I don't own the X-Files
As I sat there I couldn't believe what lay before me in his own little bed. My son. I now had a son, a child I had longed for was now mine to love and hold and raise. I knew that I would be the best mother I could and never let him down. He slept peacefully in his little basinet, his soft skin was like silk on my fingertips and I still found it hard to believe that he was mine, my little miracle. I was lead to believe for a part of my life that conception for me was impossible and even when I was seven months pregnant and had those small things to remind me it was all true, the extra pounds being one of them, I still couldn't believe it, but now it was different he had my eyes and my ears I knew he was truly mine.
Mulder is behind me, he's been standing there for the past couple of minutes watching over me. I know because I can feel his stare on my back. He questions things about our son, mostly how he came to be, how he was brought into this world and why. But one thing we don't question anymore is who the father is, we know. His smile, his nose are of that of his father and I'm sure that as he grows he will have his father's heart and determination.
Though many people doubt the fatherhood of one William Scully Mulder, I know we don't. It all fits into place, around the time of his conception, Mulder was the only one I was seeing. We had just been told that my last try had failed, that night we had realized that the whole experience had brought us closer as a couple and that no matter hat he would be there for me and I for him. Let's just say I'm almost positive that's the night our little miracle came to be, I feel that's the night everything took place and two single celled organisms met and multiplied rapidly to create the being that they sleeping before us now. Where my half of the cells came from it is a mystery, but I feel the doctors overlooked something and that it was there, our true last hope. An ova that was overlooked or forgotten about, whatever it was I know Mulder is his father.
"You need to get some sleep." Mulder said coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist while looking down at our sleeping child.
"I don't want to, I can't leave him alone, what if he needs me?" I beg, I know I will be able to hear him if he cries, but I don't want to sleep and wake up to having this be a dream. I don't want to wake up alone in my bed with no child at all, I feel as if this miracle is too good to be true.
"If he needs you, he'll let you know. Come on you better get some sleep." He says as he starts moving me in the direction of the bed.
I follow his movement and finally rest on the bed, I fall back and relax my head and give a slight yawn. Ok I'm more tired than I think, but I must admit I have to be. I gave birth a few hours ago. I lay down and allow Mulder to tuck me in. He places a soft kiss on my cheek and does so to the top of William's head before walking towards the door.
"Wait!" I call.
It's not supposed to be like this, we're supposed to be in the same bed together.
"What?" He asks turning back to find me sitting up in bed.
"Sleep with me, please." I beg him. I don't want to be alone, not now. I need him by my side, I need to know he will never leave me when I need him the most, I need to know he will never leave our son, and if he does it needs to be for something I see as equally important.
I move the blankets back and smile as he makes his way over to the other side of the bed and crawls in. As he lays down and covers himself, I rest my head on his chest and relax at the sound of his beating heart, I smile to myself as I come to realize our hearts beat perfectly in sync with the other and I began to ponder if Williams does the same. I make a mental note to find out soon.
Sleep comes easy to me and soon I find myself in a deep slumber, I feel his hands softly around my waist as he pulls me closer to his sleeping form, it has been a while since I felt this way, the security of another. The safety warms my heart knowing I have somebody to love, someone who returns the feelings. As I lay here sleeping, I realize I'm slowly waking up, there is something in the distance of my mind. It's loud and trying to make a statement, I slowly come back to the waking world and hear the cries of my son. I peek a look over to the clock and see I have only been asleep for two hours, my how time flies.
As I crawl out of bed half asleep I feel something pull me back down and I force myself to fight back.
"Lay down. I'll get him." Mulder says pulling me down before getting up himself and waking over to the basinet with our crying infant. I listened as William was picked up by his father and carried over to me. I had allowed my eyes to close and I was half asleep, I could tell Mulder felt bad for having to nudge me awake. "Scully! Wake up, I hate to wake you, but he needs you."
"What?" I ask opening my eyes to see him over me, William's crying had subsided a bit, but it was obvious as to what he wanted.
"I think he's hungry." He said smiling down to him as I began to unbutton my night top. "And there is not much I can do for him."
"Don't worry, I have what he wants." I say taking him into my arms and placing him where he has been crying to be. Once finished Mulder takes him and burps him as I am allowed to go back to sleep and it isn't long before I feel Mulder re-enter the bed. I quickly make my way back over into his embrace and fall back asleep.
It's early in the morning, or so I think. At least the birds outside seem to be telling me that. I rolled over onto my stomach and find myself in the bed alone, no Mulder and as I listen to the sounds in the room I hear no William. I quickly sit up in the bed and began to wonder if my nightmare had come true. Was it all a dream? could the love of my life and my son just disappear? I must say it's a little crazy, but I've seen things far more strange. This would be an X-File, but I don't want it to be, I want it to be real, I want that life. As I ponder this I see across the room the basinet and as I walk over to it I find it empty. If it were a dream I wouldn't have this, I wouldn't feel so weak, my room wouldn't have a stuffed toy bear on the floor.
I quickly leave the room and enter the living room to see Mulder sitting on the couch, in his arms is William, fast asleep. There is water in his eyes from what I can see, he had most likely woken up crying and as I make my way over to my son and his father Mulder gives me a smile and a kiss on the lips as I bend down for it.
"I thought you left me." I say sitting next to him.
"Not yet." He jokes softly. "I won't leave unless you tell me to."
"I will never push you away, not unless it means the safety of you or our little boy." I tell him the truth, I would never want him to leave us, but I know that if the time were to some and we were in danger I would tell him to leave, but I would do all I could to find him again.
From the table in the corner a small noise sounded and I got up from my seat and walked over to the phone and picked it up. The voice on the other end quickly apologized for calling so early, but stated that a need to talk to Mulder and I was necessary. I looked over to Mulder and forced a smile as details were given.
Kersh had seemed upset on the phone and after dropping William off at my mothers, we had headed straight for the FBI building, I could only hope what was going to happen was good and that our son would soon have two employed parents.
Needless to say, the conversation was bad. Mulder was in danger and William was at risk as well. We had been told of our dangers and that Mulder leaving would be the best and as much as I hated to admit it, Kersh had a point. I knew I had to talk Mulder into leaving for a while, just until everything was safe. Finally, after much coaxing on my part, Mulder has agreed to leave and now as I lay here in his arms and William lays sleeping in his basinet, I know what we have chosen is the best. He will leave tomorrow and return when we both feel the time is right.
As I stand here now, holding the crying baby in my arms as I look over the bags that sit by the door, I know my son is crying for a reason, but he isn't hungry, he doesn't need a change and he just woke up from his nap, it was almost as if he knew his father was leaving us for a while. It seemed as if he begged this to be different and for him to stay and as his mother I feel I should be able to make him happy, but I know I can't, sadly this pains me greatly.
Hours have passed, we had finally gotten the last of Mulder's things out of his apartment and into mine two hours ago. Now I stand at the airport entrance holding William in my arms saying good-bye to the man I have come to trust with my life and heart, the man I love dearly and will do anything for. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on William's head before pulling me into a hug and kissing me passionately. His lips move softly against mine and I regret not being able to go with him, wherever he is headed, my heart aches as his mouth invades mine once more for the next few months or so, we are still unclear as to how long he will be gone.
"I love you." He whispered it in my ear, as if the truth to all the secrets in the world were in that little statement. "Don't you ever forget that." It's all I can do not to cry, but still I find a tear drop falling, I only nod and try to keep it together.
"I love you too." I finally manage to get out before he kisses me again and says good-bye to William.
"When I get back, we'll get married I promise. We'll be a real family." I believe him, he was never one to break a promise to me and as I watch him turn and leave I hold myself back from chasing after him. I will await his return until I see him again. William sense the loss presence as he begin to cry in my arms.
"It's ok, baby. Daddy will be back. But until then it's just me and you." I tell him as I place him in his car seat and drive off. Never knowing when I'll see my love again. My vision is watery thanks to my tears and I don't blame William for crying, as much as I hate to admit it, we may never see him again, but I will wait, my heart and my love will always be his.
Please tell me how it was, thanks for reading.