Part five written by Garfieldodie

Calvin and Hobbes had not heard from the disembodied voice for a few hours, and they were trying in vain to escape from the dark room.

"Well, the transmat beam is out of power," Calvin announced, finally finishing an inspection on the machine. "We can't go back the way we came."

"Great," Hobbes moaned. "This is probably the worst day of my life."

"You say that everyday, Hobbes," Calvin sighed. "Come on. Maybe there's another way out."

As they searched the walls of the room, Calvin noticed something in the corner.

It was a painting of a person playing a harp.

And next to it was a giant harp.

Calvin went to inspect it more closely.

"Hmmm…," he said. "The Harp of Rassilon…"

Hobbes came over.

"Huh. I wouldn't think he'd be musical," he commented.

Calvin absentmindedly struck a cord.


They both whipped around to the painting.

A noise had come from it.

"Hobbes, I think we've found a secret door," said Calvin. "And it's opened by a musical key!"

Calvin struck the same cord a few more times.

"Hmmm, a combination of notes," he said.

"I'm guessing a certain song must open the door," Hobbes said, sitting in the stool to play the harp.

Hobbes slowly began plucking strings, hoping to find the right one.

Back in Rassilon's Tomb, the alter egos were still at work.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman were virtually bored out of their skulls.

"This is just nice," said Andy. "They drag you through rocks and chessboards and caves and phantoms, and then they leave you out when things get interesting!"

Suddenly, they heard the three Calvins gasp.

They were staring at the tablet with wide eyes.

"Whoa…," Stupendous Man said. "This is blowing my mind!"

Spiff simply snorted.

"It doesn't change anything!" he stated firmly.


"No buts! We have to lower the force field around the cardboard box, rescue Calvin and Hobbes, and then we all go home! This doesn't concern us! It mustn't!"

Tracer simply remained neutral while Stupendous Man glared at Spiff.

"What's it say?" Sherman demanded.

"Yeah, how about shedding a little light on our dark minds right now?!" Socrates added.

Tracer turned to the tablet and began to read it.

"This is the Tomb of Rassilon, where Rassilon lays in eternal sleep," he read.

"It also says that anyone who's got this far shows great courage and determination," said Stupendous Man proudly, sticking his chest out.

Everyone rolled their eyes at him.

Then, Stupendous Man frowned.

"What's this bit mean?" he asked, pointing at the bottom of the tablet.

Tracer looked at him.

"To lose is to win, and he wins shall lose," he said.

"I know what it says, but what does it mean?!" Stupendous Man demanded.

"And it also says," said Spiff, who ignored them, "that whoever takes the ring from Rassilon's hand shall gain the gift he seeks!"

"What gift?" Sherman asked.


Socrates stared.

"What to live forever? To never die?" he asked.

"That is what the word means," Spiff said casually.

"But that's impossible!" complained Andy.

"Evidently not," said Tracer.

"You see, Rassilon possesses it now, and is willing to share it with whoever takes the ring," said Stupendous Man.

"Thank you, boys! That's exactly what I needed to know!" a voice said.

Everyone whipped around.

It was Retro!

"I came here to help you," he snarled. "A little unwillingly, but I came! My services were scorned by help refused, and now I shall help myself, my humanself, to immortality!"

Spiff, Tracer and Stupendous Man blocked the way.

"Out of the question, Goal Post Head!" Spiff said.

"You're hardly a suitable candidate," Tracer agreed.

"For anything," Stupendous Man chipped in.

Retro pulled out the Cyberman's laser cannon.

"This is hardly your decision," he said evilly. "Killing Calvin once could never be enough, but to do it three times! Oh, how wonderful!"

Suddenly, Socrates was behind him.

"Ahem!" he said.

Retro whipped around.

"What?!" he demanded.

"Can you render a hardlight hologram unconscious?" Socrates asked.

"Uh…I don't know," said Retro.

"Then let's find out!"

Socrates punched Retro hard in the face, causing him to fall down, unconscious.

Calvin and Hobbes were still plucking harp strings in vain, but so far, no luck had come to them.

Finally, Calvin just ran his fingers down them in frustration.

"Well, if it is a tune, what could it be?!" he demanded. "A tune like… A tune like…"

Then Calvin glanced at the painting of someone playing a harp.

He noticed that there was sheet music in the painting.

Calvin's eyes grew wide.

"A tune like the one that was under our noses all the time!" he said.

Calvin pointed at Hobbes.

Hobbes nodded.

"Okay, let's try it," he said.

Looking at the painting closely, Hobbes began to play the harp according to the musical notes in it.

Soon, this was followed by several clicks from behind the painting.


Suddenly, the wall moved aside.

They were surprised to find a dark laboratory come into view from behind it.

"Whoa…," said Calvin. "For a disembodied voice, he sure has a good income!"

Calvin and Hobbes slowly entered it.

They stared at what they saw in the middle of the room.

"Holy…," said Hobbes.

They had found the table that was all lit up, and they could see the four sections that included all the little figurines of them, their friends, Calvin's alter-egos, and Holographic Retro.

"Hey, cool!" Calvin said. "I'm an action figure!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Now then!" Calvin announced. "We must find out who had done this to us!"

"Look no further!" a familiar voice shouted.

Calvin and Hobbes gasped and whipped around.

There was someone standing above them. He wore sunglasses, had black hair, sharp teeth, dog tags, and a T-shirt with Camp Pine written on it.

"What?!? No! It can't be!" Calvin cried.

"But it is!" Hobbes said nervously.

There, standing above them, was none other than John Howard Chill!

Not Rupert Chill, but John Howard Chill!

Calvin and Hobbes continued to stare.

"But…but how?" Calvin dared to ask.

"I am not John Howard the human," he said dramatically. "I am instead, John Howard, the, as you would put it, extraterrestrial equivalent."

"So…you're not the actual camp counselor?" Hobbes asked.

"No, but I decided to take on his form so you'd be a little more aware of who I am."

John Howard walked around the lab.

"You see, Calvin, the Chill family was very special. Lot's of beings outside of Earth decided to base themselves off of them. The King of Zok, Rupert Chill, was one of those beings."

"Speaking of Rupert, he's not involved in any of this, is he?" Calvin asked.

"Nope. He's unaware of any of this," John Howard replied.

"So, why have you done this?"

John Howard stood at the lit up platform with the little figures on it.

"How much longer do I have, Calvin?" John Howard asked. "How much longer before I must die? My work is only half done in this vast cosmos! I wish to life forever, and one day, rule the entire galaxies!"

"What like immortality?" Hobbes asked.

"But that's impossible!" Calvin objected.

"Rassilon achieved it," John Howard explained. "He lives! He cannot die! He is immortal!"

Calvin and Hobbes backed away as John Howard slowly began to advance.

Andy and Sherman were just finishing tying up Holographic Retro before he woke up.

"Good work, boys," said Spiff. "Now then, Sherman, we need you to turn off the force field that is keeping the box from coming here."

Sherman nodded.

Spiff took him over to the control panel, where Sherman immediately set to work.

After a few seconds, Sherman looked up again.

"Okay, I managed to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow so that the box should be free of the force field," he said.

Stupendous Man nodded.

"Okay, we'll have to call Calvin and Hobbes somehow," he said.

"He has the MTM," said Spiff. "We can call him through that."

Stupendous Man, using his stupendous mind, started to type in numbers through a little computer at a video monitor.

John Howard continued to tower over Calvin and Hobbes.

"Immortal, Calvin," he whispered. "Rassilon decided to leave clues for his successor. The one that he knew would follow him! I have discovered so much in my time in this lab. I've figured out the Mind Scoop and everything!"

"You still haven't figured out the final secret though, have you?" Calvin asked.

"The secret of immortality, my boy?" John Howard asked. "What lies in the Dark Tower in the Tomb of Rassilon itself? There were many dangers and traps along the way, of course. And that's where you two came into play!"

Calvin nodded, expertly knowing.

"You sent us into the Death Zone so we could clear the way for you, didn't you?" he asked.

"Oh, I gave you companions to help you. An old enemy to fight you. Why, it's a game within a game," John Howard mused. "And now, Calvin, you shall serve me."

Calvin glared.

"You hit your head this morning, buddy?" he demanded. "You think for a second I'll help you do anything?"

"Uh, Calvin?" Hobbes asked. "We sort of already have."

"Well, this is as far as I go!" Calvin said firmly.

"You have no choice," said John Howard. "I wear the Coronet of Rassilon!"

John Howard then placed a tiara on his head.

"Huh, quite fetching," Hobbes commented.

"And guess what?" John Howard continued. "It allows me to control the minds of other people."

He put a hand out to Calvin.

"You bow down before me, Calvin!" he ordered.

Calvin suddenly felt a wave of power surge over him. He found himself growing weak.

Hobbes watched nervously.

Then, Calvin found himself dropping to his knees and bowing his head before John Howard.

"CALVIN!" Hobbes cried, running forward, but John Howard pointed at Hobbes, immediately freezing him.

"Come, Calvin," said John Howard, exiting the lab.

Calvin obeyed and followed.

Hobbes somehow was dragged behind them through telepathy.

"My immortality awaits me," John Howard said, leading them out and back into the room.

Just then, they heard a beeping noise coming from Calvin's pocket.

John Howard motioned to Calvin.

Calvin reached into his pocket and pulled out the MTM, opening the place where the CD would go.

"Hello?" he asked in a monotone voice.

"Ah, Calvin!" said Stupendous Man happily. "There I am! I mean, there you are! We're all here, we're all safe, the barriers are down and the box should be arriving any moment now. Plus, we've made a pretty cool discovery!"

"I know what you have discovered," said Calvin. "Do not transmit further. Stay where you are and touch nothing. Hobbes and I are on our way."

Suddenly, the MTM made a weird noise.


John Howard looked down at it.

Sparks of electricity shot flew from the CD player, as it continued buzzing, erratically.

Suddenly, it overloaded and snapped shut.

A little recorded message came out.

"We're sorry, but the range of your call has overloaded the MTM. Please take to your local Calvin so he can fix it. Thank you, and have a nice day."

John Howard stared at the sizzling CD player, shrugged, then went back to work.

Everyone stared at the transmitter Stupendous Man had just come off of.

"Touch nothing?!" Stupendous Man demanded. "Who does he think he is?"

"Something's wrong," said Tracer. "I just know it."

"I'm sure it's just your paranoia."

"I feel it, too," said Spiff.

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see."

Just then, there was a strange noise from nearby.

They stared and watched as the cardboard box suddenly flew into the room and landed in the corner.

"Ah, our transport home," said Socrates happily.

And then, a light flashed from nearby.

Calvin and Hobbes were there.

But everyone was surprised to see someone else there as well.

"John Howard Chill?!" Spiff cried.