Disclaimer: I do not own it.

Did I Ever Say

1 The happiest moment of my life was when the words "Pafoo" tumbled out of Harry's mouth. But of course James struck me across the head with a teddy bear for the words "Dada" would not come until two days later.

2 I never got around to tell James I was the one who threw all of his robes off the astronomy tower during seventh year.

3 I begged Lily for months to name her son Sirius Jr. She mumbled something about a nightmare coming true.

4 My greatest fear growing up was being alone in the dark. Now that I'm older I'm afraid of turning dark.

5 Up until I left for Hogwarts my only wish was for my mother to tell me she was proud of me, for her to smile upon her eldest son and not possess an ounce of disdain for him.

Silly childhood dreams.

6 I promised James that I would help keep his family safe. I only remember breaking one promise in my life.

7 I swear that James came to my cell some nights in Azkaban, but he never talked, just stared into me with those piercing hazel eyes and watched me cry.

The nightmares were the worst those nights.

8 I forgot sometimes in Azkaban that they were dead. I would think about my James, my brother, my partner in crime. Lilykins my younger, mischievous sister. Remus, big brother always knows best. Peter, our pet rat. Blood never mattered. I loved them-

But wait loved? What happened? And then it all came crashing back to me.

9 The last time I saw Reg he was crying and I was pointing a wand at his throat. He told me I had replaced one brother with three, but said he still loved me, and then apparated away.

10 I'm falling, falling fast.

Oh wonderful cousin Bella.

But why does Harry look so sad, frightened, scared? I want to tell him to smile, stop worrying his scarred little head off. The worst that can happen from falling is a small bruise, right?


I want to reach out for him but then everything turns white.

A/N: Please review.