at it blankly. Almost nothing surprises him anymore, after the undead, fish people, the goddess and the locker... "Where'd ye come from mate?"
"A wretched galaxy full of scum and villainy. Where am I?"
"Caribbean mate. Who are you?"
"Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith." Darth Vader offered a hand. Jack took it, and they shook.
"Whoever you are, here." Jack handed him a bottled of rum.
Vader snatched the bottle. "Er, I can't drink this." He knocked on his helmet.
"Oh, right mate." Jack gave him a hollow piece of stick, and Vader sipped the rum. "You looked… troubled, mate. Ye goin' to a funeral? Yer wearin' a lotta black."
Vader looked at Jack, and sorrow seemed to pour out of the emotionless mask. And he started to whine about his life. "I started out as a slave boy in Tatooine with my mom. A couple of Jedi came, and took me to train me. I felt my master was holding me back though… And so I turned to the dark side… I KILLED MY OWN WIFE FOR THE GALAXY'S SAKE! And I can't catch my son, and the Emperor is getting pissed and…"
Jack splashed a bucket of water on Vader. Normally, Vader would choke him to death, but the black-suited was clueless on how to work the dingy. Besides, he didn't want to kill his only company. "Thanks. I needed to stop."
"Don't worry mate, a splash of rum makes everything better. There are plenty for the two of us until the next port." Jack replied, and slapped him on the back.
And they both proceeded to get themselves drunk.
"Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me!" Vader shouted, and then laughed. "Ninety eight bottles of rum on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of rum, you take one down, pass it around, two hundred bottled rum on the wall!" He hiccupped and collapsed in the dingy. Jack looked at him, gulped down the last in his bottle, and went to sleep.