Ok, this is my attempt at humor. My dad actully did this (the whole microwave thing) a while back. Please review and tell me what ya'll think.
"Ow! Alice, that hurt."

"Bella, you're the one who wanted me to do your eyebrows."

"Well, now I don't."

"It doesn't matter now. I'm done."

Edward had told me he had a surprise for me tonight which meant Alice automatically assumed I would want to play Barbie to get ready for the event. It was because of that I was currently now being held prisoner in Alice's over-sized bathroom. Don't get me wrong, I –as well as Edward– always loved the end results of the mini-makeovers. I would just rather that it wasn't so painful to get there.

Alice continued with my primping, applying eye shadow, lip gloss, eyeliner, and other things that would make me look like I belonged next to someone as gorgeous as my fiancé. She had just finish with my make-up and started clipping up my hair to do who-knows-what with it when I smelled something burning. Edward appeared in the doorway. I looked at Alice and her eyes were wide with panic.

I was scooped in to a pair of cold stone arms and carried to the kitchen at vampire speed, where I was than placed on my own two feet. Standing in front of the microwave, which had smoke pouring out of it, was a very guilty looking Emmett standing only in his boxers. Edward ran out of the room and came back a second later, a fire extinguisher in hand. He pushed Emmett out of the way, opened the microwave, and sprayed white foam in to it. Alice opened the back door and all the windows in the room, and soon all the smoke was gone. Then she walked to the microwave and lifted out a foam-covered, burnt piece of fabric.

"Emmett, why are your basketball shorts in the microwave?" she asked, looking slightly scared. I'm sure I did, too.

"Well, um, I, um….."

Edward started laughing, probably reading his brother's thoughts. I looked at him questioningly, as did Alice. He got control of himself and then explained. "Jasper was watering the plants out back for Esme, and Emmett decided to say something stupid to tick him off. It worked and Jasper sprayed him with the hose. Emmett wanted to wear the shorts but didn't know how to work the electric dryer, so he put them in the microwave. Apparently, they caught on fire, and that's when we showed up."

By the time he finished the story we were all on the floor laughing. Emmett just looked down sheepishly. After we sent Emmett to change, Rosalie and Jasper walked in to the room, most likely wondering what caught on fire. We explained the story to them. Of course, they thought it was funny.

Emmett came back into the room, looking embarrassed. Rosalie walked over to her husband and wrapped her arm around his waist, trying to comfort him, I guess.

"Emmett, how can you be 92 years old and not know how to work and electric dryer?" I just had to ask. You would think that in that many years you'd learn things like that.

He just shrugged. "I never needed to before."

"Well, I think a hairdryer would have worked a little better," Alice joked. Edward laughed.

"You know you married an idiot, right, Rosalie?" Jasper asked

"OK, we've had enough fun at Emmett's expense," Rose defended Emmett. "I know he's an idiot, but he's my idiot."

"Aw, thanks, Rose. That's so sweet. I– Hey!" It would seem Emmett's a little slow today.

"See, like I said: idiot," Jasper said.

"That's mean, Jazz," Edward replied. "Idiots have feelings, too."

I listened to their conversation, while Alice pulled me up stairs to finish my makeover.


Please, review!!!!! If you guys want, I'll continue to do funny one shots. I'll be more than happy to do requests.