A/N: Well this random venting I attempted to form into a story...so i thought I'd share it and deposit this venting episode into this story bundle. I have another one I'll be adding into here as well. If anyone like these...let me know.

Idle blabber

So much for idle blabber. I can't begin to tell you the torturous sessions I'll endure while sitting in a place I'm completely welcomed in. Hmph, yeah welcomed my ass; there is a tension. Perhaps that is the defensive nature I put off without noticing. I have to say...think rather more that each time I find myself in the presence of this "couple" I'm flung into a fluster. I just keep wondering if what "they" say is true. I don't want it to be, but there is the possibility the truth is in their words. It took an observation from a close friend who I hadn't seen in year to confirm all my fears.

The brunette sat in her living room grimacing at nothing and reached out for her whiskey glass sipping the toxic substance down. Her life was nowhere like a mess. Everything should have been in order outside for her terminal singleness. She found herself feeling older and older every day as if it was to tell to "get up and leave" from all that surrounded her. The brunette's phone began to trill ever so slightly and made more shrills and screams. The whiskey glass responded for the brunette by the shifting ice cubes. She glared at the phone. The name flashed off the screen along with the picture. She sighed after she swallowed the strong liquor. The phone beeped letting her know there was a message waiting. And it went back to its normal screen. There were at least five missed calls, ten texts, and three voicemails. Her chest heaved just a little more.

Life as current for the brunette on the ever personal level was so complicated that the air around her was thick. People would clear the way for her, and at drunk parties she was the spectacle that people watched out for because they didn't trust her stability. They had the right to be angry with her. The way she got when drunk in the company of particular individual while at a party became evident. The raw sexual tension from her alone was unbearable and perhaps alluring to those desperate enough to attempt anything with her. She was a sensitive soul and deep feeling. She was either in control of her emotions or they were in control of her. Her lust was a different story all together; something she had to control because unchecked it was destructive. The brunette often would attempt to leave her mind alone. Her thoughts were too much; just too much.

The brunette sighed again as her phone shrilled a unique ring tone. Her hand tightened around the glass and she just set it down.

Blah blah blah, you should stop doing this. I've heard enough. I'm not dead. I'm so alive its painful. God damn it.

flashback -

The way the younger girl's hands pushed against the brunette's shoulders should have been a message enough to what the younger girl wanted. The next queue had to have been the way she mounted the brunette after pushing her down against the bed. The fluid movement of her hips brushing, grinding, against the brunette's. The rush for brunette was too much as an exasperate moan escaped from the younger girl's mouth. The girl grabbed the brunette's face as she continued with her torture to the brunette's body. The young girl's lips scorched the along the brunette's neck and quench her lust as they met in a hungry kiss. The girl's lips wen to the brunette's ear and she whispered hotly two words that the brunette just couldn't bare.

End flashback -

Shizuru Fujino had finish her whiskey a while back as a hand patted her face. The red eyes opened to see her blonde haired friend Haruka. The woman had a key to her place, and walked in while Shizuru lay unconscious on her couch. Shizuru brushed her long hair back and rubbed her face. She had a hang over and it was only five in the afternoon. Haruka looked at the glass on the table and looked at the ash tray.

"You need to write it out." Haruka said handing Shizuru a notebook out of thin air.

"I don't want to." Shizuru said in rough tired voice. Haruka shoved the notebook against Shizuru's chest and the brunette violently grabbed it. "Bitch."

"Yes, at least I can get you out of a depressed suicidal mood." Haruka said spitefully. "It has to be done. If you could only see what you look like right now. It's all..."

"Shut up! I don't...I don't want to hear it. I know what I look like. Not good enough for her. Not good enough for anything. Dead beat dumb bitch." Shizuru almost shouted but got quiet at the end.

The brunette sighed one last time and set out to write a listen of pro's and con's in her smoke filled apartment. Shizuru Fujino glared at the paper and her friend who sat there calmly. Haruka made her read her list and the weighted choices pointed to an answer she did not want to hear. The list spoke the negative tone. The tone to stay away from Natsuki Kuga. Haruka just shook her head at Shizuru and the red eyed woman threw the notebook across the room.

"You should at least answer some of those phonecalls." Haruka said never moving her eyes from Shizuru. The brunette still standing looked at her phone and looked at her bottle of whiskey. Haruka quickly stood as they both darted at the bottle. Haruka got to the bottle first and Shizuru stumbled out of the way holding her hands up. "Hopeless...that is what you are becoming. Hopeless and pathetic."