A/N: So very bored. This hasn't been a great day. It's so boring today! I don't know why. It's, like, the air is full of boring! Only good thing today is that I managed to watch a good amount of Lucky Star before my headphones broke. That sucked, since my little sister is using my speakers to watch Harry Potter OVER AND OVER AGAIN and she's probably never gonna be done. Not like any of the Harry Potter movies were any good anyway. Sucks so bad.
DISCLAIMER: Gimme some new headphones so I can get back to my life!
By Black Archangel
Jupiter rushed into the limo chair room. "What, what?" she asked.
Mars was lying down on the limo chair, curling up into a little bar. "...Why?" she asked. "Why must it be this way?"
"W-why must what be that way?" asked Jupiter.
"BAKA! Are you stupid?!" shouted Mars, slapping Jupiter upside the head.
"Owwies..." said Jupiter, tearing up.
"Waaaaaaah..." said Mars. "It's terrible, Jupi-chan... Those traitors! It's the spies, I tells ya, the spies!"
"What have they done this time?" asked Jupiter.
"THEY'VE REINCARNATED ME INTO A CANDY BAR!!!" sceamed Mars.
"W-what?!" exclaimed Jupiter.
"Here," said Mars sadly, pressing a candy bar into Jupiter's hands.
"Ooh, a Mars Bar!" cheered Jupiter. "Domo arigato, Mars-sama!"
"W-wait!" shouted Mars. "N-no! Don't-"
"Jupiter, how could you?!" screamed Mars.
"How could I what?" asked Jupiter, taking another bite of Mars Bar.
"Urk! No! The pain..." whined Mars.
"Where does it hurt?" she asked.
"Everywhere, you idiot!"
"You're eating me!"
"NANI?!" screamed Jupiter, horrified.
"That Mars Bar..." said Mars slowly.
"They turned you into a candy bar?!" she asked, totally freaked out.
"No, when I come back in the next life I will be a candy bar," said Mars. "And you just ate me in the next life! That means after I die again I will come back as a Tangela!"
"...Why Tangela?" asked Jupiter.
"I don't know, it just clicks somehow," admitted Mars. "Anyway, you should stop eating! I heard they're making Jupiter Taffy too! That'll be you in the next life! Quick, Jupiter! Save yourself! Take all the Jupiter Taffy and store it some place nobody will look!"
"Got it!" replied Jupiter, who came back wheeling a huge cart of taffies. "Where should I put it?"
"Ravaged Path!" shouted Mars. "Nobody ever goes there!"
"Okay!" called Jupiter, running off to drop off the candy.
When Jupiter came back, Mars was still working.
"You haven't moved your candy yet?" asked Jupiter.
"It's worse," said Mars. "At this rate, everybody, Saturn and Cyrus and those random grunts, will all be turned into candy when they die..."
"No!" shouted Jupiter.
"Quickly!" ordered Mars. "We must take all the candy and store it some place safe so that they'll never be eaten!"
They left HQ carrying an insane amount of candy, dropping it in random places all across Sinnoh. Except Twinleaf. That's a hick town. (1)
"How do we know who is who?" asked Jupiter.
"Saturn is all boring and nobody likes him!" declared Mars. "Therefore he must be the Almond Joys! Cyrus is a mean emo kid, so he must be the super duper ultra dark chocolate wonder balls! And nobody else really matters, because those stupid grunts act like stupid little jerks!"
"Right!" exclaimed Jupiter, and pumped a fist.
One week later...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Mars and Jupiter together, seeing their future selves getting devoured by a pack of Zubats.
A/N: I had no idea where this one came from. Like, I got the idea that Mars starts freaking out over Mars Bars, but I have no clue where the whole, "reincarnation" thing comes from. Anybody gotta straitjacket? I like how they're all shiny, you know...
1. At one point they really did call Twinleaf a "hick town".