(A/N): For SKF, because I couldn't form a coherent review for Dead Eyed Boy. And because she somehow manages to severely mess with my (obsessive) dedication to AkuRoku almost every single time. And apparently I was in the mood for angst.
Disclaimer: I do not now, nor shall I ever, own these characters.
There's a fine line between love and hate.
Riku can't remember where he heard those words, but he can't get them out of his head. Just eight little words strung together in a sentence that doesn't mean anything to either of them.
Riku doesn't love Roxas.
And Roxas isn't capable of either emotion.
Still, those words won't go away.
Riku feels Roxas stir next to him, and he tangles his fingers in thick blond hair and passes darkness through the Nobody until he lies still again. It's an unnecessary precaution; Roxas hasn't given any indication he's unhappy where he is.
Not that he would.
Riku sighs and rolls onto his side, away from Roxas, rubbing one hand tiredly against his temple. He needs to take Roxas back, needs to bring him to DiZ so that Sora can wake up at long last. It's what Riku's been fighting for all this time.
Instead, he lingers in this half-world with the echo of his best friend, losing himself by bits and pieces, patchwork parts of the person he used to be chipping away and falling into darkness. And it's wrong, it's so wrong that he lets it happen, that empty touches and passionless kisses can hold him here when Sora's waiting for him.
He hates himself sometimes, hates that he's so weak that every time Roxas touches him, kisses him, fucks him he loses a little more of himself, watches another piece break off and shatter into nothing. He's not supposed to be weak. He's not.
Roxas sighs behind him and it's all Riku can do to keep from striking him.
Riku's back arches desperately as he comes, Roxas's name dropping helplessly from his lips. Roxas doesn't say anything; he never does, but his eyes never leave Riku's face. Riku groans and tangles his fingers in the Nobody's hair, and another piece of who he used to be dies.
Roxas never says a word, fever-bright eyes boring into Riku's own.