Autobots 101 Chapter 8

Authors Note: Hello everyone. As I have yet to get a completely flaming review I have opened up my email for the public to see. If you are too lazy to check it is Good things to e-mail me about are things you want to see. I got the Kegger and Decepticon Panty raid Idea already hehe… you guys are perverts but whatever makes you happy. Things not to e-mail me about is for pictures of myself in real life. You are probably like "What?" but it has happened before so I am just stating in advance, you will be blocked. Remember WWJD and WWOPD?

"Report Blackout" came a voice from Megatron's "throne". It was Starscream yet again pretending to be the leader and it was beginning to annoy Blackout.

"I report only to Megatron as the details of my mission are confidential" said Blackout. What he wouldn't give to just take his blades of his back and…

Megatron burst through the door and Starscream jumped off the throne like a scared kitty. Megatron walked dramatically slowly to his throne where he took a glance at Starscream, who was now standing next to the throne, for a moment before sitting down. "Blackout report"

"Yes Lord Megatron" Blackout reported a mission success. He told him that the female was ready to be manipulated in any way possible and gave a detailed psychological report leaving out a few small unimportant details like a kiss. It wasn't important right, a small token of affection was nothing between friends…

"You should go for it Optimus" commented Jazz. Jazz was sitting relaxed back onto a wall. "You would make a much better president than Megatron"

Optimus was still having an internal war though. "If I win I'd be no better than Megatron. Humans should decide their own fate."

"Optimus" stated Ironhide "You are a far better leader than any human I've ever known and if you're still not on board, just think about what Megatron would do if he won"

Optimus' face was still contorted in worry. Bumble Bee wanted to speak up, right her and right now. Sam would finally know that he was just as reliable as Optimus. "I'll…"

"Ok I'll do it" said Optimus. Everyone cheered including Sam. Bee clapped his hands halfheartedly. "What were you saying Bumble Bee?"

"I'll be right back" sighed Bee as he left the room. Bee didn't hate Optimus, even though he got everything. He supposed a lot of bad things happened to Optimus over the years too though.

"Frenzy come and Report"


I have taken an analysis of the student body and the extracurricular activities they belong to. It appears that the majority of them belong to a Sorority or a Fraternity. The most populated Fraternity is Alpha Omega Delta while the most popular sorority is Omega Omega Tau

"Anything I should know about these before I assign Starscream and Barricade to infiltrate them?"



"Very well then you know what to do" said Megatron waving his minions on with their tasks from his comfortable throne. Barricade sighed. "Oh shut up, at least you're not a girl" said Starscream.

"Ok guys you want to be popular? You need a band" said Sam.

"Surely there is another way" said Ironhide " I'd rather not blow my audio out"

"That's why we have earplugs" said Sam.

"Sam, my audio on the drone does not come through my ears"


"I think it's a great Idea" said Ratchet from the doorway entering the common room.

"Ratchet are you…"

"Never been better Optimus" said Ratchet smiling. Optimus could tell there was something wrong. Ratchet didn't ever get this… energetic. Still, it would be best not to confront that old issue now and 'open an old wound' as the humans say.

"Alright everyone get into your human bodies" said Sam
"drones" corrected Ratchet still smiling.

"Uh sure"

They complied and in a few minutes they were all standing in front of Sam. "Alright Ironhide, you will play the drums" said Sam.

"And why is that?" asked Ironhide.

"because the biggest person is always the drummer"

Ironhide grunted but then moved to the side. "Alright Optimus has to do vocals and Lead guitar since he is running so that taken care of… Bee you can play Bass"

Bee and Optimus moved aside. Ratchet still looked like a semblance of Spike and an anime character would not fly well in the band. "Ratchet you'll have to cut your hair and can you not look so anorexic, then you can play keyboard"

"Very well I shall modify my appearance" said Ratchet walking over and picking up a scalpel.

"No no no no no" said Sam "We don't use scalpels to cut ourselves when we need to change, people will call you emo and that will hurt our chances"

"Very well I shall modify the drone externally"

Something was weird. Ratchet was acting too happy. Ratchet was almost never happy, I mean he wasn't depressed but he was just always too serious to be happy.

"What can I do Sam?" asked Jazz

"You're the car"


"Well we need an awesome car, and you do look the coolest"


"And how will we get places without a vehicle"

"… O.K." Jazz sighed. He knew music was in him. No really, he had downloaded the entirety of napster.

"So you guys practice some"

"I have already mastered the guitar" said Optimus.

"When did you learn?" asked Sam

"I downloaded it"

"…sometimes I hate you"

"Sam! Surely I have not provoked your fury?"

"It's an expression" interjected Bee.

"Well such condescending 'expressions' hurt my feelings" said Optimus.

Everyone looked at Optimus stunned.

"What? The first step to knowing yourself is understanding how you feel. It's the first law of psychology"

The room was silent. "Hey Optimus, maybe you should try laying off the psychology classes" said Jazz.

"Why? I have found it both raises my self awareness and helps with my interactions with others"


"That's why"

"So, you guys want to join Alpha Omega Delta?" asked the Frat officer as he patrolled down the line of candidates. Little did he know that one of his candidates was an evil robot bent on infiltrating their ranks.

"Yes sir" said the company, Barricade included.

"Then you have two hours to sneak into a sorority and steal a pair of panties. The first ten will be admitted into the fraternity while the others are out of luck. At the end of two hours if you don't have the underwear you fail regardless whether ten of you have it or not, understood"

"Yes sir"

"Go get em boys"

Barricade called for frenzy, this was much more up his alley. Frenzy responded to the beacon summons and appeared in front of Barricade.

"I need you to climb the window and steal a pair of female lower undergarments". The robot complied and began doing all sorts of wild acrobats to get up to the window. "…showoff". As the window opened Barricade began to pick up noise on his receptors. It was coming from inside but was very faint. Frenzy returned to the window holding up a pair of panties as his victory trophy.


"…fine. Oh Frenzy you are soooo great… Can I have them now?"


"You know what, I don't care! Megatron said to do this, not me so you aren't defying me, you are defying Megatron"


"I'm just going to be the bigger robot and ignore that…shortstuff"

Blackout was outside Katie's house, simply observing her. He had to know what had happened with his reasoning and logic functions that night when she had kissed him. It was dark and the girl was watching televison. It was about a man named Dresden and apparently a police woman who was his "love interest". The show finally ended and Blackout was a little upset. Why hadn't the male and the female accepted their relationship and begun their courtship process. Suddenly Katie turned around. Blackout froze, hoping his black paint would blend him in with the night. It initially worked until the girl came outside. A look of anger was on her face. "What are you?"

She didn't recognize him in this form which was about the only pro to this situation. This sortie was self initiated and Megatron would be mad if he exposed the decepticons. "I am a robot"

"Well I figured that out, but why are you here and why do you want to hurt people!?!"

"My function is not to hurt people"

"Then what is it"

"My function is classified"

"I'm going to call the police!"

Blackout shot a small and thin beam at a line in the ground.

"Your telephone service is dead"

The girl pounded her fists down on the table "Why do you have to make my life miserable?!?"

"… That was never my intended goal"

The girl looked at him differently now, she was confused "You seem familiar"

Authors note: Meh I have had soooo much work lately, sorry for not updating. My internet went down for a while. It made me a little sad.