Afterchapter4 After
by Capillaria

An: okay, well, here is the fourth chapter to 'After'! Many things happen, but I cant wait to write the fifth chapter, writing Touya will be interesting! *evil grin* Well, you will just have to find out! Okay, thanks for reading!

Sho Yon:Yoru

I heard a loud banging on my door. It was now the end of September, and soon the days would grow short and cold by the time we reached November. The night before my roommate had taken me out to a local party, were I just stood in the corner, chatting to a few guys, who also, like me, were forced to come. I had gotten home at 3:30 and had skipped today classes to recover.
However, it seemed that was not kami's wish. I heard a muffled sound, "Oii! Li-kun! Open up the **** door!" It must have been really good news, or else he wouldn't have had to swear. I jumped out of bed, I was awake now, so might as well let him in. I unlocked the door, and was smashed against the wall as Takashi leaped in. He was ecstatic, and for some reason he was crying.
I rubbed my hopefully not broken nose. "Doshita No!?" I sighed as I sat back on my bed.
"She said Yes! She said YES! LI-KUN! SHE SAID YES!!" He cried as he whirled around in circles.
"Dare?" I questioned warily.
"Sakura! My darling Sakura-chan!"
I bristled, I HATED it when he called her Sakura CHAN. "Sou desu ka? What did you ask her? Out on a date?"
Takashi did a few 80's dance moves, and cried, "Yes! Yes! I did! Doumo! Doumo arigatou Li-kun!" he exclaimed grabbing my hands and forcing me to dance with him
"What did I do?" I questioned, my face becoming solemn. I still had a flicker of hope that I would have been with her forever, but now that was blown out by a wind called Takashi. I wanted to be alone, and fall into my pit of loneliness. I was grown man and yet I wanted to cry.
"You--You let me have her!" Takashi said as he flung himself down into a chair.
He was grinning, his face was flushed, but he looked like the happiest man in the world.
I sat down slowly on my bed, my face in my hands, then I looked up, trying to put a grin on my face, "What about Chiharu san?"
Takashi seemed to brush this aside, as if it had never bothered him. His voice was quieter, but still happy, "I guess I fell in love with someone else, I mean, so did Chiharu, we just grew apart. But it happened sooner then we both imagined."
I rubbed the corners of my mouth, "Dare?"
"That I will not tell you." he winked as he strolled out of the room before I could stop him and question him more, and he called from down the hall, "Gotta get ready! JAAAAAA!"
I closed the door, I didn't want to rain on his parade, instead I fell back into bed. For the rest of the week I stayed in my room.
It had been about three weeks sense Takashi had told me, and sense then he had gone out with her five times. I realized that perhaps I had been stupid to think Sakura would have been mine, and so one wet and rainy day I set out for Sakura's dorm. It wasn't that I thought Sakura was a prize to be won, no she was something more, something that I needed to be complete, but now...perhapes only her memory would keep me complete.
One day while Takashi and I were hanging out in his dorm I stole a look in his address book and copied her dorm number. I felt like some kind of thief, but I realized that if I were in his shoes, he would have done the same thing.
I looked up, and was startled to find myself standing outside her door. I looked up and down the hall. Empty.
I breathed in deeply, and calmed myself as I knocked.
A few moments later Sakura opened the door. She smiled warmly, but she was a bit suprized to see me I could tell, "Shaoran-kun!" she exclaimed, "Come in!"
I did as she said and stood in the middle of her room. Her room was a little larger then mine, filled with books, posters, a few stuffed animals, refrigerator, microwave, and pictures. While Sakura closed the door I looked intently at her pictures that she had scattered around her apartment. There was one with all of us together in fourth grade, and then one of her and Tomoyo when they were in middle school, and one when she graduated high school, her father and brother smiling warmly, and then finally one slightly hidden away on her shelf, one that Tomoyo had snapped a few days before either of them knew I was leaving. It was of me and Sakura, she looked so happy, and I looked slightly flushed but none the less happy.
She walked towards me, a smile on her face, and she said, "Sit down. Douzo." I sat obediently on her desk chair, and awkwardly looked up at her.
I noticed, and said quietly, "Arigatou." as she busied herself by getting some cups, filling them with hot water from the thermos, and adding two tea bags. She handed it to me, and said, "Douzo."
I nodded, and cautiously sipped it. The room was quiet, and only rain drops could be heard, and then I broke the silence by saying, "Sakura-san, I have something to say to you, so please don't interrupt me until I am finished."
She nodded, and placed her tea cup on a small table, and sat down on the bed starring at me. I too put my cup down, and then began to speak, first quietly, but my voice rose bit by bit, "Sakura, I loved you, for the longest time. I still do love you, but...just because I do doesn't mean that you have to love me too. I suppose it was stupid of me to think that we could have been together, I just...I suppose, wished we could have. I hope we can still --" I cut myself off, and breathed, trying to calm myself down, I swallowed and continued, "I hope we can still be friends, kedo...if you want."
I suddenly got up, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible. Sakura watched me, her eyes glistening, but it was too hard for me to be here, to have to put myself through this, but I knew I had to stay, I turned my back towards her, and said, "Whether you and Takashi stick together, I know you will find someone who you love." I began to walk, but I caught myself, and continued, "Before I leave....I want you to know two things, the first is; I hope we can still be friends."
I turned slowly around and bent down to where Sakura sat on the bed, she looked at me, her eyes worried and scarred. I bent in closer, and I kissed her. This kiss I had been waiting for forever. This kiss was a kiss of purity and perhaps passion, but even more so; sadness. I got up, not wanting to draw this out any longer, "the second is that I will always love you..."
I walked out of the room, and then I ran down the stairs, and got out of the university as quickly as I could. I felt so foolish, what I had done wasn't me, but perhaps it was, perhaps I had just wanted that. I felt idiotic. I wondered to myself, 'had I ruined everything for her?'

It turned out that I hadn't ruined things for Sakura. Takashi and her continued to go out with each other, but most of the time they invited me along and her room mate, trying to make us a couple. Of course, both of us had the same personalities of 'rather being in room doing homework'. However, we both obliged and often the four of us went out for koohi or cake, chatting about our teachers and exams. Sakura and I never really spoke to another sense that day. Sometimes our eyes would catch each others, but we would look away pretending it had never happened.

It was now nearing the time of christmas and winter holidays. In a week everyone would be gone, except perhaps me. One cold night, a light snow began to fall while the four of us were going out to dessert. It was a Thursday evening, and both Sakura's room mate and Takashi had evening classes, leaving the two of us alone.

I sipped my mocha, and Sakura fiddled with a bit of strawberry shortcake left on her plate.
She looked up at me, and asked, smiling, "Going anywhere for winter break? Back to China?"
I shook my head, and explained, "I think it would be best if I didn't return to China for a while, so I am just gunna hang out the college for the break. After all, I suppose I could always work on homework or something."
Her eye brows drooped, and she said, "Your staying at the college? No one is going to be there! You should stay with Takashi's family or something, or someone else that your friends with in Nihon!"
I once again shook my head, draining the last of my mocha, "Don't worry about it. I guess solitude is okay, after all, the holiday season, well, lets just say its better for me to be alone. I think I ruin it for people."
Sakura shook her head, "Nani?! Your wonderful during the holidays, don't say that!"
I grinned, silently marveling how much she hadn't changed.
She began to drink some of her koohi, then she slammed it down on the table. I jumped, slightly sweating, "Doshita no?"
She laughed, and exclaimed, "Why don't you spend the holidays with my family! I am SURE Yukito-san would love to see you! After all he is living with oni-chan now. And Tomoyo and her mother will be there! Along with oto-chan, and --"
I cut her off, smiling in a sarcastic way, "You forget that your oni-chan hates me."
She shook her head, "Your wrong! And, if he ever did dislike you so, I am sure its past! Onegai, say you will come!" She pleaded her hands clasped around her koohi cup.
I raised my eye brows, and questions momentarily streamed through my head, 'What about Takashi? Her oni-san?? I can't do this to Sakura, it would only make her uncomfortable!' then other thoughts ran through my head, ones that I liked better, ' It would be nice to see everyone again, and why would I want to stay at the dorm during those two weeks??'
I starred her down, and then I laughed, "I think you conned my into it, but if I come back to your house, and I get kicked out by your brother, I am going to say I TOLD YOU SO!"
She laughed, and said, "Hai hai ! Ii! I don't like to see you cooped up in your room!"
I flagged the waiter down and asked for 'one of those strawberry things she's eating' and another mocha. I smiled, and we continued talking a bit, this time about what had been going on at home; just to bring me up to level with her life.
I flushed, looking at her, and wondered, what would these next two weeks bring? Hopefully it wouldn't worsen my relationship with Sakura even more, and then...i stiffened there was always her brother...

AN: Okay, well, the next chapter brings trouble with oni-chan....and mayyyybe but most defiantly a bit more excitement between Sakura and Shaoran, after all, who ever said Sakura didn't like Li? I sure didn't! Well, thanks for reading!
^___~; i-meiru wa: or>

oni-chan san>- brother touya>
oto-chan san> -father
onegai- please when asking a question
nihon- japan
Doshita no- whats wrong?
ii- good
kami sama>- god
name> chan -like girlfriend
Doumo Arigatou- thank you
Ja- See ya!