I felt bad about the abuse I put Kabuto through in my last fanfiction "Get Stoned"... Why must the adorable suffer for my art? So, I wrote him a slightly... Fluffier piece. I'm only a little mean to him in this one. Orochimaru resembles the slightly twisted heart of a child. Naïve to all things love. Twisted as in prone to violence... This is after Kabuto fails in killing or/and retrieving Sasuke, and has just escaped from Kakashi in the hospital by jumping out the window. I couldn't remember if it was opened or closed so I picked one. Though I think it was open. Anyway it's Yaoi-ified so. Straight males beware. I find that's the only group that disapproves of the genre. Because every straight male is secretly or out rightly homophobic.

.LF14.

Kabuto crashed through the window, free falling to the ground with a smirk. Well he hadn't retrieved or kill Sasuke, so he'd failed either way. He was so ready to kill him, then he hesitated a moment to long and missed either chance. Why? Orochimaru wouldn't be happy, so he didn't delay returning. That would just get him deeper in the hole he was digging. He went against THEIR orders by not killing Sasuke, they wouldn't take him back. Orochimaru still believed he was faithful, he would hopefully still have him, with or without the boy. He arrived at the hideout after some time. Orochimaru was waiting in his sitting room. The Sanin looked to him and grinned wickedly, "So, you failed to retrieve the boy, hm?" Kabuto bowed his head about to apologizes, however Orochimaru continued before he could speak, "What surprises me is that you didn't carry out your OTHER orders." Kabuto's eyes widened in horror, "I've suspected you of treason for some time, you know. However, I let my own intentions blind me from the evidence, seeing as you were always so obedient. I liked that, but now I must consider what to do with you." He snapped his fingers and two of his men grabbed Kabuto's arms. Their strong fingers gripped them so tight he couldn't move them, and they blocked the chakra to his hands some how. "So, you are going to be locked in the dungeon, your room search your room, interrogate you, and then I'll decide your fate. Now, off you go." The two men began to drag him out and he became terrified yanking forward so he could go to his knees before the Sanin.

"My lord, I beg of you! Forgive me, I serve only you! Please my lord have mercy on me!" the brutes continued to drag him little by little, the whole time Kabuto begged his master, "Spare me, my lord! Please Orochimaru, I couldn't go against your orders! You are the only one I serve!" He knew it was useless but his mouth wouldn't stop pleading him. Dozens before him had done the same thing, all he had heard and watched as Orochimaru laughed. But to his surprise an unfamiliar look crossed his master's face. It was almost humane and regretful, and definitely confused. It was a feeling that the man wasn't accustom to and it surprised Kabuto he had the capacity for such an emotion. It was gone in a second but it had been there, he knew it had. There was a small glimmer of hope, and that drained the desperation from him, allowing the guards to drag him away. The dungeons were small with a bedroll on the floor to sleep in and a bucket in the corner to piss in. There was a small rectangular window on the top of the back wall to high to reach but if he sat by the bars he could see the sky. Another sign of this strange mercy that had been arouse in the Sanin. He could be on one of the lower floors with know light or ventilation. The guard brought him a small loaf of bread once a day as well as a small bottle of water. The bread was often stale and tasted of sawdust but it sustained him. Hours and days blended together, and eventually he decided that their measurements of time were trivial. He'd decided on a lot of things. When he was finally given a visit from the lord, that marble face smirked cruelly at him through the bars.

"Well, we had a hard time getting in that room of your's. You'll have to teach me that justu of tearing anyone how tries to enter to pieces. I've only managed to disperse it so I could investigate." He shook his head, "I must admit that things aren't looking good for you. Sad really, you were one of my favorites. I'll be down tomorrow to question you. Once I have the right tools." He turned to walk away.

"Do you believe me to be horrible?" Taken aback, Orochimaru did not know what to say, the silence was all the answer that Kabuto needed, "I'm ungrateful and selfish. I've become cruel. There was a time when I could love, laugh, and cry... I don't know if I can do those things anymore."

"No, you still can." Orochimaru said not looking at the broken shinobi. "That is the curse of humanity."

"I will no longer have a purpose. Do you know what that's like?" But the Sanin had left him with the cockroaches and mice. "I expected as much." he looked to the ceiling and smiled slightly. In his cell, he found Orochimaru was almost always on his mind. Everything brought up a thought or a memory of his soon to be former lord. When those were all you had it was strange to have him being the soul occupant of them. He could remember the last time he'd touched him, it was a literal slap to the face. He never thought he'd want to see Orochimaru so badly. He had counted the steps as he walked away and he got a sharp pain in his chest once he was gone. He realized he missed him. The one who had imprisoned him in this place. He didn't know how much time passed but it felt like an eternity, an eternity of loneliness. What could have been then next day or the next year came at a snail's pace. The door down the hallway opened and Kabuto gripped the bars trying to see all the way down the hall. Orochimaru entered the corridor he was on and stopped at his door, a guard opened the door and grabbed Kabuto roughly, causing the Sanin to frown silently. The guard shoved a bottle of clear liquid to his lips and cause him to swallow. He retreated from the cell and closed the door, once again locking him in.

"You know what that was?" Kabuto shook his head, standing and clutching the bars, "It was that truth cerium you developed for me. The kind that lowers the filtering mechanism of the brain. You won't be able to think through responses." Kabuto's eyes widened, "I was gonna torture you, but this is far less tedious. I need to know what you've told them."

"That wasn't my mission. I was only to get close to you, learn of your plans and then stop them. I failed. I hesitated then ran. I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"And why is that?"

"You had ordered me to bring him alive. I was physically unable to go against your orders. I wanted your approval, sir. I still do. You have given me purpose and hope. That is something no one else has ever given me. I live to serve you. You are the only thing that I can keep on my mind." He wanted to stop himself but he couldn't, he just kept talking, as he spilled his heart. "I want to be near you and to be dominated by you. I want you to mess with my mind, use me as you see fit. Without you I'd have nothing to live for." Finally the words stopped but a few sentences to late. Orochimaru stared at him, flustered. It almost made him look less twisted, and less worn. He stood and retreated down the hall again as if chased by the worse demons of hell. And Kabuto sat alone in his cell, embarrassed and scared. He would die, but how, quick and painless or painfully delayed death? He fell to the floor as tears formed in his eyes, "Come back. Come back and look at me! Your killing me, Orochimaru! Come and break me down!" He leaned his head back, his call reminiscent of the howl of a wounded animal, "Kill me NOW!" Kabuto scooted to the back wall. "Orochimaru... If you won't do it then I will. It hurts so much. Like there's a weight on my chest. I'll use my own chakra to stop my heart." He focused on his heart beat, forcing it to slow down more and more. Over the course of the day he got it to be less and less. Soon he felt lightheaded, his heart beating less than twice every ten seconds. On the edge of consciousness he set his chakra up so that after he pasted out he'd it would slow until it stopped. Suddenly through the haze he heard a cry a high pitched hiss of sorts. Some more shouting and the squeak of the hinges on his cell door. Someone slapped him and shook him frantically, breaking his what little concentration he had left and the chakra mechanism he was building inside. Then his heart beat quicken and everything went black.

Kabuto had past out before, many time, and it was no surprise that when he came to and tried to sit up the room spun, resulting in his head smashing back into the pillow. The female nurse next to him got up quickly, looking scared. She ran from the room and he stared after her. He was in the infirmary, an all white room with large windows. It smelled of cleaning products and latex. This time he sat up slowly and propped himself up on the headboard. Suddenly their were raised voices outside.

"Sir, if you want him to recover fully you'll let him rest-"

"I don't want him to make a full recovery! I want to ring that scrawny neck of his, now stay out of my way!" The door flew open and Orochimaru entered with a look of fury at such a magnitude that Kabuto had never seen before, causing him to freeze in terror. The man stomped over to him and slapped him, hard. "You idiot!" He grabbed Kabuto's shoulders and shook him violently, "You son of a bitch, what did you think you were doing? What possessed you to do such a moronic thing to yourself? Bastard, answer me!" He stopped shaking him and sniffed. Kabuto risked a look at him and stared. Tears streaked down the Sanin's white face, relief filling his face. "Damn it, you said you served me and you can't disobey my orders! So tell me, when did I tell you to kill yourself?!?!"

"Forgive me, my lord." He said looking back down at the sheets, his voice shaking, "I will not act without your consent again."

Orochimaru's features slackened and he wiped the tears away quickly, "Good." he let him go and raked his fingers through his hair, "Do you know how tiresome you are? You are to work for me ONLY from now on." He stood, turned stiffly and walked out. Kabuto trembled violently, still in fear of his master's wrath. Once the nurse came back in, this time with food. She too looked shaken from Orochimaru's outburst and when their eyes met she looked away, and retreated. Suddenly something occurred to him that hadn't during the Sanin's tirade. Orochimaru's outburst had been of concern. He'd been worried about him and he was ecstatic about it. His master cared for him and his enthusiasm was restored. Not much more to do but eat the bland tasting food the sick ward had to offer and then get some sleep.

That night he was released and allowed back to his room. The place looked as if it had been torn up by hounds, which was a distinct possibility. He sighed and began the painstaking task of reorganizing his medical books, diagrams and papers. He remade his bed and put the pens back in the cup he kept them in. Slowly the room became tidy once again and he could finally- "Kabuto," Someone knocked, in the open doorway. The latch had been kicked in and no longer remained shut, "The boss wishes to speak with you."

His eyes snapped to the messenger but he was already gone. What'd he want? Probably to tell him his fate. A desk job, probably. Nothing to hands on. He stood brushing, off the dust. Orochimaru's office was huge, his desk sitting in the middle with a chair in front of it. He opened the door and Orochimaru waved him in and he shut it, walking behind the seat and gripping the back, waiting. But Orochimaru didn't tell him to sit. Instead he stood, walking around the desk and leaning against it. Staring at the floor, "Do you know why you are here?" He shook his head and the older man continued, "Good cause neither do I." The Sanin lifted himself up onto the desk and folded his hands.

"Sir?"

"You see, there's something wrong with me Kabuto. For years I taught myself not to feel things, nothing but cruelty and anger. The problem I am facing now is, in punishing you I felt guilt and remorse, and in finding you on the verge of death I felt scared. More scared than I've ever been in my life." He wrung his hands nervously, "Lastly, in the hospital room, I was more concerned and relieved then angry when I'd heard you'd awoken. That's an awful lot of feeling... But enough of that.." Kabuto kept his head down staring at the seat so he couldn't see him turning red, "Right now I must find something to do with you. If my enemies find out that they could control me in the slightest way by using you... Well, I'd just have to have you killed." Kabuto's grip on the back of the chair tightened, "I'm sure you already knew most of what I just told you. And playing coy won't fool me. But what you probably don't know is," He stood and walked to the front of the chair. When Kabuto didn't look up, he took his chin between his thumb and index and gently lifted his head. His master was smiling, "That declaration of loyalty in that cell made my skin crawl." Kabuto went to retreat but the Sanin chuckled, "In a good way, my dear boy, in a good way." that only caused him to turn red, still unable to speak. "You see, with you, for the first time in ever so long I feel the good things again. The ones I never desperately missed but their absence has made me seem..." He looked to the ceiling thinking of a way to phrase it.

Kabuto knew, "Less than human."

Orochimaru smirked, "Usually a good thing... But it scares everyone I try to get close to away..." He kneeled on the chair to be closer to him, "Everyone except you. I'm just curious as to why."

Kabuto was aware of the closeness of Orochimaru and aware that he was extremely red and really wanted to run away. However his feet were firmly planted to the spot, refusing the orders from his brain to run for the hills while he still could, "I... Um..." His brain was frozen on the um's and the I's and repeated several of them before Orochimaru burst out laughing.

"You are a gem, Kabuto! I am glad I decided to keep you. You are by far my favorite toy." he then leaned in and kissed him. For a moment he just stood there, eyes wide in surprise. But soon after he could no longer resist warm breath of his master and his lips parted under his and his eyes slowly closed. It was a good kiss, sending a warm sensation to every part of his body. It was strange and unfamiliar but for the first time he no longer cared. In fact he could focus on not a single thought, instead they melted together into one pile of nothing but Orochimaru and how to get closer to him. He flung himself over the chair and they crashed back into his desk, all his shyness gone. The Sanin raked his fingers through his silver hair, yanking out his ponytail and skewing his glasses until they fell off. Once he came up for air, he found himself in a strange place; On top.

Orochimaru pulled on his pants and sat in the chair behind his desk, watching Kabuto with a strange look on his face. One he'd never seen on his master's face before. He pulled his shirt over his head and tugged it down. The Sanin becked him over and he came, sitting facing him on his lap. He put his elbows on the older mans shoulders and bent to eye level, the Sanin tilted his head to the side, "This feeling is so strange. I could chop of ninety infants heads I'm so ecstatic. I wonder if it has a name or if my mind made this up just for you."

Kabuto laughed, it was the silliest thing he'd ever heard. A sickening kind of sweet, "Lord Orochimaru, don't tell me you've fallen for me!"

"Fallen?" He asked truly confused.

Kabuto answered his inquiry before he could say he'd never tripped him, "In love you, you fool!" he was bubbling, this morning he'd been ready to die and he was still ready to die for Orochimaru. At least if he died now, he'd be the happiest corpse in the graveyard, instead of hiding in shame for eternity.

"I've never been in love before. How should I know what it's like?"

"I don't know. I can't explain it because it's different for everyone." There was a pause and they just looked in each others eyes. The moments ticked away and the hour struck eleven. "I really should get back to my room." He snuck in one last luxurious kiss, and smiled, "Whether you decide it's love or not, I'll still love you. And that's why you can't scare me away. Scare me, yes. But never away." He stood and grabbed his glasses from the table, "Good night, my lord." He left the room leaving Orochimaru to his thoughts.

Which troubled the Sanin to no end. He was still trying to determine what love was to him. Kabuto's presences hung in the air so thickly when he breathed in he felt like he was breathing soup. Never had he felt so peaceful. However, this was not behavior conducive to the annihilation of the leaf village. It would have to be a treat for him down the road. A little sinful indulgence for his victories... And perhaps comfort for his defeats. His night guard came to escort him back to his room and he let out a sigh of contentment. He thought about what Kabuto said about love. And how it meant something different to everyone. Kabuto was a lot wiser than he'd thought.