Disclaimer: Obviously don't own Naruto.

Legend: "Yo" Normal speech

"Yo" Demon/summon speech

Yo Normal thought

Yo Demon/Inner self thoughts


It had been a long three years. In that time a young boy grew into a young man. A man whose childish antics gave way to a mature side, still at times another side would surface, his perverted side. This side came into being due to the nature of the man the boy travelled with being not just a pervert, but the self proclaimed god of the perverts. Of course this would rub off on the boy after being together for three years. While he wasn't as bad as the older man himself, he was a couple notches below him on the totem pole of perverseness.

With the gates of his home coming into sight, it was time to put up the serious side of him. He wasn't ready to go back. He had things that still had to be done before he could call this place home again.

"It's great to be finally coming home isn't it," the man said to the boy walking behind him.

He didn't receive an answer, only silence.


Nothing again, the old man hated to be ignored, especially by the brat that was his companion. Turning, Jiraiya prepared to smack the boy for ignoring him. What he found was nothing, Naruto was nowhere in sight.

"Damn it Gaki, where the hell did you go off to?"

Jiraiya didn't sense the presence behind him, but he felt a thump at the base of his skull and watched as the blackness over took him.

"Sorry old man, but I'm not ready to go back yet," Naruto said to himself as he looked down at the unconscious form of his teacher.

Now he realized that he had a bit a predicament on his hands. He couldn't just leave this man where he laid, but he couldn't carry him to Konoha. If he did that he would have lost the chance to leave again. It was then it him.

Quickly biting his thumb and performing a seal he muttered, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu," and slammed his hand into the ground.

"Yo boss!" a small toad said the ground before him.

"Hey Gamakichi, what have you been up to?"

"Not much, screwing around, chasing girls, you know the usual, you?"

"Pretty much the same thing, but we can talk about that later. I need a favor from you."

"Sure thing, what do ya need?"

"I need you to deliver a message for me to the Hokage, tell her that Ero-Sennin is passed out outside of town and someone needs to carry his heavy ass back."

The little toad looked at Naruto for a moment before giving him a salute and jumped towards Konoha. Once he was out of sight, Naruto turned to the old man. Now that was being taken care of, he had one more thing to do before he left. Chuckling to himself he walked over to Jiraiya's pack and looked inside for the tool he would need. Smiling a bit wider when he found it, he turned back to the old man. A sinister smile gracing his face.


Today was not going to be a good day. It started out nice, but by the time Tsunade arrived at her office she could see that this day was going to just suck. There, on her desk, was a fresh pile of paperwork. She remembered completely finishing all her paperwork the night prior, but somehow more appeared to take its place the next day. Heaving a sigh, she dragged herself behind her desk and dipped her quill to begin the torture feared by all Kages.

After about thirty pages in, she felt that little tug inside her. Her body's way of letting her know it was time for a drink. Reaching for the drawer that held her usual stash, she threw the clock on a wall a quick glance. Noting that it was only half passed nine, she pulled her hand away from the drawer. It was too early to be drinking, and she sure as hell didn't need to be reprimanded by the council for drinking on the job. 'God, why did I even take this job?' she thought to herself as she finished another piece of paper work. She didn't even notice the bit of weight on her head.


"Huh, who said that?" she said, as she looked around the room.

"Up here, you old bat."

Looking up she couldn't see the source of the voice, god help the person who made that remark when she found him. It was then she noticed a little toad hand waving in front of her eyes. Reaching up, she grabbed the little demon and began to squeeze.


Gamakichi couldn't say anything at the moment, due to being strangled.

"You called me old!" Tsunade growled and she continued squeezing. Then a poof and a crack was heard and her hands were filled with the remnants of a sake bottle.

"Man I got to thank Naruto for showing me how to use substitution. Never thought I would've had to use it here though."

Tsunade glanced at the toad through tear filled eyes. She had unknowingly crushed the last bottle she had in her office.

"Sorry about that, but bro sent me to give you a message, sorry about your booze, but can't have you killing the messenger can we?" the toad said with a smirk.

Hearing that Naruto sent the toad to give her a message, she quickly forgot about the bottle. Disposing of the glass, she gestured for the toad to continue.

"Naruto sent me to tell you that the old man passed out and would need someone to carry as Naruto put it the 'fat ass' back here."

Tsunade chuckled at the reference to her former teammate.

"I guess I could send someone," she threw a quick glance at her remaining paperwork, "or I could just go get them myself, and escape this hell for a little while, that sound like a plan?"

Gamakichi nodded and jumped onto her shoulder. With him to lead her, Tsunade made way for the window. Using Jiraiya's usual entrance as an escape.


Naruto was a few miles outside of Konoha, not sure which direction he should go to first. He knew that Tsunade would receive his message and would understand. Hopefully she would be able to talk the council out of making him into a Nukenin. Stopping to give him a chance to think about where he was going to do, and how he was going to make money. He realized that he had yet to receive his payment from his first C class mission. With that in mind he turned towards the Land of the Waves and began to run.


Jiraiya was hurting and a little bit chilly. He started to get up from where he laid but stopped when his vision began to spin. Giving him a moment to gain his bearings he looked around himself for signs of his assailant, finding none he looked at his situation. He was alone; naked as the day he was born, in the middle of the road leading to Konoha, not a good situation, especially if someone finds him like this. Looking around he noticed that his bag was off to the side of the road. Running to it, he poured out the contents hoping the scroll that he sealed his extra clothes into was still there. Unfortunately for him it was gone.

"I'm going to kill that little bastard, when I see him, but first I'll strip him and tie him to the wall in the female side of the hot springs," he muttered to himself.

"Jiraiya?" said a voice from behind him.

Not paying attention to his current situation, he spun and prepared for an attack. What he found was no enemy, but might as well been. Before him was the only person he truly loved and feared, Tsunade.

"Tsuna-hime, what are you doing here?" Jiraiya asked as he quickly covered himself.

"Well," she paused and glanced over Jiraiya, "I received a message from Naruto that you were unconscious and needed help getting you back home. Where is your clothes and for that matter, where is the little runt?"

It clicked then for Jiraiya. He knew who his assailant was. The reason for the attack was still a mystery though. He would worry about it later. Right now he had to figure out how to tell Tsunade without risking bodily harm. Going against his better judgment, he just got it out.

"He left after he knocked me out, I don't know where he could have gone."

"He what?! How could you have let him go? You know there are people out to get him. That boy has more enemies now than most ninja do by the time they retired!" she screamed while smacking Jiraiya silly.

"Ow! Damn it, stop hitting me Tsunade, you don't think I know that?" Jiraiya said as he attempted to defend himself from her blows, "I believe in the kid, he's old enough to handle himself."

Tsunade paused from her beating to glare at the man. "How can you be so sure?"

"Well he spent three years training with the best ninja in the world you know?" Jiraiya said, puffing his chest out a bit.

"Really? Could you point him out to me, because I don't see him," Tsunade deadpanned, causing Jiraiya to drop his shoulders and wipe away a small tear.

"That was harsh," he mumbled under his breath.

Tsunade put a comforting hand on his shoulder, feeling a little bad for saying that comment. "Did he at least leave a note?"

"I didn't find one in my pack but maybe I missed it, I'll go through it again to be sure."

Tsunade watched as Jiraiya rummaged through his bag, throwing things over his shoulder as he did. It was then she noticed something peculiar about Jiraiya's back side. 'He didn't…' she walked closer getting a better look of Jiraiya's ass, 'oh my god he did!'

"Jiraiya could you stand up please, I need to check something."

Jiraiya looked over his shoulder at his teammate strangely but complied. Tsunade quickly knelt down and examined something leaving Jiraiya to think of what she could possibly want to check, and then it hit him. There could be only one thing she could check in her position. 'Oh lord no, not that, I had that checked months ago!'

Tsunade was oblivious to her teammate's thoughts, but she did notice him sweating a bit more. She was too busy reading Naruto's 'note' which consisted of a few sentences inked onto his mentor's ass, to care.

'Baa-Chan, sorry for leaving you two like this, but there was things I still needed to do by myself. While I'm not sure how long it will be before I return, there is one thing I can promise. I will still keep in touch. Once you finish this, you can tell the old man what I said. I'll be far enough distance away that neither of you can catch up.

P.S. See other cheek'

Tsunade looked at the message for a moment, and then turned to other cheek to see something written on it.

'Don't tell the old man, but I swapped his "research" for a manuscript from his yaoi counterpart. Think of it as payback for snagging my wallet in the last village. I don't want him to know till he unseals the scroll, so do me a favor and place a chakra enhanced pinch under this message to make it fade away. He he paybacks are great.'

Tsunade couldn't help but smile at the antics of her younger 'brother'. He always had a way to make her feel better. With a smirk, she focused a bit of her chakra into her thumb and fore finger and gave Jiraiya a mighty pinch.

"Ow!" he screeched, and turned to face the one who pinched him. While he was expecting much worse, he wasn't ready for that.

"Naruto left a message, say he'll be gone for awhile," Tsunade said while putting on an innocent face.

"What message? I didn't see any message."

Tsunade tried to keep a straight face but was losing the battle. Jiraiya then realized what she was looking at. Peering over his shoulder he could see ink. 'I'm going to fucking kill him!'

"Well Jiraiya, I think it's time we headed back. It won't be long before Shizune notices I'm not in my office."

Jiraiya nodded and quickly henged into a clothed version of himself, then started following behind Tsunade.

"Hey Jiraiya," Tsunade said, not bothering to turn around, "I see you still have that scar."

At that moment, Jiraiya wanted one thing. He wanted to disappear off the face of the planet.


It had been a hard two days of running, but Naruto found himself in the land of wave. Staring at a bridge that was named after him.

"Wow" he said to no one in particular.

Looking back and forth he could see the town had picked up drastically since the completion of the bridge. Everywhere was signs of a healthy economy. He could rows of street merchants and shoppers busily walking from one to another. 'I need to see Tazuna and ask some questions, but there are two people I need to see first.' Knowing his destination, Naruto began the walk to his first two friends' graves.

It wasn't long before he could see where the graves lay. As he got closer, he could see someone paying their respects, but he still couldn't make out the identity of the person. Thinking the worse, Naruto went into stealth mode. Suppressing his chakra, he jumped into the bushes that lined the path and slowly made his toward the kneeling man. When he was close enough, he moved a branch and got a look at the man. Instantly his blood ran cold and his body seemed to stop all functions. 'What is he doing here!?'


A/N: Woot, another story up. For the readers of my other stories, I apologize for not updating my stories. My summer class was kicking my ass and I needed to focus on the important things first. Word of advice for those in college, never take an English literature class during the summer. Three months work that needed to be done in five weeks? That's just evil. As always reviews and inputs are welcome. Word of warning this story takes place in an alternate universe so somethings will not happen as they did in canon. There will be some out of contexts and whatnot. I'm sure people will be happy with my kind of spin on things. There is no pairings as of yet but I have a good idea about two of them. What they are? Well you're going to have to read to find out. Quick question, can anyone figure out what scar Tsunade was referring to? The only hint, it's a type of scar a man can receive, especially one's from Jewish families. Until next time.