A/N: Okay, I've been thinking about writing this for Teddy for a long time and finally it's here! LOL
Tell me what you think, all right?
Seven-year-old Teddy Lupin bent over to pick up his stuffed wolf. "Moony," he whispered as he cuddled it close to him. His bright blue hair bounced as he slowly moved. He walked back to the kitchen where Ginny had been fixing lunch. "Ginny, Moony is already very hungry," he reported, still cradling the stuffed wolf in his arms.
Ginny looked at him. "Five minutes more, Teddy," she said as she continued to fix the sandwiches. Ginny noticed Teddy frown. "I'm really sorry, Teddy, but with James very cranky when he wakes up, my hands are all tied." She did feel sorry for Teddy. Before James was born, Teddy had been the center of attention of the Potters.
"Oh Teddy!" Teddy turned and saw Harry carrying his son. "I thought you weren't coming." Teddy watched as Harry brought little James over to his mother. "I'll fix lunch. You go up and feed James," he whispered to Ginny. Ginny nodded and went upstairs to feed James. Harry turned to Teddy. "So Tedders, what do you like for lunch? Cheese or peanut butter?" he asked.
Teddy blinked twice. "You always know what to get me," he murmured.
Harry slapped his forehead. "Oh yes, I almost forgot." He gave Teddy a wide smile. "You love jam." Harry took the jam from the cupboard and spread it on a sandwich. "Why don't you go sit over at the dining room and I'll bring your lunch there?" suggested Harry. Teddy didn't move. Harry stopped making the sandwich and looked at him closely. "Is there something the matter, Teddy?" he asked.
Teddy shook his head. He clutched his stuffed wolf tightly. Harry crouched down to his level and looked into Teddy's eyes. Teddy felt tears coming up, but he tried to hold them back. His godfather Harry had always told him to tough it out. He's a big boy now and he shouldn't be crying. He practically has a little brother, or that's what the Potters had told him. He knew he could never be one of the Potters. Now that Harry and Ginny have a child of their own, what is he to them?
"I don't think that's nothing," said Harry quietly. Teddy didn't reply. Harry sighed and placed his hand on Teddy's chest. "See? Your heart's telling me you've got to say something. Isn't it telling you that?" he asked and gazed upon the little boy's eyes.
"No," replied Teddy in a little voice. He knew if he spoke louder, he would have bawled right there and then. Teddy swallowed. He tried to evade Harry's eyes. No matter how much he wanted him to be, Harry could never be his father. Godson. He is only a godson.
Harry did not move. "Why aren't you looking at me then?" he asked. Teddy again did not reply. He tried to diverse his attention to the different things around him. "Ted, you've got to talk to me," said Harry. He placed a hand on Teddy's shoulder. Teddy slowly locked his eyes at Harry's face. "I know something's bothering you." Teddy blinked. "Ted, it's me, Harry. Didn't I tell you that you could tell me anything?" he said. Teddy nodded. "So what is it?"
Teddy's grip on his stuffed wolf tightened. "It's nothing," he whispered, still trying his best not to cry. Harry still looked deep into Teddy's eyes, stinging Teddy's heart. Tears streamed down Teddy's cheeks. "It's nothing," he repeated, but made no effort to wipe the tears away.
"My big brave Teddy doesn't cry for nothing," Harry pointed out. Teddy's lower lip quivered. Harry softly ran his fingers through Teddy's hair, which was now slowly turning purple. "Come on, Teddy. You've never hidden anything from me and I don't want you starting. You know you can talk to me. I don't want to see you like this. Is this about James?" he asked.
Teddy thought for a moment, then nodded. He couldn't stop himself from sobbing now. He held his stuffed wolf up to his face so Harry couldn't see his tears. He didn't want Harry to know that he was getting jealous. He knew well that he had no right to be, after all. Harry isn't his father. He had no right to get attention from him. Teddy knew this, but he couldn't help but feel rejected when James was born and he had to share "his" Harry with another person.
Harry slowly smiled. "It's okay, Ted. James is never going to take your place. You'll always be my favorite godson," he assured the little boy. Teddy did not lower his stuffed wolf. Harry pushed it down so he could see Teddy's face. "You're always going to be my favorite godson, I promise."
Teddy wiped his tears away with his free hand. "But James is going to be your favorite son and son is a lot closer than godson and it's easier spelled." Harry laughed at that. Teddy hated to be laughed at. He angrily looked away. Now he began to feel bitter.
Harry carried Teddy to the living room. "You're getting heavier that I can hardly hoist you up," said Harry. He gently put down Teddy on the couch. "I know it's hard when changes happen, but that's the only thing that's constant in our lives." Teddy looked a little confused with what Harry said. Harry smiled at him. "I love you, Teddy Lupin, and no new Potter going to be born is going to change that."
Teddy lowered his head. "But I'll be different. I'm no Potter," he murmured. Suddenly, he began to cry again. "I haven't got parents, Harry. They didn't love me. They left me." With a pained face, he looked up at Harry for a moment then looked away again. "It's unfair that James got to have you and Ginny to love him!" he cried.
Harry shook his head. "Look at me, Teddy." Teddy didn't look up. Harry placed a hand below Teddy's chin and raised it a bit so that their eyes could meet properly. "Your mum and dad love you. They both died to make a better world for you. I've already explained to you a dozen times, Teddy. They didn't leave you. They're still with-"
"You keep saying that over and over because you don't know what I feel!" retorted Teddy. "You don't know what it's like to watch James!" Teddy cried hard as he said it. "You don't know what it's like to see you and Ginny so excited about the baby. You said I'm going to be his older brother, well I don't think I am. I am not even related to you!" Teddy used his sleeve to wipe his tears. "It hurts to see you so happy about something that's got to do with James. I'm never going to be your son! I'll never have a place here! I'm just Ted Lupin, the kid that got left behind because his parents were killed in war!"
"So?" said Harry. Teddy was a bit surprised to hear that reaction. "So what if you are that kid who got left behind because his parents were killed in war?" Harry stood up. "Ted, you've got all the love given to you even if your parents were taken away from you. Remus and Tonks love you and I believe they still do. As for me having a son, I try to divide my time between you and James. I treat you as my own son. I never thought anything less of you."
Teddy sobbed, "It's unfair." He looked away from Harry again. "Why did they have to take my parents away from me when there are a lot of kids out there? Why did it have to be me?" His fingers moved quickly along the stuffed wolf's fur. "Harry, it's hard to see James. It's hard to go to the park without feeling angry. It's unfair that they get to hold their parents' hands when I don't even get to see mine!"
Harry knew the feeling. He had never told Teddy that he was in the same situation that he is right now. Before he does, he knew he had to make Teddy understand that life isn't always in his side, but it seemed to him that the poor seven-year-old's heart had been harboring so much bitterness in his heart; he just hadn't showed it until now. It pained him to see Teddy's face. He knew he had the same exact look when he was about Teddy's age.
"I know I won't understand exactly what you're feeling right now," said Harry, "but I do hope you know that you're living a life far more luckier than others. Ginny and I will always be here for you if you need us. We won't go anywhere. I've helped raise you all these years. Since you were born, I never treated you as a guest. When you gave me good behavior, I took you to see Quidditch. When you gave me ill behavior, I disciplined you. If I hadn't treated you as a son, I wouldn't have loved you like I always do. I know you'll get to see your parents someday, but while you're here, you're surely not alone. That's why your father made me your godfather."
Teddy leaned back on the couch. "You're still not my father and I'm still not your son," he insisted.
Harry sighed. "I can never replace your father. I know I am far different from him and I know that you're far different from being my son." Harry could see Teddy frown at that line. He sat beside Teddy. "Sit up," he whispered. Teddy did as he was told. Harry smiled. Sirius had given him this talk when he was thirteen. Harry placed a hand on Teddy's chest. "But in here, you'll feel it. Your mother and father lives in you. We're just living it out right now until it is time when you will see them."
"I will?" asked Teddy hopefully.
Harry nodded. "You will," he assured the boy. Harry could see Teddy's face ease a bit. He had stopped crying now. Harry smiled and stood up. "Now let's see to that sandwich we were making. Ginny's going to come down soon. James would be asleep. As soon as she does, why not we go outside and practice riding on the broom?" he suggested.
A smile crept through Teddy's face as he nodded. Harry went on to make sandwiches for the both of them. Teddy clutched his stuffed wolf. He'll never understand what it's like to be me. I'm an orphan. No matter what he says, I will always be alone. I know Mum and Dad will always be a part of me. Even Grandma says that. But I'll always be alone. Harry would never understand this feeling.
Harry came up with two sandwiches. He handed one to Teddy who ate it very fast. Ginny came down and sure enough, James had fallen asleep, much to Teddy's delight. Before they knew it, Harry and Teddy were out in the yard practicing how to ride a broom. Harry showed Teddy some tips.
"Need anything cool, you two?" asked Ginny from the door. Teddy wiped his forehead and nodded. Ginny disappeared into the house and came back out with two glasses of pumpkin juice. She handed the two of them a glass. Ginny rubbed the dirt of Teddy's nose. "Stay still, Teddy. There's dirt on your nose," she said.
Teddy tried to push her off. "I'm a big boy now, remember? I can wipe my own nose," he said. Ginny smiled and let him go. Teddy wiped his nose with his free hand, causing it to be dirtier than before. "See?" said Teddy, now smiling back.
Ginny laughed. "Oh I see," she replied and continued to wipe Teddy's nose. Teddy didn't struggle now and let her do it. Ginny gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't tire yourself out too much," she said. She also gave Harry a quick peck before entering the house again.
"Time to take a nap," announced Harry. Teddy flashed a look at him. He hadn't taken naps in two years. "Yes, Ted. I'm sleepy too," said Harry as he yawned. He thumped Teddy's back as they headed to the broom shed to place the brooms back. "Now let's go upstairs and have a quick shut-eye. It will be a quick one, I promise."
Teddy agreed. He could not resist since he also felt tired after practice. He and Harry went to the master's bedroom and side by side, they began to sleep.
"Teddy, wake up. It's time for dinner," said Harry softly after waking up from his nap. He didn't realize that they hadn't been taking a nap after all. They had slept through the whole afternoon, in fact. Harry shook Teddy. "Ted, it's time to get up now."
Teddy rolled over to his side. "It's too early, Daddy," he whispered. Harry raised an eyebrow. He softly stroked Teddy's green hair. "Mummy said I can sleep in tonight. I don't have chores to do. I can go to Harry's place later, can't I, Daddy?" he said.
Harry smiled a bit. "Yes you may," he whispered.
Teddy rolled over again, now flat on his back. "Daddy, will you take me to the ark today? I want to show you to my friends. I can tell them I have a Daddy now." To Harry's surprise, Tears sprung from Teddy's eyes. "Don't leave me again, okay Daddy? Harry's going to have another kid soon, isn't he? I can see Ginny's tummy growing again. You're not going to leave me, are you Daddy?" Teddy murmured in his sleep.
Harry wiped away the tears from Teddy's eyes. "No, Daddy's not going to leave you," he assured Teddy. Teddy then grabbed Harry's arm. Harry could feel it tremble. "What's wrong, Teddy?" he asked gently so not so startle the boy if he waked up.
"Daddy, be there when I wake up," Teddy said. Harry's heart sank. He knew he shouldn't have played along with Teddy like this. Teddy gripped Harry's arm even tighter. "I don't want to be left alone. People keep leaving me. Promise me you won't leave me, Daddy."
Harry slowly tucked his hand behind Teddy's head. "No, your Daddy's never going to leave you," he said in a low voice. "Daddy's always going to be with you, wherever you go. Daddy's never going to ever give you away. Daddy loves you more than you'll ever know. Daddy will never leave your side." Harry could feel his own emotions flow out his mouth as he said those words. Teddy had always been more than a godson to Harry. "Daddy will always be here."
Fifteen-year-old Teddy Lupin waved. "I'll be seeing you at Christmas," he said to Harry. Harry nodded. He helped Teddy load his trunk onto the Hogwarts Express. Teddy looked at Harry for a moment. "I can't wait till Christmas," he said.
Harry laughed. "You do say that every year," he said. He gave Teddy a thump on the back. "I can't wait either," he admitted. "Write to me from time to time, all right? I know dating's your top priority right now, but it won't hurt to send me an owl or two once a month," he said.
Teddy smiled. "Dating's not my life, Harry," he pointed out. "I've got a good compartment this year, since I've been made prefect," he said to Harry. Harry nodded, beaming at Teddy. Teddy hadn't told him about being prefect until that day itself. Teddy meant it to be a surprise, though it didn't surprise Harry much. Like they say, like father, like son.
"Well," said Harry, "take care then."
Teddy nodded. He was about to completely get into the car when he stopped and turned to Harry. "I just wanted to say," he started. Harry's emerald green eyes sparkled before him. "Eight years ago when I was sleeping, I wasn't dreaming about my dad." Harry raised his eyebrows. Teddy smiled. He climbed into the Hogwarts Express. "See you this Christmas, Harry!" he said as the Hogwarts Expressed pushed on.
Harry walked away from King's Cross, imagining the moment when he held a little boy's head in his hand as the child dreamt about a father he had come to know.
A/N: What do you think? It's one shot. Please review, thanks.