Everyone Else is Doing IT
(part 14)

Naruto and Sasuke bond unconventionally over XXX Yaoi fanfiction. Neji turns out to have an interesting talent or two. Gaara is Gaara. Psychotic and unpredictable, with a penchant for black.

-XXX smut warning this chapter-

A/N 2016: As stated in part1, fixing the formatting which FF made all jacked up.

Part 14: Up To No Good

Naruto woke slowly, feeling better than he had in a long time. The air was cool against his nose and cheeks and he burrowed into the warm blankets with a contented sigh.

Despite his attempts to reclaim entry into the dream he'd just been having, he realized he was becoming incrementally more alert. With this, he also noticed he was completely entwined with his bedmate.

With Sasuke…Naruto had butterflies and a sudden moment of panic, his heart pounding in his throat. He stared up at the dark haired boy's sleeping face... his annoyingly perfect, beautiful face. He still wasn't convinced that it was real, that they'd patched things up somewhat. Sasuke's eyelids fluttered briefly, his long lashes casting shadows on his porcelain cheeks. How was it even possible that he could be interested in someone like me? Naruto thought. 'Course, maybe I'm the only one that will put up with his crap. He snorted in amusement.

Sasuke stirred, and blinked heavy-lidded onyx eyes.

"Was'so funny…?"

Naruto shook his head and smiled cheekily.

"Pfft. Dobe," the dark-haired boy muttered groggily, pulling the sheets with him as he turned onto his side.

Naruto stared at his back and smiled wider, thinking that sleepy-disgruntled-Sasuke was almost more adorable than blushing-embarrassed-Sasuke. He ignored the urge to cuddle him, knowing he'd be starting an epic battle by doing so. Still, he was feeling mischievous, and the thought of tormenting Sasuke was soooo tempting.

"Don't even think about it," Sasuke said over his shoulder. "I can tell you're up to no good."

"I'm always up to no good."

Naruto wondered if Sasuke was really serious about him, or if he was confusing love and hormones. This wasn't a knock on Sasuke's intelligence, by any means… it's just that stuff like this was very confusing and Sasuke had never shown interest in anyone before. This situation was completely unprecedented. Still… Sasuke would never have said something as embarrassing as 'I love you', if he hadn't been sure he meant it.

The early morning light was faint. The room was still predominantly dark, but had the soft, cool, ambient illumination that precedes the rising sun by over an hour.

Naruto wasn't a morning person, not by a long shot; but just today, there was a feeling of expectation in the air, of possibility.

Naruto shifted over onto his side, spooning Sasuke and pulling him close. He felt a tremor run through the dark haired boy. Encouraged, he felt his pulse pick up unsteadily. Was he really going to do this? Right now? Was he really going to go for broke and try to seduce his best friend/rival/love interest?

He felt a thrill of anxiety and excitement, as he decided yes... Yes, he was.

He nuzzled the smooth column of Sasuke's neck, feeling a flurry of butterflies charging through his stomach, and let one of his hands explore the other boy's chest. He tried not to think, or to worry about rejection and other entirely possible things that he hoped would not happen. He turned off his brain and let himself be governed by instinct alone.

There… just now… a hitched breath.

And another, as his fingertips skimmed over a nipple.

Naruto rolled it with in lazy circles with the pad of his thumb, feeling Sasuke's body tense and shake. He lipped the outer edge of the other boy's ear, eliciting a gasp as he bit the lobe. Sasuke smelled so good. He wanted to taste him, and to revel in the pure essence of this boy he had come to want so desperately.

Naruto breathed him in, feeling as if his head was going to float off his shoulders. That scent… that delicious scent… His lips returned to the boy's throat. He sucked on delicate flesh, just above a jumping pulse.

He felt his head spin as Sasuke made a faint noise - almost a whimper.

Sasuke's reactions, reactions to him were heady. Proud, restrained Uchiha, coming undone right before his eyes…

He slipped a leg over Sasuke's, hooking it and drawing it apart from the other as he rolled Sasuke on his back.

He wanted this.

Sasuke was biting his lip, and his chest rose and fell with accelerated breathing. His dark eyes met Naruto's, guarded, but swimming with restrained lust. Deep as the night sky, with flecks of stars, burning fever bright.

Naruto swallowed, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Out of his league, was all he could think, his heart beating so hard and fast that his chest felt numb. This boy was out of his league. Surely any minute now, Sasuke would laugh at him for ever daring to hope that they could be together. The fool and the genius. Beauty and the beast. The exalted Uchiha and the cursed Uzumaki. You can laugh now, Sasuke, I can take it, he thought at him while also thinking, frantically, No, I can't.

But Sasuke did nothing but meet his eyes.

He did nothing but lure Naruto in with his penetrating gaze. Like the seductive dance of the cobra, his eyes did things that made Naruto unaware of anything else. They pulled at things low in his body, as if they held the key to his very being.

Naruto felt himself falling towards them, hypnotic pools of darkness, wells of desire, fueled by the need they were sparking to life in every fiber of his being. His lips met Sasuke's and he melted-sank into the hot link of their mouths.

Naruto caressed the curve of Sasuke's hip, running his thumb down, down, dragging the waistband of the pants with him.

Sasuke made a noise in the back of his throat, his body tensing as the blond's hand flirted with taking this further. His dark eyes closed. He wanted it. God, he wanted it. The muscles in his stomach jumped as Naruto's fingers brushed over them. His body was shaking with the need to be touched. But he wasn't going to ask for it; he had to know he wasn't pushing things and the only way to do that was to let Naruto have control. Oh, it was hard. Sasuke never knew that giving someone else control could be this difficult… or this erotic.

Naruto watched the play of emotions on his friend's face, marveling at the sheer feeling of power he got from being able to have this effect on him. He slid his hand across Sasuke's stomach and down, palming the other boy's need and massaging him experimentally.

Sasuke cried out, making the growing ache in Naruto's belly flare suddenly in response. God… to feel like this… and he hasn't even touched me yet. How could this feel so hot, just hearing him sound like that? Naruto increased the pressure, stroking more firmly. Sasuke was biting his lip, trying to keep silent, damp black hair framing his flushed face. He was gorgeous.

I want to… Naruto thought at him as he licked at a dusky nipple. I want to, with you…

He didn't know how to ask and words seemed taboo here. They were navigating on nothing but sight and touch.

Naruto pulled Sasuke's pants down off his hips, past his thighs and the dark haired boy kicked them the rest of the way off.

Sasuke hooked a hand in the waistband of Naruto's boxers, pulling them down an inch or so then stopped, pausing in query. He had to remind himself that he was letting Naruto lead. That what he wanted, which involved no clothing and lots of full-body contact, came second to what Naruto wanted.

Naruto kissed him deeply in response and shimmied out of the unwanted clothing with Sasuke's help, his heart beating a frantic tattoo as he thought of what they were about to do. He hovered over his friend, feeling both shy and unbearably turned on. Then, Sasuke's arms were wrapping around him and pulling him down.

Nails tracked down Naruto's back, leaving a stinging trail that melted into intense pleasure as they made their way over his backside and suddenly squeezed, pulling their hips into close contact.

Sasuke's grip on Naruto's ass tightened demandingly and he rolled his hips upward.

Oh god, oh god, oh god… Naruto thought as the pleasure happily short circuited his brain.

They were both achingly hard and the friction borne between them was maddening/ delicious/unbearable. They both gasped out as they moved, not even aware of doing so.

Sasuke, I want to… Naruto thought hazily, as the pressure within him continued to build. Inside you…

But there was something they needed for that. Naruto rallied his last two coherent brain cells and looked over in the near dark at the nightstand beside the bed, looking for something most guys had on hand in some form or another, his eyes alighting on an innocuous bottle of lotion that was about to become the most indispensable item in the world. He reached for it, biting his lip again as Sasuke used that moment to suck and bite at his neck. He shuddered. Oh god. I'll never make it, he thought as his fingers reached the small bottle. He was going to lose it right here.

Sasuke watched Naruto with lust glazed eyes as the blond reached to attain his immediate goal. He knew what his soon-to-be lover was planning to do with it, but wasn't sure how he felt about it. He'd never seen himself as the uke. But then, Naruto probably had the same thought himself.

Why was he even thinking of this right now? More than anything, Sasuke wanted to soothe this desperate, insane, pulsing ACHE that was taking over his entire being. Top or bottom, it really shouldn't matter… But, he couldn't quite subdue his need to compete with the blond.

Sasuke leaned upward, tilting his face into the hollow between Naruto's neck and shoulder. He ravaged the blond's slightly salty flesh, teasing, licking, biting, anything to drive the other boy completely mindless with desire.

Naruto moaned, collapsing on top of him as Sasuke's hands joined in the fray, eclipsing all his thought processes with 'ohmygodyes'.

Sasuke smirked and rolled them over so he was on top. He grabbed Naruto's wrists in one hand, pinning them to the bed above his head. He ground into the other boy's hips noticing with amusement how the blond's limp hand barely held onto the bottle of lotion. I win, Dobe, he thought smugly.

He started to lift the bottle from Naruto's hand when tanned fingers tightened their grip and two fierce, blue, lust-crazed eyes opened, surveying him through tiny slits.

Naruto smiled in a way that made Sasuke's very toes curl, wrapped his legs around the dark haired boy and rolled them over with a twist of his body so that Sasuke was once more pinned beneath him.

Submit! Naruto's eyes demanded as the two of them faced off.

Sasuke's arms were now pinned beneath Naruto's and he found that he couldn't really move. As he tested the strength of his imprisonment, something flared in Naruto's eyes. Sasuke's breath caught at the possessiveness and challenge in that darkened blue gaze; he shuddered as a debilitating surge of electric energy raced up his spine and through his flesh.

Naruto chose that moment to mark Sasuke's neck with his teeth, dragging a choked moan from the boy's throat as he also circled heated flesh with the palm of his hand.

Yes, Sasuke, Naruto thought as his hand moved. Feel me… want me…

He stared deep into hooded onyx eyes, loving every moan he was able to wring from the stoic boy's lips.

When Sasuke was panting and completely breathless, Naruto opened the lotion and squeezed some into his hand. He made sure to distract the other boy with teasing kisses and fleeting touches while he applied the lotion. His lips ghosted Sasuke's and he flicked the kiss-bruised lower lip with the tip of his tongue, pulling back the second Sasuke started to respond. When Sasuke caught on to this, Naruto would change tactics, boldly slipping his tongue past lips set with frustration, kissing him long and deep. Then he would go back to the butterfly kisses that were surely driving Sasuke insane.

When he was finished he tossed the bottle aside and stroked Sasuke's length with one lotion slicked hand, and stretched him with the other, until Sasuke's back arched as he desperately sought relief.

Sasuke's brain malfunctioned and all he could think was hot/slippery/ahhhhhhh yes!

Naruto gripped Sasuke's hips, forcing him to stillness, then pressed against his entrance, meeting with tight/hot resistance as he pushed inside and was swallowed inch by inch by inch. Sasuke's nails, deeply imbedded into his back, were the only indication of his discomfort.

Naruto pulled out slowly and pushed back in, dizzy from the constriction of the smooth walls that hugged him so snugly. His breath was coming in ragged gasps now, his hands shaking as he moved to touch Sasuke – to grip his heartbeat, incased in iron hard flesh. Too, too much. The feel of Sasuke surrounding him… fighting him… swallowing him… It was almost painful, yet he couldn't stop.

Sasuke gasped as Naruto shifted position slightly, changing his angle so each time he drove forward he was brushing against his prostate. Naruto knew when he hit the spot because he could feel Sasuke's pleasure as it rippled through his body. He thrust forward again, and again, stroking his lover firmly in tandem. The undulating friction that met his thrusts was driving him crazy, sharpening his need to a knife-point.

Sasuke tensed beneath him, his body tightening unbelievably as Naruto struck home again and again, harder, faster, deeper. Then the nails in Naruto's back dug deep, possibly drawing blood as Sasuke's back arched like a bow and he shuddered in release.

The barely uttered sound that left his lips did Naruto in. He cried out as he was overwhelmed by sensation, orgasm racing through him like wildfire, burning up every cell in his body until he collapsed heavily, boneless and mindless, next to Sasuke.

"Wow," Naruto said faintly after several minutes had passed, his mind feeling like a blown out speaker. "Why did it take us so long to get to this?"

"I think the answer to that is stalkers, stupidity, insecurities, and bad timing," Sasuke said drowsily. "Not necessarily in that order."

Naruto propped himself up on an elbow and looked at Sasuke blandly. "Whatcha tryin' to say, Uchiha? Calling me stupid again?" The corner of his mouth was quirking up as he failed to keep a straight face.

"Of course not….Dobe," Sasuke needled him, amusement shining in his dark eyes.

Naruto grinned and flopped back down upon the dark haired boy. "Jerk." He threw an arm around him and molded against his side as he closed his eyes. "Now I'm all tired again, and we just woke up."

Sasuke snorted and brought his arm around to hold the blond.

It was so peaceful like this: the sun slowly brightening the room, taking the edge off the chill air; Naruto's messy blond hair, soft against his chest... It still amazed him that he and Naruto fit together like puzzle pieces.

"I missed you, Sasuke," Naruto said, his mood turning pensive. "Even when we were fighting…"

Sasuke ran a hand through Naruto's hair, then tilted his sunshine-blond head and pressed a kiss to it. "I thought about you all the time."

"Really?" Naruto sounded surprised.

Sasuke smiled wryly. "Yeah. I was certain I'd lost you to Neji."

Naruto hugged him close, and petulantly said, "I'd thought about it."

Sasuke stopped breathing. His brain was sluggishly trying to wrap itself around the statement, even as he felt the threadings of panic begin to infuse his system. "You did?" he finally managed to ask.

Naruto laughed. Amused… but there was an edge to it. Azure eyes turned up to meet his. They looked so serious. "I've liked you for a long time now, Sasuke… and just recently, I started to give up."

Sasuke swallowed the lump in his throat. Coffee. Alcohol. I need something if this is whole thing is really going south. Could it go wrong this quickly? They'd only been together for all of an hour. Shouldn't new relationships have some sort of immunity against issues, at least for the first day? He started to sit up, mind whirling on the focused need for caffeine or liquor, whichever he came upon first.

Naruto held him down, determined to make him listen. "To be honest, I like Neji."

Oh, I can't take this, inner Sasuke wailed in defeat. Damn you Hyuuga! As soon as I get out of this bed I'm going to kick your -

"But even with you being such an ass," Naruto continued, "I just couldn't give up on you."

Sasuke blinked.

Naruto's head rested back against his chest. "It's so crazy, it must be love."

Sasuke blinked again. Love? Love was good. 'Love' trumped 'like'. So that meant he wasn't losing to Hyuuga . But still…

Sasuke looked down at Naruto's blond head and serene face. "I'm not sure whether that was supposed to make me feel good or worried."

"Neither. You're supposed to feel overwhelming gratitude that we're together, and repent your bastardly ways. Ow-" Naruto broke off as Sasuke cuffed him in the head.

"Why do I even bother taking you seriously?" Sasuke tried to scowl but ended up laughing despite himself as relief coursed through him. Oh, thank god. Crisis averted. "You had me going for a minute there."

Naruto grinned. "I couldn't resist - you were listening so intently."


I love you too, but you're going to pay for that one, Dobe…

Just as soon as we get some more sleep…

Naruto intertwined himself with Sasuke once more, snickering to himself as he felt him sleepily plotting payback.

Well, it had to be said, one way or another. Sasuke had to be more aware of his actions and how they affected other people, namely himself. And that caring about someone wasn't enough – you had to treat them decently too. Also, he wanted his friend to know how utterly amazing it was that they were here now, like this. But Sasuke knew that. It was written all over his face. Naruto smiled. His limbs felt heavy now, and he had the sensation that he was melting into Sasuke where their bodies overlapped. It was a strange thought, but a good feeling. His eyes slid closed and he began to drift off again, lulled by the sweet sound of his love's breathing.

"Sasuke…Naruto… Your love is so pure and true!" Lee said emotionally, breaking the tranquility of the moment. Two startled pairs of eyes flew open to see him stride more fully into the room, a wistful look on his face.

Naruto bolted into an upright position and pantomimed frantically 'WTF, Sasuke?' while Lee struck a pose.

Sasuke shrugged emphatically, looking stricken.

"It made me realize something," Lee continued. He didn't seem to notice their eyes bulging out of their sockets, their predominantly reddened complexions, or the fact that they were in bed, naked together. "All this time… Guy-sensei is the only one for me."

Sasuke started coughing violently.

The shock of being walked in on, followed by THAT declaration of love was just too much input. His brain started to misfire, telling his body that breathing while swallowing was an excellent idea.

"What about Sakura?" Naruto asked while thumping Sasuke on the back. He was desperately trying to distract himself from the painful awkwardness of this situation and the brain crushing horror of Lee's admission (that he SO did not want to picture) by doing what he did best: talking.

"Sakura was nothing but a mirage," Lee said dramatically. "I too will swear off women, my friends, for they are nothing but heartache!"

Sasuke recovered enough to ask, "Lee, haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

"Boots? Yes." Lee's eyes shone with a faraway look. "It is something I've long dreamed of, but have never had the fortune of experiencing for myself, despite my obvious appeal."

Lee dropped and did 10 pushups in the blink of an eye, then leapt to his feet and thumped his chest just over his heart. "This body of pure majesty was meant for none other than my greatest mentor! How could I have been so blind until now? This hair… these clothes… I emulate him out of love! How could I not see it before? I truly would have been ashamed and heartbroken had I wasted myself on someone else."

"Er…Lee?" Naruto said, still groggy from sleep and disturbed at the thought of the two green spandex-clad ninja in luuurve. "Does Guy-sensei know how you feel?"

"Of course, he –" Lee stopped. "Well, that is to say – " Lee stopped again, looking perplexed. "Surely he would echo such depth of feeling…"

Naruto felt bad. He really did. "Just because it's strong, doesn't mean it's – " Reciprocated, he was going to say, but Lee cut him off with a wail of anguish as he fell to his knees.

"OOOhhhh who am I kidding?!" He slumped over and stared sullenly at the floor, looking as if he'd just accidentally kicked his own puppy. "Since when has my luck been that good? Since when has anything been easy for ME? I'm a 'nice' guy. Life likes to scoff at us and kick us in the unmentionables just for fun."

"But… Guy-sensei is a 'nice' guy too," Naruto tried. "Maybe it'll work out."

"Nooo, nooo, I am not worthy of such greatness. If Life is kicking Guy-sensei like that, then his — must be made of STEEL."

Naruto looked at Sasuke helplessly.

This is not what he imagined waking up next to Sasuke would be like. Naked and sexed up? Yes. Naked and sexed up with a hysterical lovelorn-for-Guy-sensei Lee crying on his floor? Not so much. Wait, wait, wait. Now someone's cell phone was ringing. Could it get any better than this?

It could! Naruto's cell phone was the one that was ringing and he had no idea where his boxers were.

Naruto crawled over Sasuke and tugged the sheet with him, so he wouldn't flash the room as he retrieved his phone. Sasuke had to make a grab for the comforter as it was almost whisked off the bed as well.

"Hello?" Naruto said.

"Narutooo! Hey man, what's up?"

Naruto looked around the room and surveyed the chaos. Lee's phone had started ringing. The sodden-faced ninja answered his phone and then said, "Neji… I realized something today…"

"Nothing's up," Naruto told Kiba. "Nothing at all. Except you still have the absolute worst timing ever! How do you even manage it?"

"Haha! It's a talent." Naruto could hear Kiba ginning into the phone. "Listen, I have great news! You're never gonna believe this…"

"Yeah? Try me."

"I'm going out with Hinata, man!"

"You don't say."

"You don't sound surprised…" Kiba sounded disappointed.

"Kiba, let me give you a rundown of my life at the moment. I was being stalked by not one guy, but TWO. One of which is Gaara and, let me tell you, that is not fun times. Sasuke and I are together now, as he confessed his love to me yesterday, and we would be having post-coital bliss at this very moment if it weren't being interrupted by a distraught Lee who has now announced he's in love with Guy-sensei." Naruto took a breath. "I think I'm unfazeable at this point."

"Er… we kissed the other day," Kiba offered, not knowing what else to say. It was a lot to absorb all at once.

"I'll meet up with you later, and you can tell me all about it."

"You ok, man? You're not going crazy or anything are you?"

"I think if I was crazy, this'd all be seeming a hell of a lot funnier."

"True that. Well, if you find yourself on the edge, give me a call. I'll pull you back."

If I got any closer to the edge, I'd be over it. "Thanks, Kiba. I'll catch you later."

Naruto snapped his phone closed and addressed the room. "Who's up for some ramen?"


Full throttle till the end, yeah!

My apologies for there not being more smut… That's just how this cookie crumbled. ;

But the Neji/Naruto fic I've been writing and will post soon (The Hyuuga Swap) and the Gaara/Naruto fic that I'm about to start (no name yet) focus more exclusively on just the boys, so they are more relationship oriented than this fic has been. .

I hope you'll give them a try!


Neji heard Naruto's summation of events over the phone, poor guy. What a way to learn someone is no longer available!

It is likely, that through the warping of reality and time-space, RPing could lead to a relationship between our two loveable stalkers. But it would be a gazillion chapters worth of Gaara having to take down his walls, and Neji being patient and trying not to beat his head into a wall. Heh heh. Or, they could just as easily decide to kill each other when their identities are revealed (or even just pretend the RPing never happened, and that they suddenly do. not. know. each other).

I don't know if Lee and Gai get together, as my brain rebels at pursuing that line of thought.

Thank you for reading! And thank you for as always for reviewing! :3