A/N: This is Ginta's trip to MAR Heaven, from the Gatekeeper Clown's POV. Because that's how its personality is, it refers to Alviss with many derogatory nicknames. No flames for that, please.

Disclaimer: I don't own MAR. I'd like to... TT

Hey. Thanks for letting me out of here. What? Yah, I can talk. You got a problem with that?! Who am I? They call me the Gatekeeper Clown. You've heard of me? Great. So now you're wondering what I'm doing here, right? Well, It's a long story, so have a seat and I'll tell you.

I was having this wonderful dream…I was watching this guy get hit by one pie after another. Dreadful waste of pie, but it was pretty funny… Anyways, suddenly this guy picks me up and sends me to this other world. Now I was pissed. I mean, cone on! He wakes me out of my wonderful nap, and sends me off without as much as a by your leave! Wait! Don't even think that I wasn't up for the job. It's just that I would have appreciated some warning, you know? And a 'please and thank you' or an 'if you don't mind' wouldn't be amiss, either. Lord that kid was bossy. Probably one of those people who just stand there. In the rain. Looking cool. Must be some kind of fad. Whatever. Wait!!! I'm not done yet! Sit down, sit down. Good.

Now, I went, as was proper, and I found a likely kid. I wanted to bring back a kid, just to get him mad. Hee hee. He had a mop of spiky, blond hair. It's a wonder he isn't stuck to the pillows. Well, I made contact, and the kid, who had this piece of delectable food in his hand, dropped it and jumped about a foot in the air. Poor thing probably couldn't see a thing without those glasses thingies.

Well, I had to wait to send him through the gate. If I just took him now, his parents would've freaked. Probably would have went on and on about serial kidnappers. Crazy, the lot of them. Hmm… Now that I think about it, Blondie does look kind of familiar. Reminds me of that other guy. Yah that one. See the hair? Nice goatee, he has. What?! 'Boss'?! What kind of a name is that?! Oh. That's what he wanted to be called. Damn that's cool. Whoa! What?! They're related?! Are you pulling my leg? That's—seriously? What kind of a freak coincidence is that? Yah, yah, I'm getting on with it.

Next day I opened the gate right in the middle of School. At least I think that's what it's called. Kid was having a bad morning, so I decided to poof him out of there pronto. When I popped in, I decided to hit the lights, just to see how many of the little buggers I can scare. The entire class (That is what a group of kiddies are called, right?) was out of there like a shot. They won't forget me in a hurry. Well, everyone 'cept Blondie and this girl. I think he called her 'Koyuki'. Well, it was something like that. Anyways, I just ignored her and rolled my die. Stupid thing rolled a two before falling down a hole. Naturally, I swore. Bad move. Very impressionable, kids are. Ignoring their shocked little faces, I got out my spare die. Thank the Gods I carry extras. This time it landed on one. I could see the girl wanted to go too, but hey. Like I was going to bring a little girly into a war. Naw. She was better off 'pining for her lost love' or something. Anyways, you could tell Blondie was the one to go. His mouth was open is shock. Bet he wouldn't notice until a fly flew in.

Well, since I worked so hard, I decided to indulge myself a little. Nothing that would cause lasting harm, of course. I dropped Blondie off a cloud. Never seen someone fall that fast before. No, that wasn't against any rules. Emo-face (I love that word: Emo. Suits him perfectly, if you ask me.) never said anything about bringing Blondie to him. As far as I was concerned, he can go fetch him, for all that I cared. Don't worry about the kid. He wasn't badly hurt. Sure he might not be able to sit down for a bit, but it's not like he's dead. Anyways, the brat was really mad. For some reason, he took offence to my face. Well excuse me. I was born with this face, thank you very much. Can't stop smiling. It's a curse and a blessing. You know how your mum always tells you not to keep making faces or else your face'll stick that way? Well, listen next time, 'cuz she's not kidding. Your face will stick like that.

When the two met next, there was this HUGE fight. Never thought Blondie there was a scrapper. He's suicidal, all right. Actually, I wasn't paying much attention. Too busy watching the monkey-boy that was with Blondie and the talking…ball thingy. Monkey-boy got turned into a birdie. Now that was funny. He kept squawking and flapping his wings. I laughed so hard my hand fell off. Don't ask me how that happened. It's not my fault. Blame it on the shoddy workmanship. Anyways, here's the best part. Are you ready? Well, he was green. Whoa. Calm down. I know it's funny, but you don't need to laugh that hard. Then he, (Blondie, that is) started to yell about something or other. I wasn't listening. Too busy trying to stick my hand back on.

Now here's the worst part. After the little scrap, he went home and dumped me in this freaking drawer! So now I want you go find him and give him a good kick (censored due to graphic violence). Got it? No? I said, go (censored due to graphic violence). Then take a picture or something. Goodness knows I need a laugh. Hey! Wait! What are you doing?! NOOOO!!! DON'T CLOSE THE—

R&R please! Remember, NO FLAMES!!!