Deepest Fear Revealed
Summary: What if the abuse Harry suffered at the Dursley's went beyond emotional? What if Professor Lupin never stopped Harry from facing the boggart that day in class? And what if his deepest fear was not a dementor[Warning: child abuse
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings, ideas, spells, etc... It's all J.K. Rowling's. I'm not making any money off of this, so don't sue me.
Author's Note: This story is going to mainly take place during Harry's third year, however since this story will not be completely following the books, the prologue needs to explain some things that have happened to Harry before then. Bare with me because it is going to jump around a lot. Also, if you don't like the prologue, please don't stop reading, I promise the chapters will be MUCH more exciting and interesting.
4 year old Harry Potter sat, hugging his knees, on his ratty mattress in the cupboard under the stairs at Number 4 Privet Drive. His eyes shone with unshed tears, from a nightmare he had just awaken from. You may wonder why an ordinary child would not be running to his parents at a time like this, for the proper TLC. The answer? Harry Potter was not ordinary. Not in the eyes of his Aunt and Uncle. His parents had been killed in a car crash because they were driving drunk when he was only one years old. Harry deeply wanted comforting. The nightmare had been filled with green light and a terrible menacing laughter. But he knew not to make a sound. Last time he had awoke after a particularly vivid nightmare, he had snuck up the steps into his aunt's and uncle's room. They had yelled horribly at him for waking the house up because of his freakishness. The next day, Uncle Vernon had beat him terribly with his belt. Harry still had the scars on his back.
And so, that is why, Harry sat silently shaking, fearing above all else that he would anger his guardians once more.
Unfortunately for Harry, his Uncle Vernon's temper grew as the years went on. And as his uncle's temper grew, so did the beatings. Harry began to get daily beatings and impossible amounts of chores. However, if he did not complete all of his chores, he was not fed… for days.
8 year old Harry was sitting in the corner of the room while his obese cousin, Dudley Dursley greedily opened his Christmas presents. Harry knew better than to expect any for himself. He had long since realized he was a freak who did not deserve to be loved. How could he not be a freak with the way he was treated? His job on Christmas morning was to sit silently in the corner and throw away the wrapping paper. He also was to serve food to his family. It was a great honor to be allowed in the room while they opened presents they told him. And he believed them.
11 year old Harry was shocked when his uncle sat him down to inform him that he had been accepted to a boarding school.
"Boy, someone will be coming to pick you up in one week to tell you all about this school you'll be going to, and to take you shopping. You're not to say anything bad about this family! What does it matter, you're probably thinking boy!? Well, you'll still be here for summers!!"
With that, his uncle left him, and Harry had paled significantly. He hadn't been planning on telling anyone anyway. He deserved to be punished when he did something wrong. But he didn't want anyone to see bruises and worry. His family acted strange the week approaching the visit. They fed him regularly, and he wasn't beaten. Not once!
During the visit, Harry met a very large man who called himself Hagrid. Hagrid explained that Harry was a wizard (while shooting angry looks at the Dursleys) and he told him of his past and all about Voldermort. The trip to Diagon Alley went well. Harry had been talked to by many people, but most of the time, however confused he was, he nodded, but stared at his knees, not meeting anyone's eyes. He flinched when anyone touched him, and he never asked questions, although he certainly had enough of them. Harry had been taught by the Durlsey's that to ask questions was a terrible thing, and it normally resulted in a beating from Uncle Vernon.
Hagrid left Harry at King's Cross Station with his ticket, hurrying off while mumbling something about dragons. Harry was very confused as he looked at his ticket. Platform 9 and ¾! There was no such thing. He was certain of it. Harry was fearful, because he had no idea what to do. He sat on a bench by platforms 9 and 10, hugging his knees and crying. It had all just been a cruel joke of the Dursley's, he was certain! None of it had actually happened. There was no Hogwarts… He sobbed into his knees, not knowing what to do. He was in a train station with no way of getting anywhere, with a large trunk and a hooting owl.
Suddenly he heard a girl talking loudly to her mum.
"Mum! There's a boy over on the bench and he's crying. I tried to talk to him, but I don't think he heard me. He's a Hogwarts student, I know it. He has a trunk and an owl!" the red-head girl said.
"The poor dear, I wonder what's wrong," she said to her daughter as she came to sit on the bench by Harry.
Suddenly, she touched his shoulder, and he flinched violently.
"Dear, it's okay. It's okay.." she said to him as he continued to cry. She cast a helpless look at the rest of her family before continuing.
"What happened?" she questioned concerned for the raven-haired boy.
It was hard to make out what he said between the sobs, but the family (7 red-heads were now standing or sitting by Harry) got the main idea.
"I… dunno what to do… 'm not gonna go… no platform… 's not there… I checked…I'm stuck here… dunno how to get anywhere…." he sobbed.
The woman comforted him and gave him a hug before saying, "Dear, it's okay. The platform's invisible to Muggles. It's there, you just have to walk through the barrier by 9 and 10. We can show you."
Then, for the first time since the family had approached, Harry looked up at all of them with a hopeful expression.
"Really?" he choked out.
They family all nodded at Harry. "Okay," he said timidly. He got off the bench and the family all introduced themselves to Harry and told them their ages. Fred, George, and Ron all started talking to Harry while Ginny hid by her mother and Percy walked off with friends.
"You were really upset back there! That must've been terrible not knowing how to get on the platform. I've never heard of that happening to someone before. You must be muggle-born." Fred said while they all looked at Harry expectantly.
"Ermm… sort of," he said.
"What do you mean sort of?" George looked curious.
"I'm not muggle-born, my parents went to Hogwarts, but they died when I was younger, so I..I was raised by muggles."
They all looked at him, "Sorry 'bout your parents. I guess that explains why you didn't know 'bout the platform though," Ron said.
Harry continued to stare at his feet as they walked along with the Weasley parents. Suddenly, Fred said, "I just realized you never told us your name… What is your name?"
Harry had been dreading this ever since Hagrid had told him of his fame throughout the wizarding world. Harry mumbled very softly, "'mHarryPotter."
"What? I couldn't understand you…" George questioned kindly. He could tell the first-year was shy.
Harry looked up at all of them and said rather quickly, "My name's Harry… Potter."
Suddenly the entire Weasley clan (including parents) stopped rather suddenly. Eyes wide, Fred said, "No way… THE Harry Potter?????"
Harry nodded timidly while the Weasley family stared in amazement.
"WHOA! Why didn't you tell us?" both twins said in unison.
Harry shrugged as they walked through the barrier together. He stared up at the Hogwarts express in awe while the Weasley's questioned him hurriedly.
"Were you really raised by Muggles? Do you really have the scar? How cool is that?…." the questions went on and on from the twins and he didn't know how to answer most of them.
Ron looked at Harry and said something really softly, "Wanna find a compartment with me?"
Harry stared at Ron with wide eyes. Someone actually wanted to sit WITH him! Wow…
Misinterpreting his expression, Ron said quickly, "Course if you don't want to, 's okay. I'm sure you have a lot of other friends.."
"No I wanna sit with you, I was just surprised," he replied.
The twins looked at Harry with risen eyebrows. "Why were you surprised?"
He stared down as he replied. "I dunno anyone, I figured you'd be the one with lots of friends, and I was worried I'd have to sit alone."
All three stared at him wide-eyed. Fred and George walked off leaving Ron and Harry to find a compartment saying something that sounded like "Merlin, the boy-who-lived sit alone. Like that would happen. Must be shy."
(Author's Note: The rest of the events of first year went exactly as in the book except, Harry is much more nervous when talking to people and he flinches when people touch him sometimes.)
During one of the last days in the library before he was to go home for the summer, Harry looked up glamour charms in the library. He decided then that from now on as soon as he was on the platform or at Diagon Alley, each year, he would cast glamour charms so that no one would see bruising. He didn't want the awkward questions. He deserved what he got, but he didn't want people thinking it was really bad. He had also purchased Muggle concealers through Owl order so that he could use them during the summer. Harry wasn't sure exactly why he wasn't telling anyone about his home life, except for the fact that he knew he deserved to be treated how he was. Harry was still surprised that Ron and Hermione wanted to be friends with a freak like him, but he wasn't 'bout to question it, and he certainly wasn't going to ruin it by complaining to them about his family. No one would understand, he was certain of it.
"I'll take this secret to my grave," he thought to himself.
(Author's Note: Harry's summers and 2nd year were entirely canon except that Harry was continuously beat by his Uncle and was more shy around people.)