Birds and Bumblebees

AUTHORS NOTE: This takes place several years after Sam destroyed the Allspark by pushing it into Megatron's chest. As some other author's have suggested (thank you!), the Autobot's battleship, the ARK, has been landed on Earth and camouflaged/hidden from human eyes on the far outskirts of the town, Tranquility, from the movie.

The Decepticons never returned to Earth, despite Optimus Prime and the others warily awaiting the return of Starscream and his re-enforcements. Barricade was left on Earth to his own amusement and was rarely seen.

The message sent by Optimus Prime out into the universe, 'We are here. We are waiting', has been responded to and a steady trickle of Autobots are arriving and making Earth their new home. The message has in particular attracted a great deal of female Autobots; correctly referred to in Cybertronian terminology as femme or femmes; to arrive on Earth as a safe haven. A large percentage of femmes had left their home planet Cybertron to escape being obliterated, seeking sanctuary on other planets, in other cultures, for their own safety (and to have a life other than war). Very few femmes became warriors like Elita One, Chromia and Arcee (to name a select few).

Chapter One

Bumblebee stood back warily, pressing his heavily armored rear end to the wall of the exposed walkway to make more room. The new arrivals currently streaming past him had collectively brought the population of ARK City to fifty-seven Autobots, in total. For the first time, femmes now made up a healthy twenty percent of the population!

The optics of the yellow mech were alternately interested and shy of the femme arrivals. Almost none of the femmes he laid optics on bore any kind of armor. Only shallow delicate coverings designed to be attractive and fashionable. Nothing that would withstand any kind of Decepticon assault, certainly. Nor could he see evidence of weaponry. A few of the female's seemed scared by his own obvious military allegiance; bright yellow armor, the barrel of his solar particle cannon peeking out from behind his forearm until transformed, oversized 'muscular' limbs, his battle mask wedged atop his head. Those femme's took the wider path around him, hurrying themselves along.

Bumblebee had not been exposed to situations like this before. Ever since he was a sparkling, he had been raised in a concentrated military environment, on battleships, and inside fortified bases. Taught to defend himself and be offensive from the very beginning. He had never had a taste of what proper civilian life was like.

Actually, he'd never been confronted by an unattached femme before...


The Weapons Specialist looked up from the personal data terminal on his desk, seeing the yellow bot hovering uncertainly in his doorway. "Eh? Bumblebee."

Ironhide rubbed a hand over the side of his head. "Damn, I hate this office slag. You up for a bit of speed burning around the foothills later?" the older mech asked, looking exceptionally grumpy. Despite the war being unofficially declared on its last legs, the black & grey mech still bore his characteristic cannons. Bumblebee suspected the mech spent his life recharging on his back, since lying in any other position with a massive cannon on either arm was a physical impossibility. Ironhide NEVER removed them. Bumblebee wondered what Chromia had to say about that.

"Okay," Bee nodded. His suspension was in for a pounding again. Ironhide didn't allow for Bee's racing car form not taking well to rocks on the forest trails. He wandered into the small office-type room. Ironhide glanced sideways at the smaller and younger warrior, watching the bot moving around the room uneasily. Something is up, Ironhide mused, turning his head to the left to keep track of Bee as he did a circle behind him and around the desk.

"Cough it up, Bee."

"Huh?" Bee halted, sparkling blue optics blinked their covers at him.

Ironhide squinted the ages old slashed and scarred optic on the right of his face, "What's clawing at your spark today?"

Bumblebee didn't have much of a mouth. Most of his expression came from his incredibly expressive optics, optic arches and curved cheek ridges. It was clear to Ironhide from studying Bee's face that the Autobot was both worried and embarrassed by something.

"If you don't get out what's bothering you, I'm leaving to go blow up whatever it is, by taking a guess," Ironhide said crankily. Straight to the point with violence, as always.

Bumblebee's faceplate lit up with a cheeky expression, "Even if it's Optimus?"

"Nope. He is the one and only exception. Is there someone else I can explode the arse off for you?"

"You're very reliable that way, 'Hide," said Bumblebee, his optics narrowed in amusement.

"I aim to please myself. And what the crap, may I ask, are you really here for?"

"Ah," Bee's head, dipped forwards, his optics focusing on the floor. "Um, well. I'm here for.. I need to ask.. something."

Ironhide's colossal shoulders hitched themselves up. His optics darkened. The fingers of one cannon wearing arm drummed on the desk in irritation. Waiting.

Bumblebee forced his words out with a rush.

"Idon'tknowhattodowithfemmes." Bee stood still. His arms hung straight down by his sides. He couldn't look up from the floor.

Ironhide's optics narrowed. "You WHAT?"

"Femmes. I haven't had any training, you know? I think it got left out of my scheduled formatting." Bumblebee was talking to the floor. He just could NOT look up.

Dear Primus, Ironhide's mouth worked but nothing came out. The youngling was asking him about females. He did a split second clear out of his data banks, searching his memory. Come to think of it, he didn't ever recall discussing anything about femme's with the little bot. The education of Bumblebee in nearly everything was the responsibility of Optimus and himself. Maybe Prime had said something but Bumblebee had forgotten? Not likely. Anything Optimus said was seared forever in Bee's loving memory storage.

Ironhide stood up from his seat. "I think we need to go and see Prime about this."

"Do we?" Bumblebee said desperately, his hands clenching by his sides. Not Optimus, PLEASE no! Doesn't Ironhide understand?.

"Yep. We do." And slag it, if the Femme Magnet ducks out of this one I am breaking my own rules about shooting him! Ironhide cursed to himself. He placed one hand on each of Bumblebee's shoulders, turning him around and pushing him out the door. "Lets go, move it soldier!"