Okay I've downloaded the Open Office writer from So far, not impressed. Take s to long to show up on my lap top and ever longer to catch up with my typing speed. Anyhow I don't have a dependable writer on my laptop. Yes, it is fixed. Sorry this is late, I'm in a hurry trying to put this out. The chapter TECHNICALLY is done right now HOWEVER my network card fried on my PC. SO, guess what ladies and gentlemen. I have to start all over again...

Pray nothing else happens in the mean time... Never mind it just did. Union (Local 51) just text me, Disney might subcontract our jobs. Meaning hundreds (putting it extremely lightly) of us will be laid off. Meaning me. I'm to dead right now inside about worrying about my job in Disney's California Adventure to care about truly Wished my beta. Sorry to her I know I sent this chapter to beta but.. ... I don't know what tomorrow will bring anymore.

I would say call Disney and speak your mind out subcontractors running their resturants but what would anyone care. Loss of our jobs would mean new jobs for others.

Heres to not knowing what tomorrow will bring!

::blares Matchbox Twenty Unwell, hee hee perfect Ichigo song.::

Oh yeah, to the group. It's gay tested-Gay approved. As is all my male/male lemons.


Two days had passed, taking advantage of a fall down the stairs Ichigo and Renji headed over to Udahara's shop. There Renji was forced to swallow a pill that got his legs working, however made his nerves very sensitive. Idly Ichigo watched the red head as he bounded around the hidden basement. Renji was stronger now but still so unsteady on his feet. Sighing heavily Ichigo sat up and sauntered towards the shingami.

"Ichigo, what is up?" Renji called leaning on a giant rock.

"It's been a long day."

"Huh?" Renji blinked at Ichigo's statement.

"I'm sick of staring at the ceiling, I'm beginning to think I'm hearing voices."

"I'm certain Udahara has a pill for that."

Reaching out Ichigo graced his finger across Renji's soft flesh, tracing the tattoo's that stood dark against his tanned skin. The red head shuddered and pulled away. Any touch from the orange haired teen threatened to send him over the edge. Why did Ichigo need to tease him so.

The night after the incident Renji had stole a kiss. What made matters more infuriating was that Ichigo kissed him back. Not shyly, but full on. He had felt the orange haired boys erection rub against his own. How ever it was not meant to be. Ichigo had moved away, stating that he couldn't do it. When the red head tried to pull away, Ichigo held unto him. All night Ichigo held him like a lover.

"I don't want to end up like you."

"Dammit Ichigo-" Renji yelled slapping away the other man's hand.

In a smooth movement Ichigo caught the red heads arm, and using his momentum yanked Renji towards them. There was only passion as Ichigo kissed Renji. He to pondered the night they kissed. That night was regretful, he should have let things get out of control. But his own fears, and securities had gotten him in trouble.

"Let see how far we come." Ichigo said his lips moving against Renji's.

"Fuck you." Renji snapped slapping Ichigo with his free hand then kissed the orange haired boy violently.

With a great heave Ichigo shoved Renji back unto the ground. The force knocked the breathe out of the red head. Before he got his breath back the orange haired teen was apon him. His kiss preventing him from taking a breathe. Only when the world started turning red he kneed Ichigo. It did not hurt Ichigo, but he broke the kiss anyway.

"I'm tired of doing that." Ichigo finally replied.

Grabbing a fist full of hair Renji looked Ichigo in the eyes. "Shit man, don't mess with me anymore."

"Anything is better then being alone Renji." Ichigo said. "I just need to know, what do you plan on doing if we take this step."

"What do you mean?" Renji felt his blood boil. "I'm going to love you."

"It's never that easy!" Ichigo reached forward and touched Renji's face. "We can't announce it to the world. It's not that I am ashamed about what I feel for you. Just think about being brought forth as my lover bring!"

"I..." The red head let go of Ichigo's hair. "I never thought."

"You would be my weak spot Renji, right now no one knows who I love most." Ichigo continued. "Instead of spreading out and hitting me in a broad spectrum, he could just come and get you."

"Stop, just tell me Ichigo do-you-love-me?"

"I'll wake with out you there, but something will be missing." The orange haired teen avoided answering yes.

The shinigami surrendered to the invading hands. Moaning Renji's back arched as Ichigo's hands slid slowly under the loose folds of his kimono. Now the loose folds of the Shinigami outfit seemed all to confining. Shrugging out of his Kimono brought him to Ichigo's lips. Caught between shoving the orange haired teen aside, and taking him right there and then. Hormones raging the two men aimed to get it over with before anything interrupted them.

Beep, beep, beep.

Swearing Ichigo pulled off of the half naked Renji and pulled out Renji's new 'cellphone.' On the map of the city showed a hallow. With no word to the red head Ichigo stormed towards the ladder out. Placing a hand over his face he resisted the urge to scream. His sensitive nerves with bouncing with drug, and hormones. This time his hand would not be enough, curling unto his side the red head thought of his duties. They always turned him off.

It didn't take long before his mind turned away from his duties to Ichigo again. The words Ichigo had said so simply held so much truth. What did Renji hope would happen if he would take Ichigo as his lover. Yes, no one would mind, it was actually cowmen, but he would come Ichigo's weak point. No matter how strong he was, he still wasn't strong enough. If Aizen came after him today he would be over powered in no time.

//You must become stronger.// A voice voice echoed in Renji's mind. //Until then forget it.//


//Then maybe you shouldn't love.// Another voice hissed in reply.


//Then what do you choose to do?//

"What do I choose to do?"

Hell if the red head knew. Sitting up Renji studied the different grands of sands on the ground. It was pointless, he could never love Renji until Aizen was beat... Beat Aizen that was the only way to be with Ichigo. That fight was set for the winter. He could until then deny what he felt for the orange haired teen.

A cold hand touched Renji's bare shoulder"You shouldn't talk to yourself it makes you sound crazy."

There was a small hesitation before the red head spoke. "Ichigo? I thought you went to destroy the hollow."

"I did, but there's a sign on the door stating it's 3 am they don't want to be woken up and they'll let us out later." Ichigo wrapped his arms around Renji's shoulders. Kissing his neck softly the orange haired teen nuzzled Renji's neck. "So what did you decide?"

"That if I want to love you I have to kill AiZen." Renji grumped. "I can deny I love you only until next summer, but on one condition."


Reaching up Renji wrapped his fingers around Ichigo's neck. Bringing Ichigo down were he could finally reach him, and kiss him. It was awkward kissing at such an angle s abruptly Ichigo turned the red head in his arms. He cupped Renji's face in his hands, and explored the red head's decadent mouth.

Renji's head swam as he literally tore the white fabric that held the orange haired teens Hakima on. He didn't know why he just had to hiave him right here, right now. Screw it if anyone came along and caught them.

Looking down at Renji, Ichigo had the cutest stunned expression on his face as the red head pulled the Hakima down over his hips. He gave him a wicked grin. "Is that the best you can do?"

(sorry skips here censored cause I'm not dealing with any more -

"I'm not leaving you anymore!" Renji yelled in Ichigo's ear. "No matter what happnens, hold on to me and never let go."

"Your making me feel guilty for making you wait!" There was a void in Ichigo's voice as he screamed back. "I keep dreaming of you with me like this too!"


The two men butted head for a moment before they both calmed down.

Rocks bit into the red heads back but held Ichigo tighter. Closing his eyes he tried to push away the world. In his mind he pictured a world Rikichi was not a unwilling guest, Aizen was delt with, and he was with Ichigo... Yet, even with the war over, how could he be with Ichigo? Ichigo haid his faimly, his life, and Renji was in the soul society. Only death could bring Ichigo over.

But no one retained memories of when they were alive.


Staring up at the rain filled clouds Rikichi sneezed. The yellow lion blessed him politely. The possessed lion was his company for these slow moving days. There was really no point in going out and venturing. Tendoh had yet to come back to show him the dangers. Sighing Rikichi laid back on the wooden floor.

"Lets go out, just a little bit. The garden can't be that dangerous." The lion whined. "I know Renji would do it."

That was the only persuasion the young Shingami needed. "Fine, let me get the umbrella."

Grabbing the paper umbrella discarded in the corner Rikichi slid on his shoes and stepped into the rain. Rain pattered on the paper streaming down in small water falls. Looking around the shrine was bigger then he first thought. Much of it had collapsed over the years. Wild life has grown in around much of the ruins disguising it. Slowly he made his way around the trees. Stupidly he let his guard slip.

The umbrella clattered to the ground, as Rikichi felt himself slammed into the tree. His vision blurred from the impact. Stunned he looked at a hooded person who held him against the ruff bark. Who else could see him in this form. The figure leaned forward, everything about his stature made the young Shinagami uncomfortable. Fisting his hands together Rikichi swung them at the arms holding his shoulders. Tilting down under the perssure Rikichi blindly kicked the man and ran.

He didn't get far before he was grabbed and slammed into a stone block.

"I love it when they fight." Came a chill voice, as the hood slowly slid back.

Rikichi's eyes opened wide.