Warnings - Shonen-ai, sibling incest, angst.
Disclaimer - All Yu-Gi-Oh GX characters (c) Kazuki Takahashi, etc. Other characters/concepts (c) their respective owners. Story (c) SamCC
Authors notes – Didn't think this would be the first GX fanfic I'd write. Although I don't support Ryo/Shou myself a friend of mine was telling me how individual Ryo/Shou fans were being bashed on While I don't mind discussion upon why people think various pairings won't work out it doesn't seem right that people should be harassed for what they like so I wrote this Ryo/Shou drabble to show them some support.
But as I said before I don't support Ryo/Shou myself so if this fic is inaccurate I apologise.
Honourable big brother.
That was a term used in Japan by a sibling to show they had the highest respect for their elder brother. Shou still called Ryo that when he was talking to his face, but only when he was talking to his face. Any other time he now simply called him big brother.
And Ryo wasn't the only person he called big brother. There was Juudai too, his "Aniki". He had always called Juudai big brother because Juudai was exactly what a big brother should be in Shou's eyes: cheerful, encouraging, willing to spend as much time with Shou as he wanted.
Ryo was none of these things. He was always negative and had even told Shou that he wasn't good enough to be in the academy. As much as this had made Shou want to succeed in duelling to prove him wrong at the same time it hurt to hear his brother say something like that about him.
But this did not mean that Shou hated Ryo. On the contrary he had the utmost respect for his brother, along with a little fear. But that wasn't all…
In the deepest corner of his heart he had to admit there was something about Ryo he found a little attractive. It pained him to admit to it but he did.
Perhaps that was one of the reasons he couldn't stand to be around his brother since enrolling at the academy, perhaps it was the shame… The shame of being the loser, both too short and too low ranking to even look into the perfect face of Ryo. He couldn't bear staring at those ice-cold eyes. The stoic face that rejected his presence in every way…
Not that Ryo's lack of emotion stopped other people hanging around him. While he tried his best to stay away from other people when Ryo walked through the school a gang of admirers often followed him.
All of whom he refused to acknowledge. With the except of Asuka, who he seemed to regard as almost being a female equal to him he wouldn't even talk to most of the other students. Not even to tell them to leave him alone.
Though this didn't bother the followers, they were happy enough to be allowed to be around him at all. And this was what really made Shou angry with them. If Ryo's own brother was not good enough to bask in Ryo's glory then what made these students think that they were?
He supposed it wasn't their fault; its not as if most people even knew Ryo had a brother in the first place.
Maybe it was because of his childhood that he'd wanted to be so close to Ryo. While they were growing up Ryo and Shou had both been quite isolated from other people.
This was when Shou's admiration of Ryo had begun. Back then his brother would defend him if need be, back then his face was softer, but most importantly back then it was just the two of them.
Shou loved watching Ryo get on with his extra studying after school every day. His brother was already a prodigy and needed lots of time to study but this didn't bother Shou at all. He would sit and watch Ryo quietly on his little stool – as Ryo didn't like any noise. Back then Ryo still had a stern expression while he worked, but only while he worked. When he was away from the study room Ryo would smile at him and treat him like a real brother.
These memories were among the fondest Shou had, and he enjoyed looking back on them. But the experience was always short lived. As once Shou finished remembering what his brother used to be like it brought him back to the painful reality of what he was like now.
And at that point of change admiration had turned to attraction.
Somehow the rejected from Ryo had made him want to be with him more. To be good enough to once more sit and watch him work like he used to so long ago. To be able to be in Ryo's presence and not receive that harsh glare. To be accepted by him, to be with him, just… him. Shou just wanted him. And this was something he knew he'd never have…
His thoughts must have shown on his face because Juudai was asking him what was wrong the next time he surfaced from his thoughts to take breath in reality.
"I was just thinking about my brother…" he said. This was the truth but Juudai didn't need to know the exact details.
"You're still worrying about him?" Juudai asked, looking concerned, "I don't see why you have so much trouble talking to him. I don't even know him that well but I can talk to him no problem. You're his brother so surely it'd be…"
"Easier?" Shou finished, slightly surprised that Juudai had pin pointed the problem to the troubles he was having talking to Ryo, "Its not as simple as you might think. Ryo's the best duellist in the academy and he expects so much from me… I can't live up to him…"
"But you can't carry on being scared of him either Shou. There's only so many times I can defend you from him before you have to stand up and defend yourself," Juudai prompted, trying not to sound too harsh.
Shou nodded mutely. He knew Juudai was right but even so he could not bring himself to confront his brother. It was as unlikely as a little fish telling a big tidal wave not to be such an impressive force of nature.
He went through the rest of the day feeling just as down as he had done that morning. Watching Juudai duel didn't help. For as much as Juudai was his friend and accepted him in a way his brother did not he also possessed the same brilliant skill as Ryo did. The two of them were as unmatched in duelling talent as they were opposite in personality. And because of this Shou still saw Ryo's rejection when he looked at Juudai.
This had to stop. Juudai was his new big brother. The one he had chosen himself. And he would not let Ryo spoil his friendship with his new brother…
He purposely stayed late behind at class that day. He knew Ryo's routine well enough to choose a suitable time to leave and head back to the dorm.
Sure enough as he walked on the route past the lighthouse Ryo was there. He was always at the lighthouse around sunset. And Asuka was always there with him.
He watched the two of them talk from a good enough distance not to be seen. After so long Asuka left but Ryo remained, resuming the gaze on the ocean he had undoubtedly began before she arrived.
And then Shou stepped out. The distance from the harbour to the lighthouse felt as solid as the block of ice that separated him from his brother. Shou knew that Ryo would not make any attempts to break the ice between them. So perhaps Shou should try to do that on his own.
Taking a deep breath Shou took a step forwards – towards the brother he loved as much as he feared.