Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Number 8 in the Holiday Chaos series (the first is St. George's Day if you want to start at the beginning). It helps if you've read the others--at least Pink Day. I'm sorry to all of you who have waited so long for a new one. Work is evil and we had a family tragedy about a month ago followed by an almost tragedy so things have been hectic. I have a new computer though, so that's fun.

Archeology Day

by JDPhoenix

"You're insane," Anton chuckled pushing his shovel deep into the dirt.

"Of course I'm insane," Tommy grunted, heaving another clump over his shoulder. "I've been five Rangers, four colors; I have a clone who founded the town I live in; I'm on a first name basis with four of my old mortal enemies; and I travel outside of the solar system at least once a year."

"No," Anton said, "I meant about leaving Kimberly."

"I'll be back before nightfall and I'll bring Alberto's. She'll be eating out of my hand."

A voice from overhead chuckled. "More like eating your hand."

Tommy and Anton looked up sharply, shielding their eyes against the noonday sun which had the audacity to sit directly above the hole they were standing in.

"What was that, Trent?" Anton asked.

"Kim's throwing a fit--warn a guy before he goes to your house looking for you, by the way. I don't think pregnancy sits well with her."

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

Tommy shot his friend a glare but turned back to Trent. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in New York?"

Trent sat on the edge of the hole and sighed. "Blake called."

"Ooh." Tommy and Anton cringed.

"He's worried and thinks I should be too."

"Xander's not that bad," Tommy said. He had met the self-confident Green Ranger shortly after he and Adam had helped the Overdrive Rangers. The group had stopped at Tommy's house on the way to Angel Grove both to let a worried Alpha examine Kim and to ask what the odds were of Tommy having a time machine in his secret lab--Sentinel Knight had not sent Bridge back to the future before fusing with the sword and he couldn't channel the precise amount of energy needed for time travel through his new form; plus, Time Force was being persnickety just because Jen had decided to move 1000 years in the past.

"And anyway," Tommy continued, "there's only one Xander and two girls--he can only steal one of them."

Trent groaned. Anton shot Tommy a look. Not helping.

"Come on, son," Anton said, grabbing the rope he and Tommy had thankfully remembered to drop into the hole and pulling himself up. "Let's go see about saving your girlfriend."

"What about Archeology Day?" Tommy whined.

Anton froze halfway up the rope and looked down at Tommy. "You're kidding, right?"

Tommy sighed and took hold of the rope. "At least tell me there's an insane plan involved."

"Where are they now?" Anton asked, ignoring Tommy and dusting himself off.

"Adam's stupid dojo," Trent sulked.

"Good."

Tommy stepped back when he saw the look on Anton's face--apparently that was where Trent learned how to be evil.


"Bored?" Tori asked, handing Kira a soda and flopping down on the couch beside her.

"Completely. I never thought not fighting evil would be so hard."

"It's better than helping with the baby craziness."

"You'd think no Ranger ever had a baby before."

Bridge appeared suddenly, sliding onto the coffee table in front of the girls. "Actually, Ranger children are very rare. Some believe that it's because Ranger's just don't bother to settle down or because all those hits to the--er, lower regions leave Rangers with less to work with after their world saving days are done. But some people think it has something to do with the Power. When a Ranger becomes pregnant the Power works overtime to protect her and her child. Cultures that believe the Power is the guiding force of the universe claim that the Power simply does not have the wherewithal to protect too many Ranger children at once and so only allows one Ranger pregnancy at a time."

Tori and Kira turned to each other and back to Bridge. Kira said, "Ashley's pregnant again."

"Oh," Bridge said. He perked up quickly. "Well, there goes that theory." He hopped off the table and hurried into the kitchen--it was time for toast.

"So," Xander said smoothly, walking into the room, "you two are only helping get Bridge back to the future so that you can avoid Kim's baby shower?"

"We don't need Bridge. We have lives--" Tori began.

"And boyfriends," Kira added.

"And husbands."

"It's not that we don't want to help, it's just that this is a really good excuse."

"And we get to spend more time together. It seems like every time we tried hanging out before there was some evil."

"It's fine with me," Xander said, sitting on the edge of the coffee table and looking around worriedly. "I need your help."

The girls leaned in, suddenly very interested.

"With what?" Tori asked.

"And why can't you ask Vida and Madison?" Kira said.

"Because they'll--I just can't. Promise you'll never tell a soul?"

"Ranger's honor."


"This is insane," Tommy said. He was currently clinging to the outside wall of Adam's dojo--invisible.

Anton's voice sounded in his ear--apparently this rich genius carried sophisticated communication devices in his car, "You're the one who proudly proclaimed his insanity not two hours ago."

Tommy could hear Trent snickering in the background and wanted to punch him. Instead he released his grip on the rain gutter and leapt five feet to grab onto the window. He grunted, pulling himself up so he could see into the staff room. Xander was sitting before a very compassionate Tori and Kira.

"Do you see anything yet?" Trent asked.

Kira reached out and patted Xander's shoulder.

"No," Tommy lied.

"Tommy," Anton said firmly, "you do know that you're talking to two previously very evil men. We know what lies sound like."

"It's nothing important."

"Is it Kira?" Trent asked, the intensity of his voice barely masking the worry.

"No?"

"Damn," Anton said. "Why did you and Hayley have to figure out a way to give them back their powers?"

"It wasn't my idea," Tommy complained. "Why?"

"Trent's on his way there to see for himself."

Tommy swore. "You'd better get over here, and call Jason--we may have a Ranger war to break up."

Anton groaned.


"I'm sure it's not your fault, Xander," Tori said.

"Yeah," Kira added, patting Xander on the shoulder. "The heart chooses who it will. She didn't mean to hurt you." Kira perked up a bit. "Ooh."

An ice cube from the nearby sodas hit Kira's cheek. Tori mouthed, "Don't even think about it."

Kira frowned but went back to comforting Xander--her muse could wait.

"She didn't," Xander said. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean, 'not exactly'?" Kira asked, pulling away.

"Well, I was never really interested in her, I just flirted. But I never thought I could lose a girl to--to a troblin, no offense to Phineas," he added quickly. "And then all the available girls were going after Chip, Heaven only knows why. So I started spending more of my free time in Rootcore--studying spells, helping rebuild. And then, one day, I looked up and there it was."

"What?" Tori asked.

"Love. I had never thought of Claire as anything more than a bumbling sorceress in training. She was a friend, sure, but she was nothing more than that. And then she wasn't."

"Xander," Tori said and gave him a one armed hug. Kira followed suit.

"Usurper!" an angry voice cried and a blur jumped out from behind the big screen TV to tackle Xander.

Tori and Kira jumped onto the couch, unsure of whether or not they should get involved. Tommy jumped through the small window, sending glass falling into the room and getting his still invisible self stuck halfway. Anton ran into the room, followed closely by Adam, Bridge, and Alpha.

Anton took one look at the men wrestling on the floor and yelled, "Trent!" in his most commanding voice.

"Yeah?" Trent asked, appearing beside Kira on the couch.

"Trent!" Kira cried, happily throwing her arms around him.

"If you're not attacking Xander…" Anton let it hang.

"Come on," Adam said, nodding to Trent and grabbing for Xander's legs. Adam, Bridge, and Trent managed to get the two fighters apart after much hitting and the eventual use of Alpha's taser.

They dragged the unconscious man in black to a second back room where he was chained up against the wall.

"Why do you have chains?" Trent asked Adam.

"Rocky thought a dungeon would help scare the more unruly students."

"Who is he?" Bridge asked, examining the man.

"Let's find out," Adam said, and pulled the man's mask off.

Those in the back of the room didn't even have time to get a good look at the man before a spray of water flew in from the kitchen and soaked him from head to tow.

"Aah!" he cried, trying to back away from the water but finding it very difficult because of the chains and the wall.

"We so should have taped this," Trent chuckled.

"What did you think you were doing?" Tori demanded, marching up to Blake with a look that would have made the Fear Cats cower.

"Defending your honor?" Blake tried.

"Augh!" Tori whirled and marched out of the room.

"Should we--?" Bridge asked, motioning to the restraints.

"Let him hang!" Tori's voice echoed from the front entrance.

"Okay," Adam said. "Sorry 'bout this Blake, but you know how the girls can be."

Blake nodded and began trying to find a comfortable position to stand in.

"So," Kira asked, leading Trent back to the couch, "what were you doing here?" The others all took seats around the room, more as an excuse to right the fallen furniture than anything else.

"Blake thought Xander was gonna steal Tori and he made me think Xander might steal you too."

Kira punched Trent's arm good naturedly. "You're so sweet."

"So why were you hugging another man?"

Kira looked down at her shoes and Xander paled. "I can't tell you," Kira said. "But I promise it was nothing romantic. It was for emotional support."

Adam sputtered into his water. "You need emotional support?"

"It's complicated," Xander said with a pout.

"It always is, man," Adam said. "Fellow Ranger or ally? Or is she an evil villain?"

"How'd you know it was a girl?"

Adam laughed. "It's always a girl."

"Wait," Anton said. "What happened to Tommy?"

"He broke the window," Trent said. "He was spying on you through it. I don't know where he went though."

"I'm still here," Tommy's voice came from just below the window.

"Oh man," Adam said, grabbing a camera from a nearby drawer. "Please turn visible. People need to see this."

"No," Tommy sulked. "Now get me out!"

Bridge and Alpha stood.

"No," Adam said. "Kira will do it."

"Why me?"

An evil glint of understanding appeared in Anton's eye. "Because if he stays invisible there's a chance of inappropriate touching and he won't take that risk with a former student."

"Trent's a former student!"

"Yeah," Trent agreed, "but I'm a guy. And this way there's the added 'I'll kill him' factor if there is inappropriate touching."

Tommy muttered a curse and became visible. Adam's camera began flashing.

"Here," Adam said, digging a second camera out and throwing it to Bridge with his free hand, "go get pictures of the other side."

"Don't you dare!" Tommy roared.

"Who's your leader, Bridge," Adam asked, "me or Invisible Boy there?"

"Sorry, sir," Bridge said. "I really am a big fan."

Tommy crossed his arms as Bridge ran out of the room. "Are you going to help me or not?"

Blake's yelled angrily, "At least you're not soaking wet!"


Author's Note: Sorry again about the long wait. Life's been...bad lately. And as happy as I am to get holiday suggestions, I already know about Talk Like a Pirate Day. I knew about it before most of you did, probably. So please stop telling me. I do want to do one for that day, but I have to figure out how. Any other suggestions are greatly appreciated, but please don't make that all you write in your review. At least tell me if you liked the story or not.

Review! It lets me know people are still reading this insanity.