Chapter 6: The Gorge of Eternal Peril
Author's Note: Ekoaleko, Awesome Rapidash, and naru-chan13: You people make me happy. XD Love for you all.
OMG I found this chapter among the crap on my computer. x3 I almost killed myself laughing at my weirdtastic writing. I own Monty Python and the Holy Grail as much as I own Harvest Moon and the planet Jupiter. Which, in case you didn't know, is not at all. xD Enjoy! And also, I promise to make the next chapter longer. I feel like such a hypocrite. I hate it when chapters of stories are so short and here I am, writing a story with excessively short chapters. -whacks self with Bat of Enlightenment- Until next time.
Jill was skipping along the village street when...
"Um. Sorry, just a quick interruption here..." Jill looked at her feet, then whipped her head back up at the narrator with glaring eyes. "I'm doing WHAT?!?"
Skipping. You're skipping along the village street, and then...
"Skipping. SKIPPING? You want me to SKIP? Do you know how GIRLY that is?"
You are a girl.
"I - but... ----, that's beside the point," she snapped. "I am not skipping. You cannot make me. If you do, I swear, I will hunt you down in your sleep and -"
This scene has been deleted for certain reasons. Please enjoy a happy scene from elsewhere in the village.
"-and then I'll take my lovely sharp sickle and rip apart your-"
Ahem. A happy scene from elsewhere in the village.
It was a beautiful day in Flower Bud Village. Basil, the wandering plant hunter, was enjoying a leisurely walk in the mountains. The sound of the river became audible as he approached the bridge.
Suddenly, an old guy dressed in rags jumped out from behind a nearby rock and blocked Basil's path.
"STOP!" he shouted, scaring the crap out of poor Basil. "He who wishes to cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see!"
Basil blinked. "What the ---- are you doing, Terry? Did you take your medication today?"
The old man ignored him. "WHAT is your name?"
"WHAT is your quest?"
"I seek the Holy... I mean, plants. I'm looking for stupid plants."
"I see. And WHAT is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
Basil rolled his eyes. "African or European swallow?" he sighed, growing impatient.
"European swallow," Terry replied.
"What? This wasn't in the movie! How am I supposed to know that?" Basil spluttered. He made a mental note to research this stuff, because contrary to popular belief it actually DID come in sense at some points.
Terry laughed. "Ha! Into the Gorge of Eternal Peril with you!"
The old man grabbed Basil by the legs and tried to lift him up and toss him into the river. Unfortunately, because Terry was a geezer, he unceremoniously threw out his back and dropped to the ground with a sound that greatly resembled that of a squeaking door.
Basil stepped out of Terry's grip, shrugged, and continued on his way.
We now return to your regularily scheduled crap. I mean fanfiction.
"-and then I'll DOUSE YOUR PUNY REMAINS IN ACID! MUAHAHAHA YOU SHALL PERISH AT MY HANDS! HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!"
Never mind. We'll just wait till next chapter, or at least until the narrator can find a hiding place.
I don't get paid enough for this.