Disclaimer: I'm am not the great J.K. Rowling, so Harry Potter and all her characters are not mine. This story is based on an answer J.K. Rowling gave during a Live Chat Interview for Bloomsbury at the end of July. Someone asked her if the trio would end up on the Chocolate Frog Cards one day. She said yes they would and Ron would say it was his Finest Hour.
This is that story.
This is set a few years before The Epilogue of DH:
Hugo is almost two.
Lily is four.
Al and Rose are six.
James is seven.
-His Finest Hour-
Ron fiddled with the key to the little townhouse where he and Hermione lived. The cries of Hugo and Lily were ringing in his ears. He had to shift Lily around in his arms, as he tried to open the door. Hugo lay in the stroller screaming up a storm having lost his pacifier.
Hermione had the car, and he certainly wasn't going to leave the youngest ones in a house with a sick Al and a wild James while he was at the market getting more potion.
Ron sighed as he finally got the door open. The wailing cries of the two kids intensified as he tried to shove the stroller through the doorway.
Both Harry and Hermione, being the heads of their respective departments in the Ministry of Magic, had a large meeting today with the Muggle Prime Minister about various new policies.
His father went with them, and his mother was in France visiting Fleur and her parents. Ginny's Quidditch team, The Hollyhead Harpies, had a huge game this week and couldn't afford to lose their Seeker for even a moment.
Which meant, that RON -was alone- with FIVE kids.
…This wasn't going to end well.
Ron quickly placed Lily in her playpen. He rolled his eyes and bent down to pick up Hugo in the baby stroller.
"All right. All right. Don't get your diapers in a twist! I'll change you in a moment after I give Al his medicine."
Ron walked over to Hugo's crib in the nursery and laid him down.
"Hi Daddy," said Rose, his six year old daughter, as she walked into the nursery, "I made sure James and Al stayed out of trouble."
Ron gave his little girl a smile. He had only been gone for five minutes, but it was unavoidable. Al needed this potion and he just couldn't bring them all.
Luckily, his little Rose took after Hermione more than him. He trusted her to watch them for a short amount of time. She beamed with pride as he thanked her for doing such a wonderful job.
Ron reached into the bag he was holding and took out the ugly pink potion. Then he went into the kitchen to get a spoon.
After searching through the drawers for several minutes, he then proceeded to the guest bedroom where Al was staying. As Ron creaked open the door, he saw a seven year old James reading his sick brother a story.
Poor little Al, he looked terrible. His usually unruly black hair was matted to his head and his skin was as pale as a ghost's. Dark circles had formed under his eyes and he had a bit of a cough. Having the flu was not fun.
"Hey there, guys," said Ron as Rose entered the room behind him. "Got your potion, Al. You should feel better in no time!"
Al groaned and hid himself under the sheets.
Ron sighed and plopped down onto the bed next to him, "Come on you little lump, bottoms up."
The covers whined, "No way. James told me dat potion is made from Troll Boogers. There's no way I'm drinkin' dat! And you can't make me!"
Ron felt a familiar anger well up inside him as he sent James a glare. The mischievous boy had the good sense to hide his face behind the storybook he was reading.
"James said that, huh?" questioned Ron as he patted Al's lump of covers. "Well I, happen to be a very accomplished wizard, and I know for a fact that there are no boogers used in making it, how's that?"
Al stuck his head out from under the covers and asked, "Really…?"
Ron crossed his heart and said, "Wizard's Honor."
Al's green eyes lit up on hearing this and Ron poured the thick liquid into a spoon.
"Now, I'm not saying this'll taste great. But if you drink it all down in one gulp; I'll give you one of the Chocolate Frogs I got at the store. Deal?"
When Al smiled, he looked so much like Harry. Ron just had to laugh.
Al opened his mouth wide and grimaced as he swallowed the spoonful down.
"Blahhh.. dat is berrible," mumbled Al as Ron pulled out a Chocolate Frog from the bag.
"A deal's a deal mate," said Ron as he tossed it to Al.
Ron then reached down into the bag again and pulled out another one. He turned to his redheaded little girl and patted her on the head.
"Great job looking after them Rose," said Ron as he placed the frog into her hand.
A wailing cry from the nursery caught Ron's attention.
"Oh yeah, gotta go change Hugo," grunted Ron as he sped out of the room.
"HEY!" yelled James as he ran after him, "No fair! I should get a Chocolate Frog, too!"
Ron spun around and looked him straight in the eye.
"No way! Not after that lie you told Al."
James looked up at him with his big brown eyes ready to cry.
Ron just crossed his arms and stood there steadfast.
"PLEASE, spare me the pity act. It may work on your Dad, but it doesn't work on me. Your mum's my sister, remember? I became immune to that look a long time ago. "
James looked down at his feet embarrassed.
Ron sighed and rubbed his eyes as Lily's cries began to join Hugo's in giving him the mother of all headaches.
"Tell you what James, you keep Lily busy while I change Hugo's diaper. Then I'll give you a Chocolate Frog too."
James gave his uncle a beaming smile as he ran ahead to the nursery.
By the time Ron had reached the room, James had already taken Lily out of her playpen and was playing with her on the floor. He stuck his tongue out and made funny faces as she laughed.
Ron gave him thumbs-up as he rolled up his sleeves and took Hugo out of his crib.
"Sorry to make you wait so long, Hue. But Daddy's going out of his mind here with you five!"
Ron placed his curly haired son down on the table as tears streamed from his little blue eyes.
"Now let's get you a new diaper, Squirt," said Ron as he removed the soiled diaper.
Just as he had pulled down the flap, a jet of yellow liquid hit him right in the face.
"EWWW!" exclaimed James as he started to roll on the floor laughing and Lily happily clapped at the funny scene.
Ron sputtered and wiped his face off with one of the clean diaper wipes.
"When I said 'Squirt,' that wasn't a cue for you to do so!" exclaimed Ron as he continued to wipe his son's bottom clean.
"Aw shit! It's the cell phone," thought Ron. "Now where in the hell did I put the stupid thing this time."
For some odd reason, the sound of the cell phone was coming from somewhere inside the nursery.
Ron frantically looked under sheets and covers searching for the source of the noise.
"Ring Ring!" said Lily as she pointed to the dirty diaper hamper in the corner of the room.
"Oh no," groaned Ron as he opened the bin and got a big whiff of day old baby poo and backed away.
The phone's rings were definitely coming from somewhere inside. Ron pinched his nose and turned to Lily.
"Lil…did you put the phone in there?" asked Ron as he looked at the innocent child.
She laughed at him and nodded yes.
Ron groaned and James howled with laughter as he bent down to retrieve the phone from the bin.
He shoved his hand into the hamper and stuck out his tongue as he felt around.
"Okay…diaper…diaper…wait! Ewww no! Just a turd…diaper…"
"Ah ha!" exclaimed Ron as he pulled the poop encrusted cell phone from the bin.
"Ewww!" yelled Lily and James as they cover their eyes.
Ron flipped the phone open and hit the 'Accept' button.
"Hello?" said Ron while keeping the phone quite a distance away from his ear.
"EWWW! He's using it!" screamed James as Hugo clapped his hands together happily still lying on the changing table.
Ron sent James a scathing glare as he heard a series of muffled mumbles coming from the phone.
Ron looked at the caller ID and sighed.
He took a deep breath and yelled into the receiver, "GEORGE! YOU'RE HOLDING IT UPSIDE DOWN AGAIN!"
"Maybe Hermione was right. Wizards and cell phones don't mix."
Ron heard a grunt over line as George turned the phone around.
"Well how am I supposed to know which side is which? They both look the same to me!" yelled George over the speaker.
"Never mind about that now, George. What's up?"
The kids watched Ron listen to George's ramblings. All the while he kept nodding his head up and down saying, "Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh." into the phone.
"Well George, just tell him that the price is too high."
George's response wasn't loud enough for the kids to hear.
"George, are you a wizard, or what? Tell him, NO," said Ron using Hermione's favorite line.
Ron had said it to her during first year when they were fighting that killer plant. It took her SIX YEARS, but she finally found a way to throw it back to him during the last battle with Voldemort in front of the Whomping Willow.
"I swear sometimes, that woman has the memory of an elephant," thought Ron with a roll of his eyes.
George's response was none too kind.
"Uh huh….Well look George, I know Fred use to handle this branch of the business but-"
George mumbled something in response and Ron sighed, "Yeah I know. But I can't come and help you today George. I've got munchkins up the-"
George said something else over the phone.
This time Ron just groaned, "Fine. I'll do it, okay? Put Mr. Bumble on the line….YES, I'm sure…He's there, right? ….All right then."
Ron balanced the dirty phone to his shoulder so his hands were free. He had no choice, poop encrusted or not, he had to finish changing Hue's diaper.
"Hello, Mr. Bumble," said Ron as he put baby powder on his son's bum. "My brother said you two were having trouble negotiating the payment price for your wares."
"Uh huh- I see," said Ron as he continued to negotiate the sales deal while securing Hugo's new diaper to his bum.
Ron's ability to multitask had grown exponentially over the years. He was Harry's second in command in the Ministry's Defense Department, George's business associate at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, and father/uncle extraordinaire. All his many jobs made Ron feel like a Jack-of-all-Trades. Though he didn't hold an official job title, he felt he didn't need it. Long gone were the days when he felt that a title was a way to prove your self-worth. He had all he wanted now, so much love he could burst. Yes, Ronald Weasley was quite happy with his life just the way it was.
When Ron was finished with Hugo's diaper, he picked up the boy and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"There you go little man, all dry now," said Ron as he placed him back down into the crib.
A mumbling noise could be heard over the phone.
"Um…. Sorry, Mr. Bumble…No, no, I wasn't referring to you….yeah-uh huh…. see I'm home with- yeah…Anyway do we have a deal? ….Great! Thank you so much, Mr. Bumble….Uh? Oh all right, put George back on then," said Ron as Rose and Al rushed into the nursery looking extremely excited.
Al started tugging on Ron's pant leg to get his attention, "Psss! Hey! Uncle Ron!"
Ron shushed Al and whispered, "I'm the phone with Uncle George, just a sec."
"I brought him down a couple a hundred Galleons, George. The budget should be fine now…." said Ron as he went into the kitchen to wash off his face, hands, and the cell phone he was talking into.
"Uh? What?" asked Ron as he turned on the sink, "You're going to put a spell on all the new Chocolate Frog Cards to do what?….HA! So the picture of the person on the Card will appear to be picking their nose? That's brilliant! But you better watch out if you do it to Morgan La Faye…. She might hex you right through the box."
George's laugh filled reply came over the phone as Ron washed his hands in the sink.
"Hey- you know what? You should have the person eat their boogers too!"
George started cry laughing over the phone.
"Well it wasn't that funny. What's gotten into you?" asked Ron as he wiped his hands on the kitchen towel.
"Nothing! Nothing at all, Ron! I'll talk to you later, Bye!" cried George as he hung up.
Ron examined the phone suspiciously.
"What the heck was that all about?" thought Ron as he washed his face, ear, and cell phone off of baby germs.
After he was done washing up, he got a glass of pumpkin juice and went into the living room.
There he found a grinning James, whose mouth was covered in chocolate, holding up a Chocolate Frog Card and reading it aloud to Al and Rose.
"-a strategic genius. He has led many a battle against various Dark Wizards, all while with a smile. Many say, that just being near him makes you a better person. And the love and compassion he has for others is unsurpassed. Those of 'The Great Trio,' refer to him as the one who binds them together. He is their strength, their joy, and his loyalty knows no bounds."
Ron snorted at the corny line and said, "Hey! You little git, I didn't say you could have that frog yet!"
James just smiled and hid the card behind his back.
"Daddy!" exclaimed Rose as her father came into the room. "Guess who the wizard is on the card!"
Ron looked at Rose for a second before it dawned on him.
"Wait a second,…The Great Trio? ...It's Harry isn't it? That's wicked! They actually put him on a Frog Card, already! I thought they'd wait until he was a bit older but-"
"It's not Daddy, Uncle Ron!" said Al, "It's you!"
Al took out his Chocolate Frog Card and gave it to his Uncle.
Ron's jaw dropped open in shock. The picture on the card was him, in full Quidditch garb, holding his broom and laughing at something Harry had said off camera. The picture had only been taken a few weeks ago during the Inner-Ministry Quidditch Tournament. Ron had saved a record number of goals that game, earning the "Ornery Aurors" the cup.
He couldn't believe it. Where on earth had they gotten that picture?
Ron slowly sat down on the couch.
Tears began to fill his eyes as he read the card.
"Uncle Ron? You okay?" asked James as Ron heard a knock at the front door.
But he couldn't move.
There he was, watching five kids, one of whom was sick with the flu. He'd been peed on, yelled at, and forced to use a poop smeared phone…
And yet….it was truly, His Finest Hour.
He couldn't be more honored.
Harry knocked on the door of the little townhouse before opening it.
"Hello! You still alive, Ron?" called Harry as he walked into the sitting room.
A pair of little feet running could be heard coming from down the hall.
"Dad!" called Al as Rose and James came running after him.
"Hey there little man!" said Harry as he picked Al up and gave him a kiss on the forehead, "You're already looking much better. You guys have fun with Uncle Ron?"
"Uncle Harry, something's wrong with Daddy," said Rose as she tugged on Harry's pant leg.
"Huh?" asked Harry confused.
"I…I think Daddy's crying…" whispered Rose as she looked into Harry's eyes.
Harry stared at her in shock. Ron never cried, unless something really bad happened.
"RON! " bellowed Harry as he raced through the house drawing his wand.
"In here!" said Ron as he quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
"You okay?" asked Harry as he sat down on the couch next to his friend.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just took me by surprise I guess." laughed Ron lightly as he thumbed the card in his hand.
"Huh? What are you…." asked Harry as Ron handed him the Chocolate Frog Card.
"Did you have anything to do with this, Mr. Savior of the Wizarding World?" asked Ron with a smile.
Harry's eyes grew wide in surprise.
"Dear Godric! This is completely wicked Ron!" exclaimed Harry as he continued to read the card.
"You mean this isn't your doing?"
Harry shook his head, "No way, wasn't me. But everything they say about you is true mate. You should be really proud!"
"Well of course I am. I'm famous now!" said Ron as he puffed out his chest with pride.
Harry laughed at his over the top attitude, "I thought you didn't care about fame and glory anymore."
"Well…" said Ron as he scratched his cheek, "maybe I still do a little bit…"
Ron then sat back and sighed, "I wonder who put me on the card….the writing style doesn't sound like Hermione's…"
All of a sudden Harry started to laugh.
"What's so funny?" asked Ron as took the card from Harry and read the back.
Then he saw it, "Distributed by: Lovegood Publishing."
"Well, I'll be. I sure owe Luna one. And I guess that means both yours and Hermione's cards will be out soon, too!"
Harry's eyes lit up with joy.
"Just think! Kids everywhere will be collecting cards of us….I hope mine's not too prolific."
Ron groaned, "Yeah, I can just see it. You're sitting on a train and you hear the kid next to you whine, 'Damn it! I got Harry Potter again, this sucks!' "
Harry laughed so hard he nearly fell off the couch.
"Maybe George can magic the pictures to give kids the middle finger when they say that!" said Harry as he roared with laughter.
"YEAH! That would-"
Ron turned white as a sheet and screamed, "OH CRAP!" and ran out the door.
Harry raced after him, "Ron! What's-"
"Gotta stop George from making all my Frog Cards eat their boogers! Watch kids! LATER!" yelled Ron as he flooed to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.
Harry was laughing so hard he began to cry….
That was until Rose and Lily came into the room with a feathery hat and pink earrings.
"Come on Uncle Harry, time to play dress up!" said Rose as Lily clapped and squealed for joy.
"Oh NO…" thought Harry as he yelled into the empty fireplace,
"RON! TAKE ME WITH YOU!"
Author's Notes: If you liked this Ron story, I have more HP stories out there too:
"Can a Wand Want?" and "Seeker and Keeper"
You can find them on my Author's Page.
Thanks so much for reading and please remember to read and review!