A/N: So I've conquered the thoughts of Luke in "Thoughts of a Chuppah Carpenter", and now, it's time to get inside Lorelai's head. This is "Thoughts of a Karaoke Singer". Not a sequel, although if you haven't read "Chuppah Carpenter", you should, because I am shameless. I should be doing about 80 other fics right now, but this is what popped in my head. Anyway, enjoy and please review!
Standing in front of the whole town, in a karaoke bar… singing. It seemed harmless enough at first, with her daughter set to graduate from Yale… the song seemed to have a certain meaning, a certain place in her heart. It was all about Rory, after all, and after she didn't get the fellowship, Lorelai's comforting instincts would run on overdrive to make Rory feel better. If singing "I Will Always Love You", slightly tipsy, was going to make Rory happy, she'd do it any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
But when he walked into the bar… suddenly her logic changed. Singing the lyrics less confidently now, she mentally kicked herself for choosing a song with different interpretations… she found herself serenading Luke Danes.
Of course, she wasn't going to stop. That would imply weakness or nervousness, which Lorelai very rarely exposed to the outside world. If she was going to sing to Luke, which she already was, she might as well sing loud and proud… the moment would be held over her head for the rest of her life anyway.
"You can do this," she thought. "It's not that hard… you've managed to make it to the second verse without choking, forgetting the words, or feeling overly stupid. You've both moved on, anyway."
At least, that's what she'd tried to convince herself. He was once again wearing the blue baseball cap she gave him. To her, it was a symbol of making up, a silent peace offering. Maybe it was Luke's way of letting her know that he was open to letting Lorelai back into his life, in one capacity or another.
"The look he just gave me… God, that can't be embarrassment, at all. That's happiness. I haven't seen him smile in a long time. Maybe it's good, you know, getting all this off my chest," she told herself.
As the song ended, she quickly made her way backstage, attempting to avoid any questioning from Rory or from the townies. She slipped out the back door and just sat on the sidewalk, trying to collect her thoughts. She took a deep breath, staring at nothing in particular and attempting to assess where her heart was, and how this would alter everything.
"What just happened?"
She was so deep in thought, the footsteps behind her startled her.
"Sorry," Luke said sincerely. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"No, no, you didn't," Lorelai assured him.
Luke nodded. "I forget that you're fearless, sorry about that," he said, half joking.
She wiped a tear from her eye. "You remember that next time," she teased, sniffling and trying to stop herself from blubbering. She stood up and sighed, attempting to get the awkward conversation started. "I'm not fearless, Luke. I was scared of losing you… and as a result, we both know I don't handle being afraid very well, because... well, we know where I went. You, on the other hand… afraid of nothing."
Luke shook his head. "I was scared… being suddenly tossed into fatherhood, of having April ripped out of my life as quickly as she'd appeared in it… and I was also afraid of losing you."
Lorelai smiled awkwardly, wiping away another tear. "Listen, this isn't going to be an episode of 'Thoughts of a hopeless and overemotional karaoke singer', but I wanted to let you know… I'm sorry, and uh…" she paused for a moment. "I wish I could take it all back, because, oh, boy, I would."
Luke nodded. "I know, me too. It's okay."
"I mean, you were the one person I'd ever loved... it was never really love with the others..." Lorelai couldn't help the water works then, and she started to pace a little. "And I just..."
Luke gently grabbed Lorelai's arm and leaned in to kiss her. "If you'd have stayed still, I could have done it sooner."
"Well, I hope the third time is a charm, because if it isn't… I'm going to have to find those people who invent all these crazy sayings and physically hurt them," Lorelai teased.
Luke put his arm around Lorelai's waist. "Let's go find Rory, I'm sure she's worried about your emotional state."
"I should do karaoke more often," Lorelai said to herself, walking back into the bar to find Rory.