Sanzo, entry 14

Last night, I had a strange experience. When Goku came into my room, I gladly allowed him into my bed. He snuggled close and then…


Shit how do I explain this? Maybe simply that Goku let himself explore and I did the same…one thing led to another and then…. Well…. Heh

Gojyo walked in on us.

I would never have been able to look him in the eye again, if it wasn't for the fact that I walked in on him and Hakkai… Now I feel like gouging out my eyes.

Goku, entry 14

Why were Sanzo and Gojyo looking so uncomfortable this morning? Hakkai was awfully quiet too. Did it have something to do with when Sanzo screamed the other day? When I asked him why he screamed he went real pale, then he turned green and ran to the bathroom.

When he came back, he wouldn't talk to it.

Hakkai was really quiet too. "I'm bored." I lay my head on Sanzo's lap and his arms went around my waist. I thought back to last night and remembered how his hands felt on me. I wanted to do that again, but I had the sense to wait until Sanzo and I were alone. 'sides, my ass was hurting. I snuggled more into his arms.

Sanzo, entry 15

I could feel Goku move against me. It was strange to think that just over a week ago, I would've shot him, or at least at him. Now I feel incomplete without him close.

Damn it! I've turned into a softie!

My arms went around him automatically. "I'm bored." He said aloud. I smiled at that.

The sun was setting and the next village was on the horizon. I looked around at the greenery that surrounded us. After months of travelling in the desert, fields were a welcome change.

The sky was now orange and the light reflected off Goku's eyes, making them sparkly.

….Did I just write sparkly? Shit, I really have turned into a softie!

The man in my arms twisted to look at me. "Sanzo, I'm hungry."

"We'll get something in the net town." I usually didn't give into his demands so easily, but the look in his eyes made me want to melt into a puddle. Fuck!

Goku is a bad influence on me….

Goku, entry 15

Sanzo's being really mean to me. What did I do wrong? Why is he being like this? Would've asked Hakkai for some advise, but it was raining and I didn't want to bother him. Instead, I sat out in the rain, letting it wash away all my worries. It felt great, llike it was all gone and everything was right in the world. I don't know how Sanzo and Hakkai can hate the rain, I love it.

I sat ther for a couple of hours until Sanzo found me.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked me. I didn't look at him, I barely even heard him. I kind of half realized he was there.

His hand on my shoulder broke me out of my trance. At some point he had knelt in front of me. It must have been some time ago because he was soaked. That's something I never thought I'd see, Sanzo was knelt in mood, he was covered in the stuff. I giggled slightly.


"Sanzo, you're full of mud." For some reason I found this hilarious. Sanzo puti his hand on my head and I stopped laughing at his contact.

"Shit! You're burning up!" I laughed again.

"But you don't really care." I said. I still don't know why I said the things I did, but they didn't help the situation.

"Why would you think that?" I saw the hurt in his eyes.

"'coz. You've been really mean to me all day, you've been acting like you don't care. Every time I touched you, you moved away." I started to cry.

He gathered me up into his arms and took me inside. He didn't say anything as he put me on our bed. He was silent when he left the room. He was still dead quiet when he returned with Hakkai.

Hakkai took my temperature and did his glowing Kii thing. I felt warmer after he did that, but I knew I was still ill. Hakkai covered me with blankets.

"Why were you out in the rain Goku?" He asked me.

I giggled. "It felt good. Felt like everything was running off me." For some reason that made sense to Hakkai. He nodded, then turned to Sanzo.

"Get him out of those wet clothes and into something warm." Silently, Sanzo nodded. Hakkai left the room, and I felt myself fall unconsciousness.

The last thing I remember before everything went dark, was Sanzo removing my shirt.

Sanzo, entry 16

Shit. Fuck. Fucking shit! He's sick, and it's all my fucking fault. I am sitting beside his bed. He's been out for three days. I'm getting worried.

Sanzo, entry 17

He's still out. And Hakkai's been reading my diary. And the bastard corrected all my spelling…

The monkey's waking up.

Goku, entry 16

Ugh, I feel like shit. What the hell happened? Ah. The rain. When I woke up, a day ago, Sanzo was sat by my bed. He was writing in his book and his mumbling woke me. That, and my empty stomach.

"Sanzo." He looked at me and put the book down.

"What is it saru?" He was angry. I gulped. Then stammered,

""I'm hungry." To my relief he smiled. The smiled wavered and for only the second time since I met him, I witnessed Sanzo crying. I remember my exact thought at the time.

'Holy shit, Sanzo's crying!'

Tears fell from his eyes as he looked at me.

"Goku, I'm sorry!"

"Huh, Sanzo? Why-"

"It's my fault you're sick! My fault you sat in the rain, my fault!"\

"What the fuck!?" Sanzo's never like this. He shouldn't be crying, he shouldn't be blaming himself. Did I really matter that much to him? But… he hated me… right?

"You went out into the rain because I was being an idiot. I'm sorry."

I smiled reassuringly at him. "Sanzo." He looked at me. "Aishiteru." Last time I said that, he sent me away. I held my breath waiting for him to do it again. But he didn't.

Instead, he smiled at me.

"And I, you." With that, he kissed me.

That is what I wanted it to belike. Here's what it really was;

"What is it saru?" His voice was angry. I gulped, then stammered:

"I'm hungry"

He hit me with his paper fan. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Do you know what you put me through!?" He hit me again.


"No! You listen to me! Don't you ever do that again!" His voice was dead quiet, deep and menacing. I tried desperately to blink my tears away. "If you died, we couldn't play mahjong!"

"So you really don't care about me." I couldn't stop the tears this time. It was like my entire world had just collapsed. He hit me again.

"Baka! Of course I care! That's why I don't want you to die!" He sat down next to me. I rubbed my head. "Just promise me that you won't die because of your own stupidity!"

I grinned. "I'll do my best."

Goku, entry 17

Sanzo left the room for a few hours due to Hakkai ordering him to get some rest. He tried to climb in my bed, and I would have let him, but Hakkai forced him to sleep in another room. Now I'm bored. Hakkai said that I have to stay in bed for at least two days/ And I'm not allowed to eat anything for another hour! I'm so hungry and bored.

Goku, entry 18

Sanzo didn't want to leave my room today. It was quite funny to watch Hakkai literally drag him out by his ear. I canget up soon. I'm so hungry and I'm bored.

Sanzo, entry 18

Goku was getting better. He asked me for food, so he must be getting better… right? I want to leave this god forsaken town.

Goku had better get off his cute ass and get well or by god I'll murder him.

Goku, entry 19

Yee-hee! We're outta hear ! That was my attitude three hours ago when we left the inn and got into Jeep. I was bored, and hungry. Ah well. I looked out into the distance and groaned. Up ahead was Lirin. If she touches my Sanzo, I'll kill her. Hakkai let Jeep roll to a stop.

"Heyaaa!" Lirin called. "Can we play?"

"Go away." I said. "There's no food here." She pouted.

"I just want to play!" She jumped onto Sanzo's shoulders and I growled.

"What about you baldy?" She asked the blonde man.

"Get off. " He growled throwing her off his shoulders. She landed on the ground with a 'thud'


"We don't want to play today Lirin." Hakkai told the girl gently.

"Or any other day." Sanzo added. Lirin turned to me

"What about you, monkey?" She grabbed my handd. She froze and dropped my hand when Sanzo put his gun to her orange hair. I grinned at him.

"He's mine. Get your own Monkey."

This made Lirin frown. "Whadda ya mean 'he's yours'?" She took my hand again.

"Get your hands off my boyfriend!" He told her in a quiet, menacing voice.

"Ok!" She said happily. "I' gonna go now. You have fun! I gotta tell Kougaiki!" With that, she ran away.

That's when I realised… Sanzo called me his boyfriend! That may seem like something normal, but for Sanzo, he'd rather gouge out his own eyes than admit something like that to the enemy, especially if it was not true.

Sanzo, entry 19

I just told the enemy about my relationship with Goku… that was a stupid move. Damn my possessiveness.

As soon as that bitch touched my Goku, I felt intense anger. When she touched his hand, I had to do something. I did the first thing that came into my head. I pointed my gun at her. I was Goku grin at me in thanks. When she touched his hand a second time, I got even more mad.

"Get your hands off my boyfriend!" I kept my voice low. She dropped Goku's hand and left, promising to tell Kougaiji.


And now Goku is looking at me differently. Dare I say/write it, more lovingly. This is going to kill me.

Fuck, I think I'm in love.