Summary: She wants to give him more than he's taking.
Author's Notes: Still haven't worked up to the level of smut I want to see out of these two, but... here we go.
Rating: Slightly Mature.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Love (and self-indulgence), not money.
There weren't any words between them, though she could hear his breath catch on everything he wasn't saying every time he exhaled. His hands were demanding, but there was an apology there as well. She wanted to claw it out of him; wanted to scratch out the need for chagrin or regret. She loved him; she'd loved him far longer than she wanted to admit, and she'd give him anything.
Anything except her pity. Anything except her shame.
He wanted anger . He wanted her to blame him, to drive a wall between them, but she couldn't do that. She didn't blame him for anything, not even the way he got up and left in the darkness of morning before the sun rose. He imagined she slept through his depatures, but she was a light sleeper. Cats always were. She knew every move he made -- she couldn't help it.
There were times, when her fingers clenched in his hair and her mouth opened in hungry desperation, begging for his invasive kisses, that she wanted to let the words out on a whisper. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. But even when he drove into her again and again, even when her hips bucked up to meet him and she felt her stomach contract as if trying to draw him deeper, she couldn't move past the paralyzing fear that her honesty would ruin everything and she wouldn't even have this part of him anymore.
So she curled her arms more tightly around his shoulders, his neck; hooked one long leg behind his knee and stretched the other one out along the length of his, and concentrated on what he was giving her. She strained to hear any syllable pass his lips, any semblance of her name, but he was silent.
Always so fucking silent.
And when the explosion shattered upward along her spine, she bit her tongue so hard it bled and swallowed the words she wanted to hiss into his ear.
She would give him this -- it was all he could take.