Dating the Devil

the fifth table for ten (x) cinderella-well-not-really, how not to order a meal, alibis and other lies

this is a fanfiction from dreamsofdestiny to 10Join-Fei who is the ideal C2 member. she always reviews, and always gives something more than "update soon." you should be nice to her too and read her awesome fanfictions! (if you don't review her stories, I'll bite you-rawr!) no ownership of naruto, not-so-great writing, the usual run-of-the-mill boy-meets-blue-haired-girl story. reviews are cherished. and by "review," she means something more than "update soon."

(decked in a spider-silk gown)

She was not nervous. Not nervous at all. Why, she had just passed an initiation test by the most elite boys on campus! So she had absolutely no reason in the world to be even the slightest bit nervous. No reason at all. And yet, here she was, sweating her brains out, as if today was some college entrance examination rather than the night of her dinner dat--club meeting. Club meeting, strictly business, not date.

The gleam in Sakura and Ino's eyes was seriously beginning to freak her out.

"A date?" Sakura asked, glee creeping into her voice.

"A date?" Ino echoed, as they swapped looks before putting aside their Sasuke fanatisms for one night...there was a whole other area of interest tonight.

Blue was starting to seriously feel for the poor freshman guy. Of course, she had her own problems to fend off right now, so sympathy wouldn't do. 'Keep a steady head and make sure to reason with them,' she told herself, pasting a quasi-annoyed expression on her face.

"It's quite alright, I'll be leaving shortly, if you don't mind," 'while wearing the absolute ugliest attire imaginable to some high classe restaurant' her mind whispered betrayal as Blue tried to edge away to the door. Only...two...feet...away! Sensing that they'd probably lunge at her in order to beautify her in thirty seconds or less, she grimaced before giving a desperate distraction. "I here Sasuke is at the water polo game tonight..." Hopefully, the Sasuke-Fanatic-Duo couldn't tell her outright lie...

Here was the SFD's train of thought at the moment: Sasuke is hot. Sasuke has a brother he worships. Blue is a member along with Sasuke's older brother. If Blue hooks up with Sasuke's older brother and Sasuke's older brother is happy, he'll have to tell Sasuke who made him meet this wonderful match of his. The end verdict: Blue must be dressed up beautifully tonight in order to capture Sasuke's worshipped older brother's gaze.

People, wave logic goodbye.

"Blue!" Sakura's voice was piercing and abrupt. The indigo-haired girl's hand was poised right over the doorknob.

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes, there is!" Ino grabbed the girl's wrist, forcefully dragging her over to the shared bathroom, where on Sakura and Ino's side, it was beauty supplied galore.

"You're violating fashion law in over twenty different ways by going out to dinner in an outfit like that!"

"I know! I mean seriously, where are you guys going to? A trash dump?" Sakura was definitely going to be an ambassador when she grew up...

All of Blue's less-than-enthusiastic responses were drowned out by the SFD literally leaping on her and applying all their crazy formulas on her. Needless to say, they were determined to make Blue a girl worth of catching Itachi's eye...or at least kill Blue in the process of trying.

"OW!"

"Stupid pig; you shouldn't poke that in her eye!"

"Why, forehead girl? Not everyone needs to play up their eyes as much as you do!"

"Why you--"

And that's how it went more or less for a very painful five minutes. Oh God, why did Blue suddenly feel as if years were racing by as multiple colours flashed by her face and the strangest-smelling concoctions were shoved near and on her. Whoever said beauty was easy, of course, should be shot by now. Honestly, last-period PE seemed like heaven, especially when her precious, treasured blue locks were being combed and pulled and dragged with every brush strokes.

She was aiming for presentability, not a complete personality change!

The pain stopped suddenly, and the harpies...erm, stylists, drew away to examine their finished work of art. Blue was starting to feel like their stares would rival Pein, with the intensity. They were looking for a flaw, any sort of flaw so they could harp and harp upon it. Thankfully, there was none.

"Sakura..."

"Yes Ino?"

"I believe we deserve a medal!" the blonde squealed, as girl-hugs were exchanged and delighted praises soared through the air. Said piece of art really, really, really didn't want to turn around and look at the mirror. Said piece of art was using all her willpower not to do a little 180 turn and see the gruesome beast she had become. Said piece of art refused to believe she was vain enough to actually want to see how she'd been transformed.

"Do you like it, do you like it?" Sakura giggled, saving Blue a lot of self-debate by forcibly turning the junior around to look in the mirror.

Said piece of art was secretly grateful to Sakura and Ino for forcing her to see herself.

"It's..." Blue began, and she really couldn't continue because she was still shellshocked at the face staring back at her. It couldn't be her, she had bags from studying for so long, her cheekbones made her face so sharp there wasn't a round surface to see. Her hair was tame, but bland. The girl in the mirror however...

"Amazing?"

"Fabulous?"

"You love us?"

"Make sure to tell Sasuke who did this!"

"Beautiful?"

"Perfect." Blue smiled, genuinely satisfied with the work Sakura and Ino had done. She felt like Cinderella in the stories, with two fairy godsisters and a date better than Prince Charming. "Thank-you," she remembered to add, turning away from her reflection to bow at the two. The gleeful looks on their faces simply spelled "delight" and they pounced her with a group hug.

"Ohmygod!" Sakura noticed the time, "Aren't you going to be late for your date?"

"It's a club meeting, and yes. But really," and here, she smiled gently again, "Thank you for everything." And Blue hurried out the door, satisfied with her reflection.

Meanwhile, Sakura and Ino traded manipulative smiles, oh yes, they were most certainly going to get a lot of brownie points with Sasuke.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sakura's brain flow-chart: Blue goes to meeting, Itachi falls in love, He takes her to his dorm, they fall in love and get married. Of course, someone will need to alert Sasuke of his brother's wedding and who better to fall in love with than his brother's bridesmaid?

"I think I'm thinking what you're thinking." Ino smirked as they high-fived and high-tailed it out of the dorm, even forgetting to lock the doors.

(dream, dream on; dream, dream off)

Seconds after Sakura and Ino had gone off looking for Sasuke, Naruto appeared on the dorm's doorstep, eager for another chance to ask Sakura out. Nevermind she had rejected him those 247 times before! Tonight was definitely going to be his lucky night! Tonight, his wildest dreams would come true and Sakura would finally realize Sasuke was an asshole and she deserved someone awesome, like Uzumaki Naruto!

"Sakura-chan?" he eagerly rapped at their door.

It swung open with a creak, and you could almost see the tumbleweed blowing by, symbolizing that this was indeed, a deserted room.

"She must be buying me flowers!" the enthusiastic freshman declared, satisfied at last with the explanation of why on earth dear Sakura was not in her room. Happy with his delusions, he proudly strode out the door, forgetting to close it.

(isn't there anywhere safe for me to be? someone to hold?)

"Where is he?!" Fangirl number one screeched. A hoard of female students followed her.

"I think he went in that direction! The boy's dormitory!" Fangirl number two yelled.

"Follow him! We will not let him escape our love!" Fangirl number one declared, as the brigade charged in the opposite direction of where Uchiha Sasuke was hiding. Said runaway breathed a sigh of relief. 'Man, if I knew that running into the girl's dormitories would have never been suspected, I would have done that years ago!' he thought, before brushing himself off in order to see if there were any places he could hidein until the coast was clear, other than an open hallway in the treacherous girls' dormitory, of course.

Luck was with the younger Uchiha, for he discovered a completely open door, just waiting to be locked shut so he could escape!

Quickly taking a look around the place (to make sure there were no girls around, after all, the open door could be a bait of some sort...) and satisfied with the nonexistant tumbleweed blowing by, he shut the door, taking care to lock and bolt it, before stretching out on the bed.

"..."

Okay, so he was safe. But he was bored as well. So he figured he might as well rummage around the room, after all he was curious about the occupants of the room (and how crazy they must be to leave the room in such disarray at seven o'clock on a Thursday night, no less! So curiousity managed to hook him in enough to open the drawer of the desk closest to him. There wasn't anything in it. So he moved onto the next. And here, he found a hot-pink notebook.

Now, at this moment, any boy who ever had any contact with ls would know that hot-pink notebooks should not be opened and open dorm rooms should not be entered. But of course, Sasuke was anti-girl on a whole and didn't know any of this. So the innocent boy flipped open the notebook (there was nothing better to do and if he remembered correctly, it took them a good two hours to call off the search so he had a lot of time to kill) and read the first line.

Dear Diary, Sasuke is so hot...

Now, he could have, would have, should have slammed it shut then. But he was bored and curious and enraptured. Never had he known girls would actually pour their hearts out on diaries.

So the poor boy read all the entries...word-for-word.

Can we spell traumatization?

(this is a night you'll want to forget)

"You're late." Pein's monotonous voice called out from the darkness that was the Akatsuki lounge.

"I know."

"Did you dress appropriately?" And here, right now, ten minutes late for her club dinner/meeting, Blue realized she was still wearing the tacky dress. The tacky black dress that she had worn for her eighth grade graduation. The tacky black dress she had worn to any formal event ever. Yes, that tacky black dress. She might have had a satisfying upper-reflection...but the tacky black dress!

She was majorly screwed.

"Yes." Oh joy, she was now retorting to lying! Could it get any better? Of course not!

"Alright, we have a limousine, courtesy of Zetsu," Pein motioned to a dark figure in the room, where the gnawing of teeth could be heard. A dark chuckle resonated throughout the entire group.

"Let's go."

And he led her out into the light. He probably should have raised his eyebrows a fraction, given her some joy that he noticed the drastic change in her appearance, but he continued to look dead-straight ahead, as he led them to the limo. Of course, she followed directly behind him and the rest of the Akatsuki followed the two of them, comments flying up like flames. But he paid no heed to them because her appearance for tonight was being repeated again and again in his mind. Her hair was curled beautifully, a couple delicate curls dangling upon her ivory skin while the rest were gracefully sorted up into a chignon, pinned in by (you guessed it) a white rose. Only the darkest red was applied on her eyes and she did indeed look ready to go into the fine restaurant Hidan had threatened Kakuzu into reserving for tonight. Yes, Blue looked magnificent.

That is, until he got to her crappy dress. It was a tacky black sort of dress, the kind someone would wear over and over again because they were too lazy to buy something new. Oh well, it's not like he was dating her for aesthetic value anyways.

Everything seemed to be speeding by for Blue tonight. She could hardly remember the noisy limo ride as Sasori and Deidara in the front semi-struggled to keep the vehicle from crashing. Deidara of course, kept on screaming something about how flying was so much simpler. And here she was, under the gorgeous, magnificent, Chateau de Luna, the restaurant that you had be pay before, during, and after to get in, Not to mention the waiting list was five miles long.

And now, they were seated, and it was a circular table (not unlike the one the Akatsuki lounge room had) so everyone assembled accordingly. First was Leader, and next to him, his "girlfriend," after that was Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Sasori, Deidara, Tobi, and Zetsu made the circle full.

She excused herself to wash her hands, after all, if they wanted to die of food poisoning or dirty hands, that was their decision, but she had a better death wish than that.

Honestly, how would she know the morons would be bringing down the house by placing the craziest orders in history...without her?

(munchy, munchy, cruchy-crunchy)

"Hinata, will you go to table thirty-two for me?" someone called, currently busy attending to table one.

"Of course," the ever-so-ready to please girl grabbed a waiter sheet, hoping that there weren't too many people at the table. Knowing the restaurant like the back of her hand, she tried to brace her legs at the people seated around table thirty-two.

'Kami hates me,' she emo-ed. There were nine people sitting around the table. Nine people. All wearing black trenchcoats and purple nailpolish, sipping their tea. Well, half of them were, the other half were engaged in a conversation that escalated into an argument. 'Courage, Hinata, courage! Think of Naruto-kun!" And she stepped up, ready to wait on them to the best of her ability.

"U-um," she bit her tongue, chiding herself about stammering, "my name is Hinata, and I'll be your waitress for tonight."

"Great, a waitress, do you people here have any fucking idea how long I've been waiting?" the silver-haired man demanded.

"U-uh well,"

"Is this tea imported? Because it's very good." A man whose face completely covered intoned.

"I don't really--" This was not a good start.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"This place's art sucks! Art is a blast! Art is a--"

"Dango."

"What?" After months of training by kind and caring employees, Hinata could have screamed at not being able to distinguish what an order was yet.

"I want dango. Regular serving, light on the anko sauce."

"O-oh! Of course!" Hinata stammered, hastily writing it down, looking up at her customers, and thanking Kami for seeing them buried in their menus. Well, most of them. The man who ordered dango was staring off into space, and the spiky-haired man (whom she thought looked like a porcupine) looked like he was plotting something, tapping his fingers restlessly while sipping the tea.

"Hey, lady, I'd like a whole pig." Well that was certainly an eyebrow-raiser.

"Hidan, do you have any idea how goddamn expensive that is?" Stiches-man looked like he would pop a vein.

"Ignore the heathen, make sure to cook it rare. Actually, don't cook it at all." And he folded his menu, handing it to her. Hinata was getting more and more disturbed by the second.

"Sasori and I will share the pork buns, un!"

She quickly wrote it down, happy for a sane order, until she heard what she assumed to be Sasori's reply.

"You idiot, how many time do I have to tell you I don't eat?"

"Who cares, un?" And he handed her the menu.

"Tobi wants asparagus!"

Hinata sweatdropped at the childish speaking, but wrote down asparagus nonetheless, wondering if he wanted it cooked rare as well.

"Anything else?" So far, only six people had ordered. And one of them technically didn't place an order.

"I'll just eat some of this money-burner's pig," a glare was shot towards the raw pig-eater.

"Hell, no! You'd probably drool all over it! Get your own meal!" Said raw pig-eater didn't seem too happy about it.

"I'm not eating anything." Touche, the plotting man.

"I'd like this page." Hello, crazy ordering.

"What?"

The blue-haired sharp-teethed crazy-orderer gestured to the entire seafood page.

"Oh. All right, would you like them spicy?"

"Yes, please."

"O-kay!" she was really hoping that the last man wouldn't order anything crazy, not that she could see anything with his hood pulled over his head.

"And would you like anything to eat, sir?"

The head lifted a little, she swore she saw the glint of pearl-white teeth that accompanied a group chuckle. She sweatdropped, was he unable to eat or something?

"Zetsu doesn't eat anything that's served on the menu." Thank god "Sasori" was a translator for their dark chuckles.

"Oh, we can custom-make as well!"

"Believe me, he has a very...unique diet in which you would not be able to provide for." More dark chuckles ensued as the hooded person put down the already pretty-low head. Hinata didn't push it anymore.

"Alright then, you're orders will be arriving shortly!" And Hinata thankfully turned heel and all but dashed away.

Or she would have except...

"Is this yours?" Oh, it was the dango-man again. He was holding a photo of...

She blushed furiously; how had she let that drop? Muttering a quick thank-you, she snatched it out of his hand and ran off, ignoring the murmurings of the group at her sudden change in behaviour.

'...I should have never agreed to serve that table," Hinata miserably thought, waiting at an empty table for their meals to be cooked.

"That was Naruto, was it not?"

"Eep!" Although it was only a little hop, she wished at that moment she could jump sky-high.

(starve, shrivel up and die...)

Blue twitched. When she got back, not only had they all placed their orders and forgotten to order something for her, they had the nerve to ask her if she wanted anything to eat! While the menus were being taken away in front of her very eyes!

She was annoyed to say the least. And her boyfriend wasn't being very kind. Who brings a club member to the fanciest restaurant in town, only to not let her order anything AND subject her to an interogation when he KNOWS that she skipped lunch because of a stupid initiation by the same person? Pein, of course, that's who.

"Obviously, we're curious about you." Oh goodie, the high-and-mighty leader decided to talk.

"Yeah, un! What's with the name? I mean, Blue! It's a colour, un!" Oh, was Deidara a genius or what?

"It's a nickname I chose for myself."

"Why?" Of course the Pope's son was too rich to use logic! Logic was for the common folk!

"Because her hair's blue, moron!"

And they group bickered on for a little while until the orders began to arrive. Kisame and Hidan's order required two waiters each in order to carry out and the end result was the Akatsuki spreading out on three tables. Blue was somewhat satisfied when Deidara offered to share some pork buns with her (seeing as how Sasori couldn't eat and all...). And she munched on her bun as Sasori and Deidara got into yet another arguement about whether life was meant to be lived with a bang or as a limitless joy. Of course, it tied into art in the end.

"What are you thinking of?" In any other context, she would have thought it was a kind question, but the words, or rather, the apathy in them, really killed the meaning in them.

"Food." She glanced casually at Pein as he stood up, grabbed a plate of seafood from Kisame, and literally ripped a pig leg off from Hidan's pig and presented the two sustenances for her.

There was a dead silence in the room, Deidara and Sasori clamming up, and everyone seemed frozen in time. She raised her eyebrows before taking both offering and eating the sun-boiled salmon in a satisfied manner. No thank-you's were muttered before, after, or during the gift, but Pein didn't seem to mind.

And slowly, as if the threads were still being strained around the group, idle chatter drew up, and everyone noticed that Itachi had left...with his dango in plain sight.

Needless to say, the older Uchiha had to reorder his dango when he got back.

(might we lie to you, we'll love you all the same)

"Your name."

It was the end of the evening, he was being a "proper" boyfriend (as instructed by Hidan) and dropping her off by her dormitory.

She sighed, well-aware of the unspoken question. Somehow, some part of her didn't want him to know. Because once he knew, he knew everything. And he would probably be able to break apart and piece together her lie. But there was a part, some part, that was tired of lying, and wanted someone to know. Blue, truely "Blue" for the last time tonight, took both those parts and threw them out for night. And released everything in a name she hadn't heard, hadn't spoken, hadn't thought of for over three years.

"Konan."

A breeze blew by as the letters rolled of her tongue. The taste of the word was bittersweet, like a midsummer eve's dream long forgotten and yet still wanting to be remembered.

"It's...nice." And it took her a moment to realize he had just complimented her name.

"Thank you."