A/N: I suppose every JLU writer absolutely MUST have one of these type stories on their resume. Here's mine.


Title: Red

Rating: PG-13, for innuendo and sexual themes

Characters: ALL

Pairings: ALL

Spoilers: S1-before "Panic in the Sky" though

Summary: What happens when the men of the League get wind of a secret meeting of all the women...all to discuss a certain male Leaguer whom they've all gotten to know very well...gossip, gotta love it.


The Color of Gossip Isn't Green...It's Red


Gossip never travels faster than in a small town.

The Watchtower was more of a satellite orbiting Earth, but the sentiment remained the same.

The men pretended to not indulge in such a "feminine thing" but the women were unambiguously shameless with it. Always cuddled together in the common areas, whispering and giggling, sending pointed glances around the room. Sometimes what they spoke of was lighthearted and in good fun, sometimes it wasn't. In the beginning most of it had been rather sharp and to the point.

Since then, however, most everyone got to know everyone else. The barbs were left in people's thoughts and not let loose, and friendships and more-than-friendships formed amongst the heroes.

Those relationships were the focus of much of the gossip around the Watchtower, though there was one subject that took up a great deal of gossip as well. To many women's surprise a certain Leaguer appeared to be making the rounds of the Tower; to their surprise, but most definitely not to their regret.

On a non-descript day, where nothing world-threatening was happening and no cities needed to be saved, an event long in the planning was taking place. It wasn't an open event, only certain Leaguers had been invited. All of the Leaguers invited were women.

They slowly made their way out of the public areas of the Watchtower, not making a big fuss of heading for the secret meeting. It was such a subtle exodus that many of the men didn't even notice until the Question looked up from his game of chess with Green Arrow and realized it.

"Where's Black Canary?"

Green Arrow looked up from the board. "I dunno. Your move."

Question would not be swayed from his train of thought, however. "And Zatanna?"

"I don't know," Green Arrow enunciated harshly at Q. "Your. Move." He wasn't appreciated being beaten by the faceless man and was more than ready to get this game over with.

"All the women have left the room," Question mumbled to himself, surreptitiously sniffing his jacket to see if he'd forgotten to take a shower again. With some relief he noted that he had remembered, and he quickly moved his Queen across the board. "Checkmate."

Even though he'd seen it coming Green Arrow couldn't resist slamming his head into his hands and moaning. "I'm never playing against you again."

"I warned you," Batman said as he walked into the room, a scowl on his face. "Have you seen Wonder Woman?"

Question quickly stood and made his way to Batman's side. "Have you seen any woman?"

Batman looked startled, an odd expression for the normally unfathomable man. He didn't stumble over any words, however; he quirked his eyebrow (a move oddly visible even when he wore his cowl) and waited.

Green Arrow chuckled and explained. "Q thinks the women have disappeared or something."

Batman looked around the male-dominated room and then back at the Question and Green Arrow. "Now that you mention it..."

Even as Batman confirmed Q's fears Star Girl walked by, pouting as she played with her large staff. Q leapt after her and with little else to do Green Arrow and Batman followed. The trio startled the Green Lantern so badly what with their sudden appearance into the long corridor that he dropped the papers he was holding. Grumbling and irritated, he and Green Arrow picked them up while Batman and Question cornered Star Girl farther down the corridor.

"Where are the women?"

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I don't know."

Q picked up on the petulant tone and used it. "Why aren't you with them?"

The teenage blonde shrugged and sighed, but envy and anger warred in her gaze. "I wasn't invited to their little pow-wow."

"Why not?"

"Ask Supergirl."

Question and Batman suddenly understood Star Girl's sullen attitude. Supergirl and she had quickly become best friends in the past few weeks, and for Supergirl to not invite her to a "party" was a big faux pas.

"Where's the party at?" Green Arrow asked as he and Green Lantern appeared behind Q and Batman, now curious about the entire thing himself.

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because it would be a nice way of getting back at Kara, now wouldn't it?" Question commented quietly.

Star Girl rolled her eyes and popped her gum, but she did give in. "It's in the largest training room in the Tower. The door's coded though, so you can't get in."

The four men let the girl wander off, still pouting and sullen and stared at each other.

"Why would they be having a party and not letting anyone else know?"

"What's the party for?"

"Maybe it's some kind of girl party, like a baby shower or something?"

That was not a good question and the man who asked it was glared at for even bringing it up. Green Arrow put his hands up disarmingly and smiled winningly, but it had no affect on the men. Question tapped his blank cheek with his finger as he thought and when an idea came to him that same finger shot up into the air like an exclamation point. "I know what we'll do!"

"What?" The trio asked.

"We'll check the cameras."

"Doesn't that seem like an invasion of privacy? Those are only in place for safety and learning," Green Lantern said superiorly, crossing his arms disapprovingly.

"Have you seen Vixen in the past hour, GL?" Arrow asked with a smirk.

Green Lantern deflated. "No. You think she's there?"

"I think there's a good chance."

"Shayera will most likely be there as well," Batman said snidely.

Green Lantern made no further objections.

They made their way down five levels to the training rooms, collecting three more men as they did so. By the time the group had slipped into the "camera room" they consisted of the Question, Batman, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Captain Atom, Bwanna Beast, and the Flash.

The seven of them crammed into the small room with its bank of monitors and watched as Q sat down at the small desk. "They've shut down the cameras but I can get them going again."

Flash sped his way out the door and back again so fast it seemed more like he'd flickered like a bad hologram than actually left the room. "Doors are locked too. They thought of everything."

By now everyone was extremely curious as to why there was so much secrecy going on and the adrenaline from knowing they were doing something bad had them all tense. Their eyes focused on the strip of cameras that was dark and all was silent except for the small taps of buttons on the keyboard.

It took a few minutes but the screens popped to life, startling everyone in the room with the exclusion of Batman and Question. A few more keystrokes and sound filtered through the rooms speakers.

It was a not-so-surprisingly large group of female Heroes and the cameras had come on right in the middle of a loud burst of laughter. The women were obviously enjoying themselves, all of them settled into holographic couches and chairs, some of them curled up on the floor. They were in various states of clothing; some wore uniforms while other were in civvies. There was food and drink and music in the background.

It was without a doubt a party.

The laughter faded out and Black Canary leaned forward. "Hey, come on now. I'm in a serious relationship; I don't want this getting back to Arrow."

Vixen cocked her hip and grinned down at the blonde with a grin. They were a study of opposites, dark to light and certainly made an impression on the monitor. "Quite a few of us are in relationships. I don't intend to say anything if you don't." Vixen paused and glared at Shayera who'd grinned wider across the room just as she swallowed a popcorn shrimp whole. "And you better not say anything to John either."

Shayera swallowed and grinned. "Now why would I do that?"

"Oh, you know why, birdie."

Shayera grinned; running her tongue along her teeth in what was unmistakably a predatory way. "I know why," she paused, then relaxed against the table, reaching for another shrimp, "but I won't."

John blushed as every man in the small room looked at him and shrugged. There wasn't really anything to say, the situation was what it was.

Diana stood up, her hands in the air as she called for peace between the two jealous women. "Let's get to the point of this meeting, please."

The men unconsciously leaned forward as their curiosity got the better of them.

Diana took a deep breath and lowered her arms. She shut her eyes tight and mumbled something.

Shayera took great pleasure in asking, "What was that?"

Diana practically shouted it this time, "Nine times!"

The room broke out into laughter again, Fire and Ice curling up on the floor and rolling with it. Zatanna stood up and patted Diana on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Diana," she said comfortingly before turning to the rest of the room with pride. "Fifteen times."

"Fifteen?" Black Canary said in shock even as the other ladies continued to laugh. "He's only been here two months!"

"And?

"And...fifteen times?"

Zatanna nodded proudly and reclaimed her seat on the couch, accepting a bowl of popcorn from Supergirl. Bwanna Beast's right eyelid started to twitch as he suddenly got an idea of what the women were talking about. The other men began to shift as well, the idea flitting across their thoughts at the same time as it did Bwanna's.

"What's the matter, Canary, feeling under par?" A smooth voice said from off-screen, the speaker was in one of the room's few blind spots. Question froze at the keyboard before manipulating the camera just a few degrees to the right. It was risky, especially since the cameras were supposed to be off, but it was worth it. Huntress's purple-mask covered face smirked into range.

Canary scowled and turned her head from Huntress, instead replying to the wall. "Three times."

"Only three?" Zatanna asked with a grin.

Canary frowned at the brunette and nodded.

"But he's...he's so good at it!"

"I wouldn't have at all but he caught me at a weak moment!"

Huntress grinned and flopped down onto the couch next to Canary, wrapping an arm around the verbose woman in mock-comfort. "Yeah, he caught me weak too. He caught me weak thirteen times."

Canary pushed off Huntress's arm and punched her in the arm. Huntress yelped and rubbed the spot, moving a whole cushion away from the fighter. Canary explained to the room in general. "It was his idea I get Green Arrow to help me with Wildcat. We all know what happened after that."

Green Arrow's mouth was hanging open in shock as a very, very bad thought crossed his mind. Flash pushed the man's mouth closed and continued to listen and watch the screens.

"Besides," Canary continued, "I thought you and the Question were hot and steady?"

"We are," Huntress agreed with a shrug. Shayera threw the ex-Leaguer a beer from the bar and gave her a thumbs-up at the "number". "This happened before him."

Supergirl mentally calculated the dates and squealed with delight at what she found. "You hooked up with him during his first week with the League!"

"Just call me the 'Welcoming Committee'."

For that cheesy statement Huntress got covered in popcorn and chips, and one shrimp. They all laughed about it though and despite the topic none of them were jealous of the other, at least not over this man. He was that good.

Huntress picked the shrimp out of her hair and threw it at Shayera. In mid-flight of the projectile she turned to the twosome on the floor. "How many times?"

Fire and Ice glanced at each other, then at the women around the room. They asked at the same time, "Together or apart?"

The men's minds wanted to know 'together'.

The women went for 'apart'.

Fire thought on it so long that Flash could have sworn his head exploded from sheer tension. He'd been flirting with the green-clad element-wielding Brazilian for weeks now to no avail. Now he knew why.

Finally, she replied with a sigh, "Thirty-two."

Ice's answer was equally high. "Thirty."

Huntress and Canary each grabbed a beer. Huntress was heard to mutter, "Now I feel under-par."

It was down to Shayera and Vixen. The two women stood directly across the room from each other and the atmosphere became layered with pressure. Supergirl was conveniently forgotten on the couch and was content to watch the drama unfold.

Shayera stood and stretched her wings. She may be half a foot shorter than Vixen but she had her own sort of grace to her.

Green Lantern unconsciously moved to the front of the small crowd in the control room, his face contorted with what can only be described as a mix of "anger" and "envy".

Shayera pursed her lips, eyeing her rival up and down before saying quietly, "Ten."

Vixen immediately shot back with, "Eleven."

Shayera smiled. "I can up my number, though. You can't."

"Not can't, boo, won't."

Green Lantern stormed out of the room, the door banging against the wall and inside the room the women jumped, their eyes flying to the door as if expecting it to open any second. It didn't and Flash shut the door quietly before the men all turned their eyes back to the monitor.

Shayera and Vixen were still in stand-off mode and Supergirl stood up, dusting her chip-grease covered hands off on a paper towel before moving between the two glaring women. She spoke to Shayera with a small smile, breaking her line of sight. "Could you not up that number? I'm kind of seeing him right now."

Shayera and every woman in the room looked at the young woman before them. They saw the blonde hair, the blue eyes, and the mini-skirt. They all suddenly felt their age and the party wasn't as fun as it was before.

Captain Atom narrowed his eyes when the remaining five men in the room looked at him. He didn't say anything, just shook his head. He and Supergirl had a flirtatious friendship, one he might've liked to take to the next level at some point. It didn't appear as if that was going to happen.

Huntress smiled deeply and got up to shake Supergirl's hand. "So...you and Arsenal, huh? Or do you call him Speedy in the bedroom?"

Green Arrow's jaw ached as his teeth started to grind and that eye-twitch of his was moving so fast that it too had to hurt.

His former sidekick.

His much younger former sidekick.

Had slept with Black Canary.

This time Flash was there to keep the door from hitting the wall as the blonde billionaire fumed his way out of the room. Captain Atom and Bwanna Beast quickly followed. The two men hesitated just outside the room, contemplating following Green Arrow toward the elevator or taking the stairs. The man had looked angry enough to kill.

They voted for the stairs.

Flash shrugged at Batman and Question from just outside the door before speeding his way up the stairs as well.

The remaining two men gazed at the monitors as the tableau continued to unfold.

Shayera wrapped an arm around Supergirl's shoulders almost matronly, an arm joined by Wonder Woman's. They looked down at the girl tenderly and somewhat enviously. Zatanna continued to munch her popcorn, hesitating only to ask, "So what's your number?"

Supergirl grinned while Black Canary and Huntress burst into laughter. Vixen slid into a chair and smiled, but Wonder Woman and Shayera glared at the top-hat wearing heroine. It didn't take a genius to figure out what the two veterans were thinking. Supergirl was so young and came off a bit naïve.

"Don't tell Superman, but...ninety-two."

Maybe not so naïve.

Batman pressed a button to shut off the monitors. He and Question locked the doors behind them and started for the elevator. The laughter and muted conversation from Training Room One echoed down the hall after them.

When they were safely several levels away, Batman glanced at Question from the corner of his eye. "You knew what was going on in there, didn't you?"

The Question didn't answer.