Ironic

An unusual take on the cliched, timeless Masked Ball. DH compliant...sort of.

-- --

"It's meant to be ironic."

"What?"

"My costume. It's meant to be ironic. Get it?"

"Get what?"

"I'm Harry Potter. See?"

"You're who?"

"Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. He who conquered Voldemort. See the green eyes? Black hair? Scar?"

"Your eyes aren't usually green?"

"…"

"Huh. Well, that's awkward."

"Who are you supposed to be, anyway?"

"Jane Austen."

"The curator?"

"…"

"Oh, the muggle author."

"Yes."

"I didn't know she was a redhead."

"She's not."

"Your hair is red."

"It is."

"Well."

"I couldn't find the dye. Or a spell."

"You don't look like Jane Austen."

"It's the hair."

"Yeah."

-- --

"And who are you supposed to be?"

"Blonde hair? Grey eyes? Bleach? It's obvious."

"Not really."

"I'm Draco Malfoy!"

"Huh?"

"You know, the only surviving teenage Death Eater."

"That's really awkward."

"Why? Oh no."

"Yes."

"This is not what it looks like! Ginny! Come back!"

-- --

"Hermione, Harry's gay,"

"What?"

"It's true! He's here, dressed as Draco Malfoy."

"He is?"

"And Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Draco Malfoy is here too."

"And?"

"He's Harry Potter."

"What?"

"His costume is designed to portray Harry James Potter. The Boy Who Lived."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

-- --

"Ginny, you have it all wrong…oh hi Hermione."

"Hello Harry."

"Well anyway Ginny—"

"Potter! You stole my costume idea!"

"What? I didn't steal anything."

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I didn't!"

"YES YOU DID!"

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"Hermione?"

"Yeah Ginny?"

"Let's go."

"Yes, let's."

-- --

"And then he comes dressed as me."

"No way."

"I know! Who'd want to dress like Draco Malfoy?"

"It was ironic!"

"You know what's really ironic?"

"What?"

"Ginny's snogging Malfoy."

"What?"

"Apparently he makes a better you than you do."

"Well, some good can come out of this."

"What good could possibly come out of this?"

"Hermione looks interested."

"And how is that good?"

"…"

"How is that not good?"

"Oh. Good point."

-- --

"It wasn't that bad,"

"Yes it was."

"How did Ron feel?"

"Ron? Well, he was disappointed at first, but he got over it."

"The fact that Auntie Hermione kissed you?"

"No, the fact that she fancied Malfoy."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"That's strange."

"I know."

"Oh, and Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"'Night."

"'Night."

-- --

a/n—well, how was that? Significantly different from my usual? I think so. In the end, Harry's talking to any one of his three children, although I personally think either James or Albus would work best. Ron doesn't actually say anything…the Harry-consoler is, surprisingly, either Dean or Seamus. Or both, actually, come to think of it. I figure George or Ron wouldn't work too well here.

Peaches,

Anya

...reviews have stipulated that my readers are confused...observe.

Part I-Draco et Ginny talking,

Part II-Ginny et Harry

Part III-Hermione et Ginny

Part IV-Ginny et Hermione et Harry et Draco

Part V-Harry et Dean et Seamus

Part VI-Harry et Albus/James.

All clear? If not, I'll just send you the version with who says what, although it's not as effective in my opinion.