that was fun.
Don't forget, no regrets, except maybe one
Made a deal, not to feel, God that's dumb
Everybody knows the deal fell through.
I was hoping I could just blame you.
When was it that I became so soft?
This sentimentality doesn't look good on me.
I thought that you would be begging to be with me.
I'm the one on my knees, blubbering,
Please, let me stay.
Deflated and jaded. I hate it when you call
Which isn't at all
I've spoken, though broken.
Here's a token of my love.
"Thanks that was Fun" -Barenaked Ladies
Two Months Later, Sam's room...
Bobby knocked softly on Sam's door. Since Rogue's death Sam had tried his best to go on for Oliver and Rebecca. Although he seemed strong for their sake Bobby knew the guy was dying inside.
Bobby let himself in after he got no answer. The windows were wide open, letting the light from the setting sun shine through. If anyone hadn't seen Sam in the past two months they wouldn't recognize him. The twenty four year old looked old. His dark blond stubble was now a full beard, his blue eyes were now sunken in, and he looked over worked.
Sam was sitting on the bed, hunched over and tightly clutching a small burgundy velvet box in his hand. He always did that. Bobby could only watch as his friend opened the box, sighed, and then shut the box quickly.
"Ah was gonna ask her the night we came back from Mississippi. Ah had everything set and ready." He opened and closed the box again.
"She would have said yes." Bobby rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, he already lost one of his best friends, and he didn't want to lose another one.
"Too late tah know now, huh?" Sam chocked. He opened the box again, he always imagined Rogue and him getting married and maybe moving back South again. They always talked about it. Now he was wishing that they had actually done it.
"It's never gonna go away? Isn't it?" Sam mumbled. Bobby's eyes widened in fear and forced his friend to stand up. After Rogue's death Sam had gone through a major case of denial.
Bobby shook the blond by his shoulder, trying to snap some sense into him. "Hey! We've talked about this, remember?"
Sam only hung his head down in misery.
Bobby gave him a tiny shove towards the door, "Come on, the X-babies are heading off for their first mission."
Remy could feel the tears sting his eyes as he watched his daughter kneel in front of Rogue's tomb stone. Everyday he would watch Rebecca lay white lilies on the ground before talking to Rogue.
He would never forget the look in their faces when he had to explain what happened. How could he forget Rebecca crying? Her eyes, so much like Rogue's eyes, were blood shot for days. For days the young girl locked herself in her room, the times when she would leave her room to use the bathroom or grab something to eat. She looked so hollow and empty during the day of Rogue's funeral service.
"Rachel was like that after Jean died. It like watching them die over and over again. You can't really help them."
Remy turned around to see Scott walking up to him; he leaned against the railing and watched as Rebecca continued to talk to Rogue.
"The first few days after Jean's death…I couldn't talk, couldn't eat, and couldn't sleep. Every night it was the same nightmare, memories of that day that I couldn't forget."
Remy clenched his fists tightly, the blood pounded away towards his head. "How long was it till Emma made you feel better?" Remy asked curtly.
Scott wasn't surprised; he half expected that this would be the reaction from Remy. "It wasn't her, it was never her." He paused, Remy watched as Scott pulled out a gold locket necklace from under his shirt and opened it, revealing a picture of Jean and Scott from when they were younger. Scott had his arm around her waist, while Jean rested her head on his shoulder and her hand against his chest. The picture was beautiful, a picture of pure youth and love.
Remy took the locket and smiled, all he could think of were the younger days of him and Rogue for the past few weeks. Slowly, he handed the locket back to Scott. "Better not let Emma see dat." He smirked, since his staying he had learned the telepathic blond was terribly jealous of anything that had to with Jean Grey.
"About a month after Jean died I had this dream of her on our wedding day." Remy looked down, suddenly the railing looked interesting to him "She was telling me to live. That I shouldn't die with her, that I should learn to live again." Remy pressed his lips together in anguish; he could see Scott's tear drops getting absorbed by the cement rails. Scott looked at the picture again, "It doesn't get better. The memories, whether they are good or bad, never go away. In some ways it's actually a good thing. Gives you something to live for in the end."
Remy only nodded. Both men looked onward toward the cemetery as Rachel pulled a sobbing Rebecca from the graveyard. He patted Remy on the shoulder, "Believe it or not you're actually doing a good job with the kids, Remy. And that's what should be pulling you to live." He cocked his chin towards Rebecca.
"Should be thankful
dat she's talking to me." Remy sniffed. Scott patted him on the
shoulder again, "We should get going. The kids will be leaving
"Scott." Remy called out.
Scott shrugged, "What are brothers for?" he checked his watch, "Be down in five, K?"
The two men had learned how to trust and rely on each other again. At one point during Remy's early days as an X-man the two were best friends. Since then many things had happened to ruin that friendship, but now they had many things that connected them to each other. It was uncomfortable, but slowly the two were learning how to be friends again.
Remy jumped, he hadn't realized that he had zoned out again. He had been doing that more and more now.
He hated it.
"Oui. J'st about." He looked at his son and could feel his pride swell. Oliver was in his official X-man uniform. It was dark blue with two red stripes going horizontally across the shoulder and vertically from shoulder to knee. It had a gold X symbol on the chest and gold elbow and knee pads, along with gold and red boots. The uniform was a far cry from Remy's first X-man uniform. Suddenly magenta looked really good.
Oliver could read his father's face. "Yeah, it's dorky." he pulled on the spandex uniform, letting it loudly snap back into place. "But it's official."
"Anna would be proud." Remy used Rogue's real name, it felt good actually. To know and say something that Rogue held so close to her heart for so long.
"Yeah…I know." Oliver had grown to be quieter and reserve in the past few months. He had taken sanctuary in the danger room, taking his anger and aggression out in the danger room. Needless to say the staff had to keep a lot of extinguishers on hand. He would seldom speak to Logan and Sam about how he was doing. It was only recently that Oliver had gotten around to speaking to Remy.
"Ready for your first mission?"
Oliver frowned, he had been questioning his life as an X-men. He knew what the X-men stood for and why they were needed. But to him the price of being an X-man was too much to pay. Oliver wanted to live his life as long as possible. The mass cemetery in front of him proved that being an X-man meant not only sacrificing your time and your goals, but also your future.
"You'll do alright." Remy comforted him. He tried to hug him, but thought better of it.
"Yeah." Oliver checked his watch. "We should get going now. Other wise Kendall will get pissed."
The young man turned around to see Gambit taking off his trench coat. He tossed it at him.
"For luck and all."
Oliver held the coat high in front of him. The coat had been patched up numerous times. The collar was crooked, the sleeves had a few holes, and the hem was frayed.
"Luck?" Oliver questioned him sarcastically as he put the coat on. It fitted him perfectly and, thankfully, made the uniform look less dorky.
Remy was about to say "I'm still here." but it sounded tactless. Instead he just said "It works fine."
"Merci Gambit." And with that Oliver went down to the jet hanger to join the others.
Remy didn't want to lie; it was a bit hurtful when his only son called him Gambit. But he would work on that with Oliver after they came back from their first mission. He had made plans for Oliver and Rebecca to spend time with him in New Orleans after they came back. Part of him was overly excited, another part of him felt guilty that he didn't have Rogue to share this with him.
He looked over at her tomb stone. There standing in front of it was Rogue in her dark green and white uniform, her cape swaying gently by the wind. His eyes were glued to her as he watched her run her fingers over the top of the stone. Even from a distance he knew she was crying.
"Je suis désolé."
As his tears fell the image of Rogue faded.
"Remy?" Storm attentively called out for him, "You better hurry down before the kids leave." She saw him try to wipe away his tears quickly.
"Yeah, I'm coming."
Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed the story as much as I did.
Hope everyone has a good New Year.