Author's plea/ note: Want request for oneshots! Even multi chapters. I'm so very bored before school starts… Oh and this story is cracked out to hell.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of The Final Fantasy franchise.

Bedtime In A Coffin

"Knock knock! I'm coming in so put on your pants!"

He felt his coffin lid open and almost sighed. There would be no point in pretending to sleep since that wouldn't stop her, it never did. So instead he moved his human arm over so that the petite girl could cuddle against him. He felt her warmth against his side and had to stop himself from wrapping himself completely around the girl, instead only allowing his human arms to rest on her hip. To him her warmth was addictive and he always regretted having to let her go in the morning.

"Vinnie," She said simply, "I can't sleep."

"Yuffie," He said still refusing to open his eyes to look at her. Though she couldn't see in the dark, with his "advances" bestowed upon him by Hojo he could see her perfectly. "Ever since you moved into my mansion a few months ago you never can seem to fall asleep on your own."

"Your house talks too loud." She said with an exasperated sigh, as if that statement would explain everything. When he only grunted in response she elaborated, "It's always creaking and groaning, especially at night. How am I supposed to sleep to that?"

Vincent finally opened his blood red eyes and looked into her large storm gray ones. Another reason he never liked to look at her, especially in the dark, was because his eyes glowed and that would only make it too obvious that he had a bad habit of staring at her.

"Tell me a funny story tonight." She said, already knowing that he would give in to her demands.

Again he sighed. Then he began:

Once upon a time there was a princess from a far off kingdom.

"Ew! How cliché is that!"

"Shut it… you wanted a story so you get one. Anyway:

She wasn't very pretty and she wasn't particularly smart. But what she lacked in those attributes she more then made up for it in unfaltering ego.

"Hey!" Yuffie pouted. But Vincent continued as if not interrupted.

When the princess was sixteen she was cursed by an evil seamstress who was jealous and also worried that such a small and spoiled girl would rule over the country. So the seamstress cursed that the princess be forced to… die. So the princess did.


And the kingdom prospered and everyone was happy. The End.


Vincent allowed himself to grin since Yuffie wouldn't see it anyway. "What's wrong princess?"

Yuffie pouted, "What's wrong!? You totally did that story wrong. That's whats wrong!"

"But if it was MY story I can hardly see how I did it wrong." Vincent said matter of factly.

"Forget it blood sucker! I'll do it:

So the awesome and amazingly cool princess kicked the crap out of the stupid old seamstress after she PRETENDED to die! But the stupid seamstress knew in her heart that she never could beat the super smart princess so she made a back up plan. So after the princess beat her the old lady cursed the beautiful princess to live in an evil old house. What they both didn't know though was that the house was already occupied! Occupied by a vampire who slept in a coffin! OOOooooooOOOOOOOOOoooohh!!!!

Yuffie then raised her arms and made 'spooky' ghost noises. Vincent rolled his eyes but let the young girl continue.

For you see once… at round the same time if not a few years earlier; there was a dark and lonely vampire. Well, he wasn't so much lonely as he was just angsty and more then a little dramatic.

Vincent's eyebrow twitched.

Punishing himself every waking moment for losing the love of his life to a creepy but VERY rich scientist, never feeling he was punished enough, he came up with a solution. He decided that he would force himself to sleep for 1000 years with only nightmares and icky dust mites to keep him company.

Well, only about 20 or 30 years when the princess was forced to go there. It was then that she came across the coffin. Before her, years passed in silence. Then he was woken up by someone pounding on his coffin. He was more then a little grumpy to say the least! "Who dare wake me?" The vampire asked in his most booming voice (which was only about a 4.5 on the booming voice scale).

The he heard the most beautiful voice he had ever heard say on the outside, "Candy gram."

"… What!?"

"Don't interrupt my story!"

"WHAT!?" the vampire said as he opened his coffin only to fall in love the moment his eyes feel upon the princess! So she decided that he was cool enough and married him. True love broke the curse and they ruled over there country together happy and dust mite free. The End.

"Really?" he said turning on to his side to face her. She just giggled and nuzzled her face against his chest. "So I fell in love with you just like that?"

"Oh yeah baby! You wanted me bad." She said then had another giggle fit.

Vincent only smirked and pulled her close. Wrapping his arms around her small frame and nuzzling her neck he whispering in his deep rich voice, "I still want you and I'll always will." Yuffie's breath hitched as she knew she wasn't going to sleep much tonight. He slowly nibbled on her neck causing her to make the mewing sounds that he loved so much. 'Such a responsive little princess' He thought slowly lifting up her top.

She suddenly bolted upright and smacked Vincent over the head. "I am not about to do it in a coffin you creepy pervert!" She screeched. Hopping out of the coffin in a huff she stormed over to the door. Yanking it open she turned and said, "I you want me I'll be in my bed like a NORMAL person." She stormed off muttering under her breath about perverts and blood suckers.

"That woman will be the death of me." Vincent said getting out of the coffin and quickly following his princess.

The End!?!?!?!? … Probably

Author's note: As always thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you generally think. Don't be mean, for I have low self esteem and will pout. Don't blame me that it sucks I just wanted to do something silly.