An: okay, well, here is the
fourth chapter to 'After'! Many things happen, but I cant wait to write
the fifth chapter, writing Touya will be interesting! *evil grin*
Well, you will just have to find out! Okay, thanks for reading!
I heard a loud banging on
my door. It was now the end of September, and soon the days would
grow short and cold by the time we reached November. The night before
my roommate had taken me out to a local party, were I just stood in the
corner, chatting to a few guys, who also, like me, were forced to come.
I had gotten home at 3:30 and had skipped today classes to recover.
However, it seemed that was
not kami's wish. I heard a muffled sound, "Oii! Li-kun! Open up the
**** door!" It must have been really good news, or else he wouldn't have
had to swear. I jumped out of bed, I was awake now, so might as well
let him in. I unlocked the door, and was smashed against the wall
as Takashi leaped in. He was ecstatic, and for some reason he was
I rubbed my hopefully not
broken nose. "Doshita No!?" I sighed as I sat back on my bed.
"She said Yes! She said YES!
LI-KUN! SHE SAID YES!!" He cried as he whirled around in circles.
"Dare?" I questioned warily.
"Sakura! My darling Sakura-chan!"
I bristled, I HATED it when
he called her Sakura CHAN. "Sou desu ka? What did you ask her?
Out on a date?"
Takashi did a few 80's dance
moves, and cried, "Yes! Yes! I did! Doumo! Doumo arigatou Li-kun!" he exclaimed
grabbing my hands and forcing me to dance with him
"What did I do?" I
questioned, my face becoming solemn. I still had a flicker of hope
that I would have been with her forever, but now that was blown out by
a wind called Takashi. I wanted to be alone, and fall into my pit
of loneliness. I was grown man and yet I wanted to cry.
"You--You let me have her!"
Takashi said as he flung himself down into a chair.
He was grinning, his face
was flushed, but he looked like the happiest man in the world.
I sat down slowly on my bed,
my face in my hands, then I looked up, trying to put a grin on my face,
"What about Chiharu san?"
Takashi seemed to brush this
aside, as if it had never bothered him. His voice was quieter, but
still happy, "I guess I fell in love with someone else, I mean, so did
Chiharu, we just grew apart. But it happened sooner then we both
I rubbed the corners of my
"That I will not tell you."
he winked as he strolled out of the room before I could stop him and question
him more, and he called from down the hall, "Gotta get ready! JAAAAAA!"
I closed the door, I didn't
want to rain on his parade, instead I fell back into bed. For the
rest of the week I stayed in my room.
It had been about three weeks
sense Takashi had told me, and sense then he had gone out with her five
times. I realized that perhaps I had been stupid to think Sakura
would have been mine, and so one wet and rainy day I set out for Sakura's
dorm. It wasn't that I thought Sakura was a prize to be won, no she was
something more, something that I needed to be complete, but now...perhapes
only her memory would keep me complete.
One day while Takashi and
I were hanging out in his dorm I stole a look in his address book and copied
her dorm number. I felt like some kind of thief, but I realized that
if I were in his shoes, he would have done the same thing.
I looked up, and was startled
to find myself standing outside her door. I looked up and down the
I breathed in deeply, and
calmed myself as I knocked.
A few moments later Sakura
opened the door. She smiled warmly, but she was a bit suprized to
see me I could tell, "Shaoran-kun!" she exclaimed, "Come in!"
I did as she said and stood
in the middle of her room. Her room was a little larger then mine,
filled with books, posters, a few stuffed animals, refrigerator, microwave,
and pictures. While Sakura closed the door I looked intently at her
pictures that she had scattered around her apartment. There was one
with all of us together in fourth grade, and then one of her and Tomoyo
when they were in middle school, and one when she graduated high school,
her father and brother smiling warmly, and then finally one slightly hidden
away on her shelf, one that Tomoyo had snapped a few days before either
of them knew I was leaving. It was of me and Sakura, she looked so
happy, and I looked slightly flushed but none the less happy.
She walked towards me, a
smile on her face, and she said, "Sit down. Douzo." I sat obediently
on her desk chair, and awkwardly looked up at her.
I noticed, and said quietly,
"Arigatou." as she busied herself by getting some cups, filling them with
hot water from the thermos, and adding two tea bags. She handed it
to me, and said, "Douzo."
I nodded, and cautiously
sipped it. The room was quiet, and only rain drops could be heard,
and then I broke the silence by saying, "Sakura-san, I have something to
say to you, so please don't interrupt me until I am finished."
She nodded, and placed her
tea cup on a small table, and sat down on the bed starring at me.
I too put my cup down, and then began to speak, first quietly, but my voice
rose bit by bit, "Sakura, I loved you, for the longest time. I still
do love you, but...just because I do doesn't mean that you have to love
me too. I suppose it was stupid of me to think that we could have
been together, I just...I suppose, wished we could have. I hope we
can still --" I cut myself off, and breathed, trying to calm myself down,
I swallowed and continued, "I hope we can still be friends, kedo...if you
I suddenly got up, wanting
to get out of here as soon as possible. Sakura watched me, her eyes
glistening, but it was too hard for me to be here, to have to put myself
through this, but I knew I had to stay, I turned my back towards her, and
said, "Whether you and Takashi stick together, I know you will find someone
who you love." I began to walk, but I caught myself, and continued,
"Before I leave....I want you to know two things, the first is; I hope
we can still be friends."
I turned slowly around and
bent down to where Sakura sat on the bed, she looked at me, her eyes worried
and scarred. I bent in closer, and I kissed her. This kiss
I had been waiting for forever. This kiss was a kiss of purity and
perhaps passion, but even more so; sadness. I got up, not wanting
to draw this out any longer, "the second is that I will always love you..."
I walked out of the room,
and then I ran down the stairs, and got out of the university as quickly
as I could. I felt so foolish, what I had done wasn't me, but perhaps
it was, perhaps I had just wanted that. I felt idiotic. I wondered
to myself, 'had I ruined everything for her?'
It turned out that I hadn't
ruined things for Sakura. Takashi and her continued to go out with
each other, but most of the time they invited me along and her room mate,
trying to make us a couple. Of course, both of us had the same personalities
of 'rather being in room doing homework'. However, we both obliged
and often the four of us went out for koohi or cake, chatting about our
teachers and exams. Sakura and I never really spoke to another sense
that day. Sometimes our eyes would catch each others, but we would
look away pretending it had never happened.
It was now nearing the time
of christmas and winter holidays. In a week everyone would be gone,
except perhaps me. One cold night, a light snow began to fall
while the four of us were going out to dessert. It was a Thursday
evening, and both Sakura's room mate and Takashi had evening classes, leaving
the two of us alone.
I sipped my mocha, and Sakura
fiddled with a bit of strawberry shortcake left on her plate.
She looked up at me, and
asked, smiling, "Going anywhere for winter break? Back to China?"
I shook my head, and explained,
"I think it would be best if I didn't return to China for a while, so I
am just gunna hang out the college for the break. After all, I suppose
I could always work on homework or something."
Her eye brows drooped, and
she said, "Your staying at the college? No one is going to be there!
You should stay with Takashi's family or something, or someone else that
your friends with in Nihon!"
I once again shook my head,
draining the last of my mocha, "Don't worry about it. I guess solitude
is okay, after all, the holiday season, well, lets just say its better
for me to be alone. I think I ruin it for people."
Sakura shook her head, "Nani?!
Your wonderful during the holidays, don't say that!"
I grinned, silently marveling
how much she hadn't changed.
She began to drink some of
her koohi, then she slammed it down on the table. I jumped, slightly
sweating, "Doshita no?"
She laughed, and exclaimed,
"Why don't you spend the holidays with my family! I am SURE Yukito-san
would love to see you! After all he is living with
oni-chan now. And Tomoyo and her mother will
be there! Along with oto-chan, and --"
I cut her off, smiling in
a sarcastic way, "You forget that your oni-chan hates me."
She shook her head, "Your
wrong! And, if he ever did dislike you so, I am sure its past! Onegai,
say you will come!" She pleaded her hands clasped around her koohi
I raised my eye brows, and
questions momentarily streamed through my head, 'What about Takashi?
Her oni-san?? I can't do this to Sakura, it would only make her uncomfortable!'
then other thoughts ran through my head, ones that I liked better, ' It
would be nice to see everyone again, and why would I want to stay at the
dorm during those two weeks??'
I starred her down, and then
I laughed, "I think you conned my into it, but if I come back to your house,
and I get kicked out by your brother, I am going to say I TOLD YOU SO!"
She laughed, and said, "Hai
hai ! Ii! I don't like to see you cooped up in your room!"
I flagged the waiter down
and asked for 'one of those strawberry things she's eating' and another
mocha. I smiled, and we continued talking a bit, this time about
what had been going on at home; just to bring me up to level with her life.
I flushed, looking at her,
and wondered, what would these next two weeks bring? Hopefully it
wouldn't worsen my relationship with Sakura even more, and then...i
stiffened there was always her brother...
AN: Okay, well, the next
chapter brings trouble with oni-chan....and mayyyybe but most defiantly
a bit more excitement between Sakura and Shaoran, after all, who ever said
Sakura didn't like Li? I sure didn't! Well, thanks for reading!
^___~; i-meiru wa:
firstname.lastname@example.org or> email@example.com
oni-chan san>- brother
oto-chan san> -father
onegai- please when asking
Doshita no- whats wrong?
kami sama>- god
name> chan -like girlfriend
Doumo Arigatou- thank you
Ja- See ya!