A/N – I love Cagney and Lacey but this is my first fan fic of them. This is basically Christine's thoughts and feelings one night soon after Charlie died, I don't own any of it. Please read and review!

Christine Cagney sat alone in her top floor apartment drinking a glass of water, she had been sober for almost two weeks now and it seemed to be getting harder. All she could think about was Charlie, could she have done anything more to help him? Would he have been proud of her for doing AA? To take her mind off it she switched on the radio, the first few notes of Bonnie Tyler's total eclipse of the heart filled the lonely room.

Turn Around.

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you never come around,

Turn Around.

Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears,

Turn Around.

Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by,

Turn Around.

Every now any then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes,

Turn Around Bright Eyes.

For the first time in so long Chris wondered if life was passing her by. She thought of Mary-Beth and her seemingly perfect family and of Charlie and how short life felt. Then she began to wonder about David, should she forgive him? Could she forgive him? He had taken care of her that night when she had been so drunk; did it mean he still loved her?

Every now and then I fall apart,

Turn Around Bright Eyes.

Christine sang along the second time,

Every now and then I fall apart,

Turn Around

She began to cry silently, thinking about what could have been.

Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild,

Turn Around

Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms,

Turn Around

Images and dreams began to dance around Christine's head. A house in the suburbs, David playing with two small children on the lawn and herself laughing along as they chased one another around in the long green grass. She shook her head as if she was trying to shake away the picture.

Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry,

Turn Around

Christine began to cry harder thinking again of Charlie, David and what might have been.

Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes,

Turn Around Bright Eyes.

Chris could still see David's deep brown eyes looking in to her own. It made her think of him and begin to wonder again.

Every now and then I fall apart

Turn Around Bright Eyes.

Chris began to sing along through her tears thinking of David and finally admitting to herself that she still loved him.

And I need you now tonight,

She sang louder and louder not caring who was listening.

And I need you more than ever

And if you'll only hold me tight,

We'll be holding on forever.

And we'll only be making it right,

Cus we'll never be wrong.

Together we can take it to the end of the line,

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time.

I don't what to do I'm always in the dark …

Christine's sobs grew louder and louder drowning out the music. She cried angry tears as thoughts of Charlie and David flitted in and out of her head. The pain of then was almost too much to bear. She started listening to the song again,

Once apon a time I was falling in love,

Now I'm only falling apart.

Nothing I can do,

A Total Eclipse of the Heart

Chris sat with her head in her hands, memories of David filled her brain.

"I need him here" she sobbed to the empty room.

Once apon a time there was light in my life,

Now there's only love in the dark.

Nothing I can say,

A Total Eclipse of The Heart

Christine looked around the darkened room; she felt a wave of loneliness and depression. Her she was at forty one sipping water all alone in a dark apartment on a Saturday night. She wondered what Mary-Beth was doing with Harvey but she didn't dare wonder about David. Picturing him with someone else as he could have been just then would be unbearable.

Turn Around Bright Eyes.

Turn Around Bright Eyes.

Turn Around

Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be

Turn Around

But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am,

Turn Around

That made her think of David too, she had been out with lots of guys in the past few years but he had been the only one who had stuck by her when she really needed it.

Every now and then I know there's nothing any better,

There's nothing that I just wouldn't do,

Turn Around Bright Eyes.

Every now and then I fall apart,

Turn Around Bright Eyes.

Every now and then I fall apart.

Chris reflected on this, she had always come across as tough and independent but she did sometimes fall apart, although it was not often that she admitted it, and David had always been there for her.

And I need you now tonight,

Chris began to sing along again,

And I need you more than ever,

And if you'll only hold me tight,

We'll be holding on forever.

And we'll only be making it right,

Cus we'll never be wrong.

There was a knock on the door, Chris went to answer it but instead of looking who was there as she always did he just swung open the door.

"Chris!" David stepped into the room just as the next line was being sung,

Together we can make it to the end of the line,

"David" said Chris, she was unable to hide behind her usual sarcasm. The protective wall she put up every day had been broken down by the song and her thoughts.

"Are you alright?" he asked, Christine just fell into his arms and he held her listening to the song words.

I really need you tonight,

Forever's gonna start tonight,

Forever's gonna start tonight.

Once apon a time I was falling in love,

Now I'm only falling apart.

Nothing I can do,

Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Once apon a time there was light in my life,

Now there's only love in the dark

Nothing I can say,

Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Total Eclipse of the Heart.

"Not anymore" David told her, switching off the radio and kissing Christine on the lips. "I love you Chris and I will forever," he promised as he held her all through the night.