Chapter 19


Sasuke felt the faint curl of exhaustion dulling his senses but he was careful to keep his eyes steady and his expression alert. He didn't know if Naruto would give him a second chance to ask this question and he couldn't risk losing it over sleep. One day of sleep deprivation wasn't going to hurt him. He was already ahead of his classes anyway.

Besides, Naruto actually looked like he was thinking his answer through and that had to mean that whatever he had to say was going to be important. After all, from what Sasuke knew of Naruto he was prone to just letting himself rambling on aimlessly until he said something so stupid you smacked him, or so profound your breath would falter.

Or was that just Sasuke?

"When I first met Itachi he was very…direct." Naruto mused, his mouth cocked cutely to the side as he looked away. "Charming. He made it clear he was interested in me right away and….uh, pursued…me." Naruto made a face at how awkwardly romantic the word seemed. He couldn't quite get himself to look at Sasuke yet, so he couldn't see what the young Uchiha's reaction too it was, but the soft scuff from across the table gave him some indication that Sasuke wasn't impressed.

"I didn't even consider it, at first. I was only at the gallery because Neji and Hinata invited me. I think Neji was hoping it would turn into a date." Naruto smirked a little at the irony. "But I ended up getting separated from them and accosted by your brother instead. He introduced himself, told me he liked my tie, and then shoved me into one of the servant entrances. Then he asked me my name and if I would be interested in dinner. I thought he was joking. Or crazy, considering he had me pinned to a wall surrounded by empty serving carts."

Naruto almost expected Sasuke to laugh, as the story was rather funny, but then again it was his brother and Sasuke didn't look even close to laughing. His dark eyes were chilly and waiting for Naruto to continue. He kept his arms crossed over his chest and was leaning back in his chair with a casual air that seemed fake and made Naruto's chest heave.

"I excused myself, told him I was just there for the art, and hunted down Hinata and Neji so I could leave. Next thing I know Itachi is showing up everywhere. My studio, my showcases, my job sites. Considering he was supposed to be off running a multi-billion dollar company I don't know how he found the time to stalk me."

"Maybe embezzlement isn't very time consuming." Sasuke grumbled. Naruto made a face at him and continued on as if he hadn't spoken.

"He was far too charming, far too attractive, and far too famous. I didn't want anything to do with him. But he was so freaking stubborn. And…" The light-hearted nature of Naruto's story was beginning to drift away the closer he got to the part where he started to love him. "He knew exactly what to say. To everything. Always an answer, always a solution. There wasn't any saying no to Itachi. So eventually…"

"You agreed." Sasuke finished, hurrying him along. "You became his boyfriend."

"Yes." Naruto shoved blond hair away from his eyes and stared across the table at Itachi's little brother. "And I fell in love with him."

"And Itachi?" Sasuke's question confused Naruto. Particularly since he seemed to brush over Naruto's confession of love without any passing interest whatsoever. Maybe Naruto was misunderstanding the situation. But it seemed like, with Sasuke's recent actions, hearing Naruto saying he loved Itachi should have brought on some kind of repulsion. Naruto would settle for a slight gagging noise, perhaps followed by one of those rather demeaning sneers that Sasuke had used so often when he had first come here but rarely ever used now.


"Yes. What about him. What was he like?" Naruto continued to stare at Sasuke without comprehension.

"He…I don't understand. He loved me back….I-I think. He said it a few times. I don't know what you're asking." Naruto squirmed as Sasuke's eyes seemed to focus more, intensifying as they watched him. "What?" Naruto snapped irritably. His temper was more tame than usual, but still present, bubbling irritably at Sasuke's examination.

"Did he act different? Did he treat you different?" Sasuke was leaning forward now, across the table, staring directly into Naruto's eyes. "Was he different with you?"

"I-I don't know." Naruto frowned, trying to come up with a sufficient answer to such unexpected questions. "He was direct. That stayed the same. He always told me exactly what was going on with us. Or so I thought." Naruto added the last part as a grumble under his breath. "He was considerate, we rarely argued. When we did, he always smoothed it over. Like I said, he always had a solution for everything. But…" And was it his imagination, or was Sasuke holding his breath? That couldn't possibly be a tinge of blue on the outside of his lips, right? "…But I guess that was just the way Itachi was. From the moment I met him. He was always in control." And yes, Sasuke did just exhale. The idiot was trying to suffocate himself.

"The same. From the moment you met him." Sasuke whispered. Dark eyes fell closed and Sasuke's mouth quirked up at the corners in a tiny smile. Naruto just stared at him, stunned to silence. If he didn't know any better, he would say Sasuke sounded relieved.

"Y-yes?" Naruto's world view was taking a rather wild loop around and when Sasuke opened his eyes to reveal what could only be described as affection Naruto nearly fainted.

"You didn't change him at all. He wouldn't let you." Naruto just stared. Sasuke's voice was soft and soothing. "Because he never loved you enough. Because he never let himself give you too much."

Naruto knew that should have hurt. That that should have caused that jerking, aching pain that he had become so familiar with since Itachi's disappearance to flare up inside of him and choke his senses. But somehow the simple happiness in Sasuke's voice pinned him to the ground and made him go blissfully numb.

Something very, wonderfully, wrong was going on here.

"Sasuke, whatever you're thinking….we were together. I loved him. We- we slept together-"

"I don't care about that." Sasuke interjected impatiently. "I just needed to know if he and I were the same. But we're not. Because he didn't let you change him." Sasuke stood and moved around the table, coming to kneel down in front of Naruto, looking up at him with stunningly open eyes. Naruto's hands gripped the seat of the chair and his chest was so tight it hurt. "I changed for you." Naruto could probably blame the youth. Sasuke was closed off normally, cold, but he was still young and still had the remnants of teenage-boy volatility. That's why he was talking to Naruto with such earnestness. The stupidity of youth.

But this logic didn't quite reach Naruto's frantic mind and he choked silently on air, cold sweat chilling him all over. Sasuke reached out, burying his fingers into the back of Naruto hair and tugging him downward, bringing their mouths together with surprising harshness. Naruto didn't move, frozen against the roughness and the tingling, burning sensation his breath caused on Naruto's closed lips. When Sasuke pulled away, slowly and without removing his fingers from Naruto's hair, he stayed half-kneeling between Naruto's legs. His eyes were narrow and evaluating, taking in Naruto's response with a stunning amount of patience for someone so young. Which, of course, completely killed Naruto's volatility theory.

It took Naruto's mind a little longer than it should have to catch up with what was going on and when it finally did it seemed impossible for him to develop any kind of understanding, so he settled for simply letting his mind wandering aimlessly from one detail to another. Like how Sasuke was definitely an Uchiha, because the smooth, pale curves of skin and dark, silky hair were dizzyingly familiar. He was definitely Itachi's brother. And yet…There was a rawness in Sasuke Itachi had never possessed. It felt cliché, it felt terribly, sickeningly romantic to think that Sasuke's eyes were different.

That Sasuke had eyes that expressed so much Itachi's never had.

How very sentimental.

Naruto was so taken in by his thoughts, he didn't even realize he'd been staring.

"Do I look like him?" Sasuke murmured, his thumb drawing circles on the back of Naruto's neck. He shuddered at the steady rhythm against his skin.

"No. You look nothing like him." Naruto murmured, voice distant. His mind was still scrambling for something coherent, something that made all of this logical and right.

"Liar." Sasuke's smirk was sad. "We both take after father."

"You are nothing like Itachi." Naruto whispered. Sasuke's eyes softened and he loosened his grip on Naruto's hair, his hand falling to rest on the arm of the chair.

"You should get to bed. You have school tomorrow." Naruto's heart was pounding and he couldn't help but think how ridiculous it was that he could still react this strongly, still feel this helplessly, after so many years. He was still so vulnerable, even after everything. Sasuke's hand pressed against the center of his chest, holding him in place. Naruto's frown bordered on a pout. He was getting sluggishly tired.

"Do you still dream of him?" Sasuke murmured, letting his breath fan across the blond's neck. "You used to call out his name in your sleep, you know." Naruto looked away, his eyes growing a deep blue that Sasuke had come to associate with regret. "What is he doing to you, in those dreams? What is he doing that makes you say his name like that? So soft and….breathy." Sasuke asked softly, brushing his fingers against Naruto's arm. Naruto flushed and jerked away. Their bodies, however, remained perilously close together.

"You're going to be exhausted. You need sleep." Naruto could tell by Sasuke's thoughtful expression that he wasn't listening. His lips were pursed tightly and his eyes stared away, into the distance, contemplating, considering. A shiver tingled up Naruto's spine when he tried to think about where Sasuke's mind was right now. If there was any logic to the world anymore he'd be thinking about how wrong this was, and how Naruto dreaming of his bastard of a brother clearly meant that Naruto was sick and he should have nothing to do with him. Did he know that Naruto wanted him? Did he know Naruto had enjoyed being kissed by him? Naruto shuddered and tried to summon the slick, bile taste of moral illness that he knew he should be feeling right now. Nothing. Nothing but the frustratingly appealing awareness of Sasuke's fingers resting on his arm.

"Naruto…" Sasuke's voice had a new tone in it, rough and hot. Naruto didn't like how it made him flush to hear it."Let me taste you."

And just like that, Naruto's mind caught up.

"What!?!" The young Uchiha could already hear the answer in Naruto's voice, stunned and panicky. So he decided not to wait for an actual answer. He growled, pushing Naruto back until the blond rammed snuggly against the chair and crushing their bodies together, basically straddling him. Sasuke felt a rush of feral excitement at the way their chests locked.

"I couldn't stand it, that time I heard you. The way you said his name, the way you wanted him. He's gone, the bastard, but it doesn't matter because he never belonged here, between us." Sasuke ground his hips down to emphasize the importance of their closeness. Naruto flushed, tearing his eyes away. His hands, still gripping the sides of the chair, were getting slick and shaking. "You say I don't look like him? Prove it. I want to hear you say my name." Before Naruto could comprehend what the dark haired boy meant, Sasuke was back on the ground, on his knees. Naruto's blue eyes widened with shock and he lurched back, causing the chair to rock on its back legs slightly. Sasuke's hands slammed it back into place.

Sasuke pressed his palms into Naruto's thighs, sliding them up the inside curves of Naruto's legs and around to grip his hips. Naruto was nearly panting, his body reacting to the sensations in a way he knew it shouldn't, but was beginning to have trouble remembering why.

"What are you….Hey!" Naruto yelped, as Sasuke's hands gripped the waistline of his loose boxers and began to slide them down his narrow hips. Naruto vaguely wished he slept in pajamas or something that would provide more concealment right about now. "What the hell, Sasuke!" It probably would have sounded more intimidating if he could breathe evenly. "Stop it!"

"No." Sasuke growled back. Naruto's hands gripped his hair, pulling slightly. Sasuke ignored it, pulling Naruto's boxers down, past his knees and then letting them slide to the floor. Cold air brushed against Naruto's skin and he panicked. Sasuke's harsh grip on his thighs kept him from bolting. "Tell me I don't look like him. Tell me it while I suck you off." Naruto let out a shuddered gasp when one of Sasuke's hands slid off his thigh and onto much more sensitive skin. Naruto felt hot and fuzzy, and he was surprised at how hot his face was when all his blood was rushing south….

"T-this is wrong. You don't..ngn…you don't know what you're doing!" Naruto forced out, through gritted teeth. Sasuke had his fingers wrapped around his growing erection, unmoving but firm.

"I'm not a child. I know exactly what I'm doing." Sasuke returned, voice suggestively low. He moved his hand, starting slow. Naruto stared at him, face mixed with confusion, need, and guilt.

"You-you're so young…" Naruto whispered, closing his eyes and doubling over slightly as Sasuke's fingers picked up speed. "A-and...and you're his brotherrr..ngh" Naruto whimpered, and Sasuke squeezed him harshly.

"I don't care about him anymore. He left. You're mine now." Naruto's eyelids flickered, and his mouth opened to reply.

"Sas…Ahh! Mmmmm…." Whatever the blond had been about to say vanished into a collection of raspy moans when Sasuke hand slid to the base and he covered the tip of Naruto's cock with his mouth. Naruto slammed back against the chair, head tilting upwards to expose the long expanse of his neck. His fingers dug into Sasuke's hair. "Nnn…no….S-stop…Ngh!" Sasuke's tongue worked down his length, drawing lines with the tip, then pressing firmly. Naruto shuddered.

"Come on, usuratonkachi." Sasuke growled with mock sweetness, releasing Naruto from his mouth briefly, causing the blond to whimper with loss. "Tell me I don't look like him." Sasuke's mouth was instantly back on him again, this time sucking as his tongue worked. Naruto's hips jutted forward uncontrollably, and the blond felt a roll of self disgust hit him in the gut.

He was thrusting into the mouth of the sixteen year old brother of his ex-boyfriend.

"What's wrong? Having trouble?" Sasuke's voice was taunting, yet needy. It made the most incredible, uncomfortable, intense feelings explode through Naruto's body. The blond bent forward slightly again, blue eyes half closed and staring. Sasuke moaned, and hummed, sending tremors through Naruto's erection.

"S-s……Mmmm…." Naruto moaned with appreciation, feeling himself peaking uncontrollably. His lack of self-restraint was almost embarrassing. Sasuke's hand continued to work at his base as his mouth encouraged his shaft. The blond was close. "I…I can't…Ss…Sas…"

Sasuke arched his tongue, and drew his teeth gently across Naruto's length. The blond's eyes shot open wide, and he gave a gurgled cry. It was all over, so quickly.

"Sasuke!" His voice was hoarse and sharp, and he came hard into Sasuke's mouth. The Uchiha swallowed quickly, before drawing back to release Naruto from his mouth. The blond slid down the chair and onto the floor, beside Sasuke. Sasuke, the bastard, was smirking, hands resting on Naruto's thighs, kneeling between the blonds sprawled legs.

"That sounded much better." Sasuke said breathlessly, pressing his hot forehead against the curve of Naruto's shoulder. "By the way, I think I love you."

Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's back, pulling the younger man against him, burying his nose in damp black hair.

They laid like that for a long time, until both of their hearts stopped pounding, and then they went to bed- their own beds. But not before Naruto kissed Sasuke, the first time Naruto kissed Sasuke, and not before Sasuke smiled in a way that made Naruto feel like maybe he hadn't just done the most fucked up thing possible.

Of course, whether or not he felt that way when he woke up tomorrow was an entirely different story.


Author's notes

So I've set a self-goal to make my next story the best I can possibly make it. Mostly because I've gotten so disappointed in this one (Sorry, sorry!) that it has made me want to improve. So I decided my first step would be intense brainstorming. Usually I skim through that step and figure I'll work it out as I go. No more! I already have six pages of plot notes for my next story and I'm not even done. Hopefully the next time around I'll be able to keep it together!

Anywho, I debated on this chapter for a while. It's a risk I took. Whether or not it worked will probably depend on the next chapter. We'll see.

Besides that, hope everyone is surviving winter (for those of you somewhere warm, shush! I'm miserable enough as it is!)